There are around seven billion people in the world. That means that there are about three hundred-fifty millionladies roaming the planet. For this reason, it is unfortunately inevitable that you will come across at least one that you despise. This is the girl that makes your head hurt and your skin crawl. You feel like you can’t be within a hundred mile radius of her without the claws coming out. You dream about her demise and you spend hours picturing how it might come about.

Hatred is a nasty little beast, and we, as the classy women we are, need to stop feeding it. It is simply not worth hating another girl, and I’m going to do my best to tell you why.

1. By hating her, you are only hurting yourself.

True soul searing, heart-burning hatred is a terrible feeling, and to be honest, she’s not any worse off for you feeling that way, even though you may want her to be. You, and you alone, feel the pain of your own anger, and why would you want to do that to yourself? Hating her doesn’t change anything, and it definitely doesn’t make anything better. It is incredibly difficult to learn to be happy with yourself when you are spending so much time despising somebody else.

2. You are probably using hatred to avoid your real feelings.

While hatred is an intense feeling, it is not the worst one in the book. More than likely, you are focusing all of your energy on hating this other girl because you are trying to avoid how you really feel. Maybe underneath the hatred you are hurt, maybe you are jealous, or maybe you are just confused. Whatever it is, it is much easier to hate her than to deal with the difficulty that comes with facing your own emotions. But, if you don’t, you will never heal. If you let go of your negative feelings towards her, you can start using that energy to find positivity in yourself.

3. You are forgetting that she is as much of a person as you are.

You have probably spent so much time picturing this girl as a monster that you’ve forgotten that she is a human, just like you are. We have all done ugly things. We have all made mistakes, we have all hurt someone, and we have all been selfish. Does that mean that we are bad people? Of course not; and neither is she. People have reasons for the things they do, and people deal with their own pain and fight their own demons every day. Put yourself in her shoes and put empathy above animosity and you will be all the better for it.

4. We are all ladies here.

And we have to stick together. In a world where we are constantly judged for our appearances, where we are constantly made to feel uncomfortable in our own skin, where we are underestimated and overlooked, where presidential candidates can say things like, “Grab her by the p***y” and get away with it, where men think that ‘being a man’ means having control over a woman; we need to be each others shoulders to lean on. We cannot be cruel to each other, and we cannot afford to hate each other. Instead, we need to give each other strength and lift each other up. We are all ladies here and it is our duty as such to overcome pettiness and drama, to learn to understand and trust one another, and to be the kind of women who can kill that nasty little monster called hatred.

It is just not worth hating another girl, so next time you feel the claws coming out; stay strong, for yourself, and for women everywhere.