I recently wrote an article on How My Relationship With My Brother Changed When I Came To Liberty, but this time I wanted to focus on a rather humorous aspect of our relationship: a few things that I've learned from being his older sister.
Going by what I've heard from my friends who only have sisters, growing up with a little brother is a completely different experience-- especially with my brother. Being his sister has taught me quite a lot, such as...
1. Marvel and Star Wars and Pixar movies are all the greatest things ever.
These movies, along with Veggie Tales and Schoolhouse Rock, were how we bonded growing up. They're still how we bond. If I didn't have a little brother who always shared my dad's fondness for superheroes, I wouldn't have grown up knowing anything about them-- those fictional realms that little-Em (wrongly) categorized as "for boys". If my brother and dad hadn't asked me to go see Captain America with them, then I never would've gotten into Marvel movies. If my brother and I hadn't played Lego Star Wars on the Wii, I'd probably still be uninterested in it. And if my brother wasn't born, well, we may not have started watching Pixar movies, and that would be truly sad. I can easily say that my life is so much more fun, and more pop-cultured as well, with my little brother around. These stories and characters have touched my life deeply and challenged me to have more depth in my own stories, and I wouldn't have any of that if it wasn't for my brother.
2. Boys and girls tend to handle conflict and emotions extremely differently. (This is good to remember for future relationships.)
I cry. A lot. When I'm frustrated, hurt, anxious, or just generally overflowing with emotion. It's kind of ridiculous. My brother, bless him, gets freaked out whenever I cry. He doesn't really know how to handle it, especially if he doesn't get why I'm crying, so he'll usually either tell me to stop or run and get my parents, who will know how I need to be approached. I am very much a hugger; he is very much not a hugger. He doesn't like to show affection to family in public; I'm usually the one instigating said affectionate displays. Conflict stresses me out and stays with me for awhile, but he has the oft-envied ability to move on from it almost immediately after it's resolved. Our differences in the way we view and handle emotions and conflict often are the catalyst for arguments between us, but sometimes those differences can be strengths in that we can balance each other out. The key is empathy-- trying your hardest to understand where your sibling is coming from, especially if it's not the way you're accustomed to thinking.
3. He is never going to understand all of your interests or your girl-issues-- and this is okay.
It's okay to have different interests. I'm very much into musicals and period dramas and, as the Owl City song goes, "all things bright and beautiful". He, in proper middle school boy form, is scornful of all of these things. This is fine because frankly, I don't get some of his interests either. It used to bother me, but now I've learned that we can always find common ground our family, in food, and in the aforementioned movies, and that is more than enough. As for the girl-issues, as nice as it would be to have a sister to share those struggles with, I have a wonderful mom who is a wonderful advice-giver and who can relate to the girl-things, so I'm quite content. Plus, I don't have a sister stealing my clothes or any of that sister-drama that I am told supposedly goes down, so I'm good, thanks.
4. If you have a little brother, you are going through life with the most simultaneously annoying, endearing, and hilarious human being you will ever meet.
I was there when he sat in the toilet and called it a birdbath, when our parents called poison control on him for various reasons, when he staunchly refused to eat his dinner, when he ran away from home but stayed within the limits of how far down the street he was allowed to go, and when he told me to go find a boyfriend on ChristianMingle. He was there watching in awe while I reached all the growing-up milestones first, and in return I get to encourage him from experience when he reaches them himself. He was there to give me hugs and get righteously angry when I was hurt by someone-- but in the next breath he would be 100% done with my wallowing and tell me to move on. Our memories and inside jokes are endless, and I can always count on him to laugh with me. We've had a great many adventures and mishaps, and life is never dull or boring with him around.
I'm so incredibly grateful to have grown up with a little brother, and for all the life lessons I have learned as a result. Getting to be his older sister is seriously the best, and now I know that even if given the chance, I wouldn't change a thing.