Sometimes, being single is a refreshing and empowering time to start a new era within our lives. Yet, it happens to all of us at some point where being single becomes unbearable. I find that this feeling happens mostly when other aspects of life are crumpling apart and we're reminded even more that we don't have that special someone to lean on.
This causes us to be reckless with our feelings and that doesn't help one bit when it comes to our own happiness. Allowing ourselves to think that a relationship is what will fix all problems in life and make everything feel okay again is not the right perspective.
Once we are able to recognize this however, is finally where we can begin to have a different view on life. It is possible to be single and happy and here are a few tips that can help you get there.
1. Never Settle!
When you are most vulnerable, you might allow yourself to get close to someone that you know isn't the best for you. It doesn't do you any favors ignoring this, because it just wastes time for both parties involved. It might feel nice to have some attention after a while, but your own self-validation should be enough. Plus, remember all those guys that have ever ghosted (stopped talking to you randomly with no explanation) you? You don't want to be that person to someone else.
2. Delete or Not to Delete: Tinder.
This can go either way, and can be useful either way. It sounds awful, but this is something most woman low-key agree on. Tinder can be an ego-boost. Which hey, that is something we all need from time to time. And there is nothing wrong with that. Want to feel pretty? I guarantee you start swiping and then somehow match with that cute guy that lived on your dorm floor freshman year. Talk about feeling on top of the world.
And it's essentially harmless.
But...
Depending on how much you use it, it might be time to delete the app altogether. That shouldn't be your only source for self-validation and confidence. If it is, then it is time to say goodbye to swiping. Instead, say hello to finding that confidence within yourself because that feels better any day.
3. Do Not Obsess If He Doesn't Text Back
Probably the hardest one for any of us. Overthinking everything is in our nature. You think everything is going well and then one day it's just gone. You go back through every message that was ever sent between you two and try to find some hint or clue to help you understand. Then you re-evaluate yourself.
Was it something I did?
That's where you need to stop right there. That is allowing another person determine your own self-worth and that is not okay. There could be a million reasons for why he vanished.
And at the end of the day, maybe you did do something to turn him off. But guess what, that's life. Our college years are for finding out what we like and what we want out of a relationship, not forcing one. There have been guys in your life that you weren't that interested in either. Remind yourself that it's his loss and look toward the future.
4. Focus on YOU.
No one should be a higher priority within your life other than you. If the idea of a relationship or being with someone is causing you to lose focus on important aspects to your life like family, friends, school, etc. then there is a problem.
Remind yourself every day that happiness begins with you, and causing yourself to lose focus on the already wonderful things in your life is only going to cause unhappiness later. You are more than your relationship status and you deserve to remind yourself of that every day.
