This election has officially gotten out of control. I yearn for the days when Ted Cruz was mocked for supposedly being the Zodiac Killer...the days when Bernie ate fried chicken with Killer Mike... the days when Ben Carson was.... well, Ben Carson. The glory days, before death threats for social media posts-- before notions of an impending nuclear holocaust, were tangible. Ah, how I pine for those days. With all of this, I've decided that this week we should all take a step back from reality. Let's laugh a little. So here is a list of all of the fictional characters, inanimate objects, and animals I'd rather vote for on November 8th.
1. Mona Lisa Saperstein
Even though "she's the
2. Carl
3. Al Bundy
4. Samantha James, Bitch
5. Caroline
6. Zoltan
7. Toilet Dweller from Spice World
8. Hot Ham Water
9. Jean-Ralphio Saperstein
10. Hand Banana
11. The McPoyles
12. Jesus Quintana
13. The Guys at Animal Control
14. Antonio Banderas Love Doll
15. The Mooninites
Ignignokt and Err would make brilliant leaders......
16. Steve the Roomate, aka Skull Fucker
17. Brandon
18. Artemis
19. My Boyfriend's Bulldog, Travis
20. Nosferatu
21. Tommy Wiseau
...This is actually a real person.
22. Satan (South Park)
23. Doug Wilson
'A way more lovable Trump'...
24. Ferguson (the cat)
JUST LOOK AT HIM
25. Pepper
26. Matheson
27. Norman Bates
28. Shorty
29. Gob Bluth
30. Kenny Powers
31. Damian
32. Leo
33. Raleigh St. Clair
34. Pabst Blue Ribbon
'Making America Great Again Est 1844'...
Really, I'd vote beer in general-- but this is the most 'Merican.
35. Sandor Clegane (the Hound)
36. Fat Amy
37. Montez Walker
