Recently in one of my classes, my professor led our class in a discussion about education and more specifically, Luther. Many opinions and options were brought up about the pros and cons of Luther, like it being a four year college, college athletics, and how admissions counselors sell a school either through deception, exaggeration, or half truths. Through this discussion I started to feel a little less like an outsider about my thoughts on returning to Luther in the fall. Other students shared their hesitations about coming to Luther, a four year college and playing sports in college; both significant areas to consider when discussing options for education.

After leaving class that day I felt very relieved and almost happy. Part of my discomfort about staying at Luther is feeling as though I don’t fit in with my peers and I don’t feel as though I have a role model surrounding me and supporting me in my passions. Knowing that I wasn’t the only one struggling helped me realized that it was worth giving myself a second chance. I went through a process of doubting myself, and whether I made the right choice in picking my school. A good portion of the spring I spent depressed, blaming others, and hating myself. Being a little ways removed from the situation now I have come to realize who and what were strong contributors to my unraveling. Although I can’t change the people or the situation, I can choose who I value as important people in my life, who will build me up and support me rather than tear me down for their own personal gain. I learned that my life is better without those toxic people.

Although I am planning on returning to Luther in the fall, I still have some doubt as to whether it is the right place for me. I’m sure that by staying focused, working hard, and finding good people, it will turn out well. However I think that I will always wonder if I had chosen to make the more unconventional, more difficult but maybe, the ultimately better choice? I don’t know what this choice would be but looking back on it, I don’t think that a four year, private, liberal arts college was the best choice at this point in my education and life experience.

I would like to encourage those who are considering options at any point in their life to not be afraid to make changes when things aren’t going well. As hard and scary as it is to be in a terrible situation and you feel like you can’t do anything, or you are stuck or you deserve to be in the situation you are in, any change you make could change your life for the better.