When you've been single for a while, you start to develop certain habits. You get used to doing things on your own; you become incredibly independent. When you’ve been single for say, five years, these habits become pretty set in stone. You may second guess things when you've been single for a while. You may rethink what you want all the time. You're torn between living your own life and making room for someone else to be apart of it. When you start seeing the potential of getting in a relationship, some of these habits have to give a little bit. Here are some important habits to look at when you’re rethinking your singleness.
1. You have to unlearn the art of being selfish.
Okay, you can be a little selfish, but if you're constantly thinking of only yourself, what are you doing? If you're with someone you care about, you have to start thinking about what they may want and how they may feel. I mean, you should probably take other people's feelings into consideration anyway, but still. You have to start looking at the bigger picture.
2. Understand that exes will probably hit you up when they see you doing better.
It doesn't always happen, but if it does, DO NOT FALL PREY. Your ex might bring up excuses for why it should be you two together. For example, timing caused you two to miss each other. After all, you two were meant to be since you frequented the same bars, went to the same school, lived about half an hour apart in your hometown. *eyeroll* No matter how many times they project the idea of "timing always being off," remember that there's a reason you are with a different person opposed to your ex. Neither of you were right for each other, and that's just how fate works out.
3. Understand that this person is not going to try to hurt you.
When/if you've grown up watching people get treated like shit, you start to stray away from close relationships. Being in a relationship hasn't always been your first idea, but eventually, you will learn that relationships don't have to be that way. You don't have to close yourself off to anyone.You come to terms that you're going to get hurt you have the potential of getting hurt, but the right person will try their hardest not to.
4. Trust is not a right.
You may teach someone or maybe be taught that trust is a privilege and not a right. When you've been alone for so long, you've learned all the ins and outs of people you should and shouldn't trust. Frankly, you may think that people shouldn't be trusted right away in general. When you're rethinking your singleness, you need to keep an open mind, though. Sometimes things will just feel right when it's the right person. Timing doesn't dictate your life, so quit following a preconceived timeline of when you should trust someone.
Sometimes, you fall for someone at the most unexpected time. It could be the last thing you want, but it just happens and you cant help but fall. Remember to always keep yourself first. At the end of the day, the only person you have to live with is yourself. Keep in mind that a relationship shouldn't be surrounded with promising each other forever, but rather promising to give each other your best that day. The biggest thing to remember is:
