For many of us, avoiding images and stereotypes of the ideal woman is almost impossible. We see them in magazines, on television and basically every other form of media. This frequency then raises the following question: why can’t I be as beautiful, successful or as powerful as that? However, the key word here is “ideal.” A thirty-second commercial or printed advertisement cannot show all of a woman’s flaws or insecurities. Only real life can do that, and real women struggle.
Before you doubt your “real woman” status, let’s reconsider the conventional perceptions and your own realistic goals.
1. A real woman celebrates the other women in her life.
And I’m not just talking birthdays. More often than not, you might have a group of amazing women in your life. A true friend and real woman can celebrate other women’s accomplishments, even if their successes coincide with your struggles. Sometimes you simply win some and you lose them. Of course, it is a bit more challenging to congratulate and praise women whom you are close to when you were both competing toward the same reward. Just as likely, maybe a friend earns a promotion the same week you are feeling frustrated with your own employment.
To me personally, one of the most telling signs of a mature individual is being genuinely happy for someone else instead of first responding with jealousy, even though it’s a natural reaction. No, it isn’t easy. However, neither is life, and real women support and empower one another.
2. A real woman values her body as it truly is.
OK, no amount of self-confidence will guarantee that you love your body as it is for the rest of your life. Yet, once you reach a point in your life, you might start to realize that yours is the only body you will have, and it is beautiful. No matter how much it changes, shrinks or grows, it is uniquely yours. A real woman recognizes her physical beauty even in her flaws because she doesn’t let them define her. Let your stretch marks and wrinkles tell your journey. I’m sure it’s a story worth sharing.
Of course, you will still have bad body days. You know, the days when you look in a mirror and suddenly find only criticism in your reflection. You might wish you were thinner, curvier or more built every other week. However, as long as you remember to focus on the positive features as greatly as you overanalyze the negative ones, you can flaunt it. Just remember that no certain body type defines a real woman.
3. A real woman knows her worth without outside approval.
In addition to physical beauty gained only through self-acceptance, a real woman acknowledges her inner beauty and value without needing another’s acceptance or consent. Sure, sometimes we need positive affirmations from friends and family whenever we might be feeling vulnerable, but a real woman doesn’t need a man or partner’s attention as a tool for measuring her value. She can recognize and rock it on her own.
When the rest of the world demands to see proof of her value or accomplishments, her sense of self is more than enough. Once you start not only thinking but also believing that you don’t have to look and act like all the advertised women, you will realize your individuality is your strength. Be yourself, and be proud of who you are.
4. A real woman knows and goes after what she wants.
Chances are that with every supporter, you will also have at least one naysayer. If you are a woman who doesn’t fit any of the usual molds, especially, you should expect to be cornered or judged occasionally. However, there are few beings more impressive than a woman who knows what she wants and will do everything in her power to get it. In developed and progressive countries at least, the world is literally your oyster. Make the most of all your opportunities because you can achieve anything with perseverance and dedication.
Even when society says she can’t be a businesswoman, when magazines say she can’t be a model and when loved ones say she can’t be herself, a real woman battles on. No matter what the world throws at her, her self-esteem endures. Sure, she will stumble and have to pay her dues. However, I guarantee that whenever she gets back up, she will stand even taller.
