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4 Movies That Would Be Improved With Muppets

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4 Movies That Would Be Improved With Muppets
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All that Walt Disney did was slap his name on everything he legally could. Disney is a brand. Jim Henson, however, was the real deal. In the 50's, Henson created the show ”Sam and Friends” which featured a lizard named Kermit- who would later become the frog that became an internet meme that just wouldn't die. But before Kermit's transformation from reptile to amphibian, Henson made a load of commercials and talk show appearances where he showcased characters like Rowlf. He even had a stint on SNL before the writers got sick of writing for puppets. After breaking ground with Sesame Street, he created the best thing to happen to puppets since buttons sewed onto a sock. “The Muppet Show” was genius and you could tell from the two pilots created. This allowed the Muppets to transition smoothly to the big screen.

What's incredibly fascinating about the Muppets is how versatile they are. Henson created them for a wide audience and it shows. The vaudeville comedy with absurdist humor on top of lovable characters performed by industry legends like Frank Oz was a universal appeal. Kids loved it, adults loved it, and the series never felt like it favored one audience over the other. It was self-aware enough to appeal to people who felt like they were above puppet shows but at the same time and filled with enough spectacle and musical numbers to appeal to everyone else. They were recognizable no matter what role they were playing, and the films demonstrated this tremendously.

Their first film established how all of the characters came about meeting each other, but the sequel told a completely different story where Kermit, Fozzy, and Gonzo were news reporters investigating a crime while the rest of the Muppet crew were just eccentric guests in a run-down hotel. Kermit was still Kermit, Fozzy was still Fozzy, and Gonzo was as Gonzo as he's ever been, but they were not the same characters from the previous film. This continued with the other sequels as well, with each film portraying the characters meeting as if for the first time. You see, the Muppets aren't just fun characters, they themselves are actors taking on roles that compliment their personalities. Even if Kermit is dressed up as a ship captain and sword fighting with Tim Curry, he's still Kermit the Frog and the film makes no attempts at hiding it. It's like how Will Smith is always Will Smith in everything he acts in. Except these guys are made of felt and were in show business decades before Mr. Smith took a cab to Bel-Air.

This means that the Muppets can basically adapt any movie they feel like and fit in with it just fine so long as nobody is taking it too seriously. Although most of their movies have original stories, I think it's about time they came back with another adaptation of an already existing property.


Titanic (1997)

Tell me that you cannot see Kermit and Ms. Piggy at the edge of the great Titanic, looking onto the infinite sea. “I'm queeeeen of the worrrrld!!” Ms. Piggy blubbers, as Kermit struggles to keep her from falling into the water. Gonzo would be captain of the vessel, trying to steer it while skimming through a book with directions on how to operate a massive ship and Rizzo the Rat begrudgingly following his orders.

Rather than everyone freezing to death at the end, Fozzy would swing by in an anachronistic motorboat and everyone would squeeze on board. It'd have to bowdlerize itself from a PG-13 rating to something more PG but the Muppets have never shied away from innuendo. James Cameron would shed a single tear of pure joy.

The Lord of the Rings trilogy (2001-2003)

Animal would obviously be Gollum, that much is obvious. You might think that Kermit would be Frodo, but I think he'd make an even better Gandolf or Aragorn. Walter (from the 2011 reboot) could be Frodo and Fozzy could probably be Samwise. I can just picture Miss Piggy as Arwen on the back of a horse with her long flowing hair as she tries to seduce a somewhat reluctant Aragorn. Dr. Bunen Honeydew and his assistant Beeker could probably pull off Merry and Pippen unless there's a better duo in the Muppet crew.

Animal would chase Walter around shouting, “PRECIOUS! PRECIOUS!” and Fozzy would just watch because he's too afraid to intervene. And Kermit gulps quietly as he stands before the fearsome Balrog (played by Pepe the king prawn) and say something along the lines of “You shouldn't pass here!” holding his staff in the air. It'd be a brief summary of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, but one worth watching.

Citizen Kane (1941)

No filmmaker on earth has the balls to remake what has been called the greatest film of all time. This movie is precious. So, naturally, the Muppets would have to come in and drastically alter the movie in their way. Kermit and Fozzy would once again, take up the role as reporters investigating the tragic life of Charles Foster Kane (portrayed by Gonzo.) We would learn that in his youth, Kane went under the care of banker Walter Thatcher (Sam the Eagle) and spent his vast fortune buying knick-knacks and a coop so he can keep all the sexy chickens he wants. That is until he buys a plumbing business and runs it to the ground because he has no idea how plumbing works.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)

This is the best idea anyone has ever had in the history of mankind. All of creation and millions of years of evolution were all building to this point. We, as people, were meant to make the Rocky Horror Muppet Show a reality.

Dr. Frank N Furter would probably be played by Miss Piggy, but that leaves the role of Janet to Denise- Kermit's new girlfriend in the recent TV series. It's either her or Janice (the guitar playing muppet who hardly ever speaks) or Camilla the chicken and well, she's a chicken. Brad would obviously be Kermit, and through the course of the movie he would leave Janet for Dr. Frank N Furter in a slight deviation from the source material. Clearly, Gonzo would be Riff Raff while Magenta and Columbia would be gender-swapped for Rizzo the rat and Pepe the king prawn. Rolf the dog would probably take Meatloaf's place as Eddy. Animal would be Rocky because he's so crazy. Sam the Eagle would be the criminologist, who introduces the story. Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker would take the Doctor Scott. All of the guests in the lab would be Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem who would play a muppety version of “The Time Warp.” And of course, the Swedish Chef would serve everyone during the dinner scene.

Why hasn't anyone thought of this? It's so obvious. There's no reason this can't be done. Buy the rights, stab Richard O'Brien if you have to. Just get on with it. The world needs to see the Rocky Horror Muppet Show. Make it so, Hollywood.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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