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A 4 A.M. Think Piece

What do we really want?

5
A 4 A.M. Think Piece
The Japan Times

Why do we become so vulnerable and complacent in the face of a person we're drawn to? A person that we are madly infatuated with. We go ahead and drop everything without batting an eyelash and for what? Some bit of interest and recognition?

We beat ourselves up and tell ourselves that we need self-love and that we need to stop trying to find our happiness in others. We tell ourselves this over and over again, yet we continue to drown in self-agony and pity. It all becomes an endless cycle of trying to find who we are while casually seeking validation and worth through people that will never have the answers to all our problems.

We become human broken records that continue to play that crappy tune repeatedly and repeatedly through the night. We gradually get so wrapped up in these routines that before we know it we're trapped with no way out.

Why do we do this? Why do we object ourselves to this self-torment? Because we want some kind of love. We want comfort. We want to feel wanted and needed. We desire human interaction and connection.

And we'll take it from whatever source we can get. We let certain people take advantage of us in our most intimate and fragile moments. All the while, we believe it's okay. It's okay for us because we feel less alone. It has been said that the capacity to love is the capacity to be alone.

Sometimes finding solitude can be great for the mind and soul. However, there can come a point where we become too isolated from the tangible world around us. We begin to feel suffocated as if the windowless walls of our lives are closing in on us. When, at the end of the day, we're all just trying to find our own peace of mind.

Goodnight. Goodnight for now.

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