This post is covering week 30.
I have not given up, and I will continue to get back up to speed as quickly as possible. Again, I will be only posting the poetry without a description (unless it's required) due to time constraints. Still, many of the poems I will be posting will be quite depressing. Forgive me for that.
As usual, for those of you who do not know why I am doing this, I will quote my first article here:
“I have realized that a great way to keep sane when you’re busy (especially with very tedious work) is to keep your creativity flowing. So recently, I have decided to start a sort of creative goal for myself. I’m going to write 365 poems. That is one every day without stopping. This is all free form and off the cuff. So if it’s short, long, good, and/or crap, that is up for you to decide.”
Please enjoy.
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May, 1st 2017
203 of 209
Try, Trust, Lie, Love
Try
Just to fail every time
Try
And you fall down a line
Try
Just to fall into a hole
Try
And lose a bit of your soul
Trust
Just to break your heart
Trust
And lose all hope
Trust
And they’ll rip you apart
Trust
Until you can’t cope
Lie
Just to build your tower
Lie
Because it’s in everyone’s power
Lie
To copy everyone else
Lie
You don’t know how to be yourself
Love
You can’t know if you don’t try
Love
Which is not true without trust
Love
Which can’t be based on a lie
Love
Because all we need is…
---
I've been sick recently, this piece represents that sickness and those that take care of me.
May, 2nd 2017
204 of 365
Through the Poison
For a latest development to come on strong
Like a wave of dread coming over me
Maturing so suddenly
The length of this feeling? We don't know how long
We hope we'll turn out just fine
It's been so long since the last time
I've only know health with good longevity
I don't show much humility
Since what's inside is currently out of line
Hopefully this will end soon
I know how different I am to you
You can still get up and walk
I can barely talk
And my reliance on you is now true
Shows me how much you care
Even when I have dirty hair
Even when I haven't changed
Even when I'm suddenly strange
Even when I'm in despair
And you still show manners to me
Thank you for being so funny
Through my current fits
When everything's gone to shit
Believe me when I say you're lovely
I think we'll turn out just fine
---
May, 3rd 2017
205 of 365
When You're the Farthest
The mornings and nights are the hardest
They're the times I can't distract my eyes
With the daily lies I believe on my own
Truthfully ignoring how much I'm alone
My mind is left to its own demise
And trust me when I say that I try
Through the constant expectations of others
I'm supposed to push through without complaints
Confidence pelted like hail in rain
Even from your own mother
Always in search for the next lover
Promises made and never kept
Degrading the trust I thought was important
They don't seem to care anymore than
Those who feel no regret
It doesn't matter if I've wept
The world doesn't give you a free pass
For the thoughts in your mind
For how much you give up your time
When others seem like steel, and you're just glass
---
May, 4th 2017
206 of 365
Importance Out of View
It's been a while
Since I told you I was sorry
For injecting so many miles
Drinking away my worries
I've been so vile
You haven't wanted to see me
I haven't shown my true smile
Or said words I'd believe
I did not mean to hurt you
While I covered my own truth
With all the methods I'd choose
I didn't realize how much I'd lose
To understand what I must do
With importance out of view
I understand the reason
Why you don't lend your hand
But I still want someone to believe in
I'm only human
Like a downward spiral
All the way to end
Yes, it's been a while
O' what that face could mend
To understand what I must do
I didn't realize how much I'd lose
While I covered my own truth
With all the methods I'd choose
I did not mean to hurt you
With importance out of view
---
May, 5th 2017
207 of 365
Equaling Out
Losing all feeling
All hope
All emotion
Leading to ambiguous reason
The past is what it is
The care and love felt
Now in ethereal existence
Nothing is overbearing
Nothing is exciting
Like a flatline
Breaking tradition
For what it means to live
What there is to give
What there is to take
"No" is the silent choice to be made
Since nothing is enticing
Or even repulsive
Leave the decisions to those that know it
Understand what this really means
That no truth can be ascertained
When everything is exactly the same
No sense of direction
No sense of gravity
Transient and translucent
Like being underwater
Fusing into the background
Like a bland color palette
What use to be is presently banal
A forgotten childhood
Leaves holes for apathy
The places where love should be
But it's slow burning
Leaving an orange hue
As embers rise into the sky
Breaking the corners of the thin blue line
If love is the answer to life
Then is this what it means to die?
---
May, 6th 2017
208 of 365
Grow Up
Words I can’t release
Because of these shaking knees
Which plant me in my seat
A blank wall is all I see
Place the blame on everything
You’re smart enough to convince
Even yourself in your lying
The many ways to circumvent
“I know what I’m talking about
I monitor my own mouth
I control how soft, how loud
I know what is happening right now…”
Why do you reiterate yourself?
Why do you stay in the same place?
Why do you push away help
Just to turn around and complain?
You just don’t want to admit
That you don’t know shit
And have over twenty years to show for it
Staring at the wounds you don’t lick
Because you’re “Too old to say sorry”
“Too smart to be wrong”
Living by your own theory
Quickly leaving you gone
Too much pride to be alright
Dead by your own lies
Just like how you feel on the inside
Unjust in the ways of right
WHY DON’T YOU GROW UP THIS TIME
I . . .
---
May, 7th 2017
209 of 365
Give Up
You need to give up more often
Your fixation, just like a coffin
To the unrealistic
And still so pedantic
Blaming others for why you’re sick
When their mind is not where you stick
But the feeling still arises
That need for emotional surprises
In the end you hurt everyone else
In the end you hurt yourself
Ironic that is what happens
When you desperately need help
Because the pain only increases
When serotonin decreases
An inferiority complex
An extremist to vex
Body cashing too many checks
Unending and relentless
You need to give up more often
Your fixation, just like a coffin
Obsessing over every word
When chances reach the third
You never seem to discern
The bridges that you burn
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Thank you so much for reading. Please let me know if you have any feedback, thoughts, or topics for me to write about.
