Purdue University. Home of the Boilermakers, and where the Wabash spreads its valley. This campus has given me and countless others some of the best years of our lives, but we've got some questions for the administration that really need answers. Boiler up.
- Why does campus smell like old fries, sewage, or a combination of both?
- Why do you punish us with the cruel excuse for toilet paper you put in campus bathrooms?
- Why does it matter if I eat that cookie inside or outside the dining court?
- Where do you order those cookies from? I’ll miss them dearly next year.
- Why don’t people actually say “hello” on the Hello Walk?
- Is it too much to ask for a WiFi network that works, at least most of the time?
- Do you think it’s OK to tell people on tours that you can get anywhere on campus in a 10-minute walk? Because that's hilarious.
- Why do most of the restaurants in the Union close so early?
- Why are Oreos, or anything else for that matter, in the markets so expensive?
- Why must the tour groups walk through the dining courts? I feel like an animal on display.
- Why, oh WHY doesn’t the Sloop run later, especially in the winter?
- Why aren’t the buses ever on time?
- Is there a spot on campus where parking isn’t reserved?
- Is your parking system just another slimy revenue stream at $35 a pop for parking tickets?
- Why do you sell the same food in cafes that you serve in the dining courts?
- Why are we spending so much money on a new football facility when we won fewer than 7 games the last 3 seasons?
- Why don’t all the dorms have A/C? Indiana in August is brutal.
- Who started the tradition of putting bikes in trees?
- Is John Purdue really buried on Memorial Mall?
- Who started the tradition of a fountain run? Why couldn’t we walk?
- How do people hear about Purdue all the way in California? Or Montana? Or Idaho? Or India?
- How many Purdue Pete’s are there really?
- Why does the wind always blow against me no matter the direction I’m walking in?
- What is the Jedi Room in Beering really used for?
- Why do we have the World’s Largest Drum? Why not a trumpet or a flute?
- If I walk under the bell tower, will I really not graduate on time?
- Will I marry the person I kiss under the bell tower?
- Why are all the bathrooms on campus straight out of the 1960s?
- Also, why are there complete sitting areas in the bathrooms themselves?
- Were the clapping circles designed or an accident? Are you supposed to stand there and clap like a seal?
- What’s the easiest way of explaining what a Boilermaker is?
- Why don’t we have more concerts at Elliot or on Slayter?
- Speaking of Slayter, is it acceptable to use my mattress as a sled in the winter?
- Why are the dorms so far away from the food spots near Chauncey Hill?
- Why do so many courses require access codes that are usually over $100, not including the book?
- Furthermore, why do I have to pay to do my homework?
- Why is it so miserable and windy walking under the Math building?
- Why are there classes in buildings completely unrelated to it? An example: psychology in Electrical Engineering.
- Why are the tunnels so scary to walk in?
- Who thought that having 7:30 am classes was OK?
- Why is Purdue under a constant state of construction?
- Why do all the dorm lobbies look like a retro-80s living room?
- Why do I love Purdue so much?
