4 Things Losing A Parent Taught Me. | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Relationships

4 Things Losing A Parent Taught Me.

Losing my mom was the most painful experience.

10
4 Things Losing A Parent Taught Me.
Shania Acuna

When I was just 12 years old I experienced what I refer to as the worst thing that has ever happened to me. After two years of watching my mother battle with cancer, on January 25, 2009, she lost the battle which she so courageously fought. My mom was my hero, my best friend and the most important person in my life. Losing my mom was a life changing event for me because my mom and I did everything together, she even walked me to class every day up until I was in sixth grade. She was the kind of lady that no one wanted to mess with, she protected her kids and didn’t care what anyone had to say. Even with all the pain and heartbreak that comes alone with losing a parent there are a few ting you learn alone the way to being able to live without them.

1. Everyone grieves differently

I can’t stress enough how important it is to remember this. Everyone deals with loss in the own way, and it is okay to do so. When my mom died I was inconsolable for months, years even, while my sisters dealt with it differently and had already come to terms with it. Everyone has a different relationship with people as well so not everyone will share your heartbreak. Grieve in a way that makes you feel better, it’s okay to cry and be upset! Never let anyone tell you how you should feel.

2. You are going to try to blame everyone.

When my mom passed away, I blamed everyone for it. I blamed her doctors, I was convinced that there was more they could have done. I couldn’t see at that time that there was nothing they could do. I blamed my family, for not telling me sooner how sick my mom actually was. It took me years to understand why they did it, they didn’t want to take away the last year I had with her. They didn’t want that time to feel hurtful for me, they wanted me to just have fun and make the best memories with her that I could.

3. Hurt doesn’t go away overnight.

The pain you feel isn’t going to go away overnight, and unfortunately, it probably never will but you learn to deal with it. During the grieving process, you learn to turn those painful memories into beautiful times you spent with your loved one. Those times that it hurts to think about right now, that perfume you suddenly get a whiff of that brings back memories, or even that ugly Christmas sweater they got you will one day be things you hold one to and cherish. Don’t try and set a deadline for your grief, go with the flow and work through it at your own pace. No one should be rushing you.

4.Family isn’t always blood.

One of the biggest things I’ve learned is that family isn’t always your blood. When you lose someone like a parent, it can cause a family to drift apart, especially when not everyone shares the same grief as you. Family is someone who will sit and cry with you when you need it, who will listen to you tell the same story over and over again because it makes you feel better. My family came in the form of my best friend. Even though I didn’t meet her until I was 15 years old, she has been by my side ever since. Her family has become one of the biggest support systems I have, I know for sure they would be there for me no matter what happens. They have guided me through the start of my adult years and help me begin to come to terms with the lose I endured so many years before.

When I lost my mom, I was forced to grow up, and my childhood ended right then at the age of 12. I had to be strong for myself, and I had to learn how to deal with the massive heartache that took over my life. I write this to give other kids hope, that what they feel right now is justified. I want people to know that even though the world feels like it has stopped on its axis that it will always keep spinning. Never give up on yourself, because with everything that you are going through you’re going to come out on the other side so thankful for the memories and for the strength you’ve gained. That special loved one is always looking down on you, and just know that they are so proud.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

15 Mind-Bending Riddles

Hopefully they will make you laugh.

193776
 Ilistrated image of the planet and images of questions
StableDiffusion

I've been super busy lately with school work, studying, etc. Besides the fact that I do nothing but AP chemistry and AP economics, I constantly think of stupid questions that are almost impossible to answer. So, maybe you could answer them for me, and if not then we can both wonder what the answers to these 15 questions could be.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

Most Epic Aurora Borealis Photos: October 2024

As if May wasn't enough, a truly spectacular Northern Lights show lit up the sky on Oct. 10, 2024

17006
stunning aurora borealis display over a forest of trees and lake
StableDiffusion

From sea to shining sea, the United States was uniquely positioned for an incredible Aurora Borealis display on Thursday, Oct. 10, 2024, going into Friday, Oct. 11.

It was the second time this year after an historic geomagnetic storm in May 2024. Those Northern Lights were visible in Europe and North America, just like this latest rendition.

Keep Reading...Show less
 silhouette of a woman on the beach at sunrise
StableDiffusion

Content warning: This article contains descriptions of suicide/suicidal thoughts.

When you are feeling down, please know that there are many reasons to keep living.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

Power of Love Letters

I don't think I say it enough...

459426
Illistrated image of a letter with 2 red hearts
StableDiffusion

To My Loving Boyfriend,

  • Thank you for all that you do for me
  • Thank you for working through disagreements with me
  • Thank you for always supporting me
  • I appreciate you more than words can express
  • You have helped me grow and become a better person
  • I can't wait to see where life takes us next
  • I promise to cherish every moment with you
  • Thank you for being my best friend and confidante
  • I love you and everything you do

To start off, here's something I don't say nearly enough: thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You do so much for me that I can't even put into words how much I appreciate everything you do - and have done - for me over the course of our relationship so far. While every couple has their fair share of tiffs and disagreements, thank you for getting through all of them with me and making us a better couple at the other end. With any argument, we don't just throw in the towel and say we're done, but we work towards a solution that puts us in a greater place each day. Thank you for always working with me and never giving up on us.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

11 Signs You Grew Up In Hauppauge, NY

Because no one ever really leaves.

27502
Map of Hauppauge, New York
Google

Ah, yes, good old Hauppauge. We are that town in the dead center of Long Island that barely anyone knows how to pronounce unless they're from the town itself or live in a nearby area. Hauppauge is home to people of all kinds. We always have new families joining the community but honestly, the majority of the town is filled with people who never leave (high school alumni) and elders who have raised their kids here. Around the town, there are some just some landmarks and places that only the people of Hauppauge will ever understand the importance or even the annoyance of.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments