Adoption is a topic that Brittney and I have discussed before we started dating so long ago. We got married in July of 2008, moved to Moline in July of 2012, and fostered (to adopt) three wonderful boys starting May of 2014. It has been over two years since that momentous day, and nothing has been the same. I've learned in a short time that parenting is one of the hardest experiences in a person's life. I'm going to discuss four ways how three boys under the age of five have taught me more about myself than anything else.
1. Patience
I envy people with patience more than anyone. As you can understand, children more than any other group expect us to stop what we're doing to answer their question or fulfill a task. Let's consider questions as a prime example. Imagine the difficulty of answering the multitude of questions from one child, and then multiply that by three. There are times when I don't reply to one kid to avoid being asked even more from the other two. Over a short period, I've realized I don't have much patience. It's easier to just yell at them to stop asking so many questions. Instead, it'd be much better to ask them nicely to ask one more and be done. This is Alex. Alex is six, and the oldest of the three. He is the bravest boy I have ever met.
2. Order
I remember a girl from my small group bible study telling me that my house will never be clean again. Of course, I was naive enough to believe that if we kept up with it, the house can still be in good shape. After some time, it became difficult and added an unnecessary amount of stress. To be honest, it took a little too long for us to realize that maybe we should let it go. Just a few months ago, Brittney and I texted each other about it and realized that we were in the same position. She would stress that I'd be mad if it was messy, and I was worried she'd be stressed if it was messy. We came to the conclusion that we won't worry about it anymore and just clean up as needed. It's helped a great deal! This is Amari. Amari is five, and the middle child. He is the smartest boy I have ever met.
3. Priorities
When Brittney and I got married eight years ago, I didn't realize that I was very selfish. I wanted to do my own thing (like when I was single), and it killed me that I couldn't do what I wanted when I wanted to do them. It took a few years to realize that I need to live for her and nobody else—not even myself. With kids, this takes away personal time even more. It's still something with which Brittney and I struggle, but we've been trying hard to find time to do our own thing. Brittney recently became a Noonday ambassador, and I have really gotten into running. Brittney had her first show this last Saturday, and I ran my first half-marathon a little over a month ago. This is Zavi. Zavi is four, and the youngest child. He is the most carefree boy I have ever met.
4. Love
I'm not a sentimental person by any means, but I've learned an incredible amount about love. I've come to realize that love is not something that comes naturally. We didn't know these boys when they were babies, so we didn't have that bond from conception. It takes time and effort to build an unbreakable bond. Personally, I tend to keep people at arm's length before allowing them inside my heart. It's been over two years, but I've come to love these boys more and more as time passes. One of the very first lessons we taught the boys is that no matter what happens, we will love them. That they can't do anything to make us stop loving them. With their past, it's a foundation they needed in order to grow and progress. This is Brittney and me. We're old. We're tired... but wouldn't trade this for anything!
