Everyone has their pet peeves, right? Loud eaters, slow drivers, nail bitters, maybe people who stare at you awkwardly (one of my big ones)? My biggest pet peeve though is people who can’t communicate. Let me explain.

I don’t necessarily want to say that my biggest pet peeve are people who can’t communicate because if your talking, texting, emailing - you're communicating. It is how one communicates or the lack thereof that really annoys me. It’s the people who clearly don't even try to use proper communication skills in any kind of intelligent way that really gets to me. Am I saying that I’m a perfect communicator? No. However, I strongly believe that effective communication is very important to the everyday workings of our society and it’s something that people should strive to better themselves at daily.

Think about it.

Whether it’s at our jobs, with our families or friends, we communicate all of the time. Sometimes the way in which we converse can be the difference between a good relationship or a bad one, a productive work environment or a toxic one, a thriving friendship or a failing one. If everyone tried their best when communicating - to be clear, concise, thoughtful, direct - think about just how different many peoples lives and relationships would be. Here are ways that I try to be a better communicator:

1. Listen

I don't mean listening to what someone is saying, (yes, do that too!) but listen to how they communicate. When you hear them speak, can you tell what they’re passionate about? What annoys them? Do they tell detailed stories or vague, brushed-over ones? For me, a big part of communicating is recognizing how the other person communicates so that I know how to best communicate back.

2. Ask Questions

I ask a lot of questions. Asking questions can provide you with answers to questions that you may not have thought to ask. Asking questions allows for the other person to be more invested in the conversation - whether it’s providing feedback about a particular project at work or opening up and discussing their feelings in a personal relationship. Additionally, I always ask, “How do you best communicate?” Is it by phone, text, email, face-to-face? Bullet points? Details? The answers to these questions will allow for a more efficient and productive flow of communication.

3. Review

After every meeting or conference call, I always like to do a general review of what was discussed, what the next steps are and specifically, what the tasks are that I’m responsible for. This allows for any miscommunication that may have happened in the meeting, to be clarified. I do this specifically at work, but this strategy can be beneficial in personal relationships as well.

4. Check Yourself

Even if I think I’m doing a great job at communicating, I always check myself and see where I can improve. Communication opens up ideas, thoughts, and feelings. The way in which one communicates can have drastic affects on all of the above. Clear, thoughtful, and open communication is key and keys open doors to so many possibilities.