4 Things To Bring On Your Next Clown Hunt | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

4 Things To Bring On Your Next Clown Hunt

Watch Out For Clown Cars

117
4 Things To Bring On Your Next Clown Hunt
Huffington Post

What a terribly spooky time we have been living in. Halloween-tober has just arrived, and already we have clowns prowling the U.S; waiting to spook your skeleton right out of your skin.

These clowns are incredibly scary. They carry weapons or they stand silently beckoning. Too creepy for me! So, I motion to make a clown survival kit. A kit to carry around with you that will defend you from a clown appearance. Here they are, for your protection

1. A Pie

Everyone knows clowns love pies. Consider having an apple pie ready to go at all times. The clown, with it’s instincts overpowering it, will take the pie and smash it into it’s own face. Now, this may not stop the clown, but it sure will make it look silly as it chases you down the street

2. An imaginary gun

A fundamental law of the universe is that you never bring a knife to a gunfight. When the clown runs at you with a machete whip out your imaginary pistol, he’ll feel like a fool. If you really want to intimidate that clown, fire an imaginary warning shot into the air. The resounding silence will let the clown know you mean business and if you really want to scare it you can make a bang sound with you mouth.

3. A clown nose

Show that clown your spoil of war., He’ll turn tail and run at the sight of this trophy you’ve plundered from one of his fallen brethren.

4. Gluten

Surprisingly enough, most clowns are allergic to gluten! Who knew.


I hope this quick list has helped you to combat the clowns in your area. If you find this kit is not enough, then I would recommend contacting your local circus. They are very good at wrangling and rehabilitating clowns. Remember, clowns are people too.
Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Lifestyle

10 Signs You Work In A Restaurant

There's always chaos in the restaurant business.

341
10 Signs You Work In A Restaurant
Brisanis

Working in the restaurant industry is possibly the most fundamentally challenging occupation I have ever experienced when it comes to hospitality and customer service. When you go to a five-star restaurant you expect the time of your life, a two hour getaway, a walk through another time period (rustic Italy, France, Spain, etc), or simply a honeymoon undergo. What you don't see are the behind the scenes scut work: carrying trays, polishing glassware and silverware, kitchen chaos, the list is endless. Now, I'm not saying being a host, server, or bartender is the worst thing in the whole wide world, there are definitely worse things. But the fact of the matter is that it isn't always sunshine and rainbows. In the two years that I have spent in restaurant and customer service, I have spoken my share of expletives, yelled at kitchen staff, and dealt with not-so-happy guests. It isn't easy to keep a bright and shiny smile on your face when all you want to do is choke every person who walks near you. Anyone who has spent even two weeks working in a restaurant understands the rigor and stress that comes with it. Restaurant culture is a tiny world in and of itself that operates on its own principles and creates its own society. It even has its own language. The sayings "runner", "corner", and "on a bus" wouldn't make sense to anyone otherwise. My mother and I both work in a restaurant and the best advice I can give someone going out to eat is to treat us like people. Yes...believe it or not we are people, people. Say "please" and "thank you", or stack your cleared plates before a busser gets to the table. Trust me, the gesture goes a lot farther than you may think.

So, if you work in a restaurant, you can relate with the following points. If not, check out how the brain of a restaurant service (or any customer service) worker actually works. See if you can identify any crazy weird habits your friends have a tendency to partake in.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

11 Things I Learned My Freshman Year of College

Not everything you learn in college can be found in a textbook.

294
Breanna Vogel
Breanna Vogel

One of the scariest things we will ever face in our life is going to college. Many of us move away to a new town, join new organizations, and make new friends. We are expected to study, have a social life, relationships, maybe work, and be healthy. It seems pretty easy to do, and in high school all we wanted to do was graduate and move on to this next chapter of our lives. If you are in high school, here are some things that you can learn from before you get to college. If you have already been through your freshman year of college, hopefully you can relate to the things I have learned in college.

Keep Reading...Show less
how to get away with murder
Tumblr

It's about that time where we are too tired to do anything productive, too cold to leave bed, and too lazy to find a new show to watch so we result to re-runs.

For all of you home-bodies, for all of you cold weather haters, here are my suggestions for this holiday break. Let the binging begin!

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

12 Long-Term Relationship Milestones

You've got a keeper if you've made it to any of these milestones.

703
couple on the beach
Pexels

You've been together for so long. It's great. And as the time spent in your relationship grows, you hit certain milestones where you know it's real. These can be make-or-break moments, or just little things where you finally realize that you're both doing it. Everybody hits these milestones, no matter how long it takes; they're inevitable.

You know you've made it when you hit these long-term relationship milestones.

Keep Reading...Show less
10 Of The Best Shows To Binge Watch Over Winter Break

As the semester is coming to an end, most of us are going to have more free time on our hands. This calls for binge watching a new show on Netflix and really using this break to relax from the stress of school. Here are some of the best shows on Netflix that you should be watching.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments