This post is covering week 26.

I am finally at the half way point of this poetry goal of mine. It’s really been a cathartic experience so far. I must have started on an odd day, because 181 + 181 is obviously not 365. However, I’ll make up for it in due time. I’ll try and finish this collection off with a bang, but don’t hold your breath on that one. The poems I have for you this week are a bit down in the dumps, I apologize for that. I’m going to focus on writing more positive pieces in the coming weeks.

As usual, for those of you who do not know why I am doing this, I will quote my first article here:

“I have realized that a great way to keep sane when you’re busy (especially with very tedious work) is to keep your creativity flowing. So recently, I have decided to start a sort of creative goal for myself. I’m going to write 365 poems. That is one every day without stopping. This is all free form and off the cuff. So if it’s short, long, good, and/or crap, that is up for you to decide.”

Please enjoy.

---

This piece takes a more freestyle tone when it comes to the rhyming. It's basically about how someone can be so full of emotion and lose it due to some event. Probably emotionally traumatic.

April, 3^rd 2017

175 of 365

Indifferent Hell

You haven't said a word all day
Not to anyone, even yourself
Quietly melding into your seat
As the day's lights are clicked off
You did almost nothing but sleep
You feel the weight pressing down
A divot right in the center
An empty sea with no support
Only when dust formulates
From the prolonged absence
Of the one you shared minds with
You decide to see the other side
The ignorance you couldn't get past
That causes the divots in the first place
You burst into a rage
That you're glad no one sees
Because you're immature for your age
Your decisions show this greatly
You haven't said a word all day
Not to anyone, even yourself
You understand the real reasons
Even more than myself
Weathered through all the years
Old trees don't stand forever
Water is only finite
An apathetic stance takes shape
You did almost nothing but sleep
You feel the weight pressing down
No more pain is felt here
No more pleasure is felt here
Ambivalence was more comfortable
Indifference is true hell
Is there a sequence to all this?
I really don't care to tell

---

This piece is a bit complex with its for the why this person is in the state that they are in. A lot can be derived from the final stanza and title. It all depends on which direction you want to take it.
I was trying to take that folk song approach, where they repeat the same line at the end of each stanza. I kind of broke my own rule though.

April, 4^th 2017

176 of 365

Passed

Stuck in this perpetual hell
Of thinking off and on
When you miss the morning bells
And realize half the day's gone
No dream to make it worth it
Thankfully, you'd probably remember

Filling your head with mindless drivel
To deter the past from coming back
Multitasking not double, but triple
For the mind is only internal combat
Not changing your place in the end
Thankfully, you'd probably remember

You wonder around for your next task
But none are left to be found
The friends and family you wish to ask
Are understandably never around
That's fine, fuck seeing their faces again
Thankfully, you'd probably remember

Before you know it, it's deep into the night
With a collection of familiar sensations
Shots of nostalgia shine through the blight
Intoxicating internal relations
Now the covers are over your head again
It's another day that you remember

The picture of the one you cared for
Is creased and quite a sight
Can you move past this remorse?
It was not your personal crime
This photo is what you have left
And this is how you remember

---

This piece is more like a short story told in a poetic form. So it's kind of pretentious... Well.... Whatever! Hopefully it's long enough to justify a bit of enjoyment.

April, 5^th 2017

177 of 365

Hired Gun

I knew the right moment
He was mine,
I could have taken the shot
But I just couldn't
There was something about...
The way everything was
It was too familiar
Too much like home
If I had finished the job
I think my last piece-
What little I have left
Would have died with him
I've done this many times over
I'm not new to this situation
But this problem...
This is new to me
Filled with nostalgia, Ironically
I was brought back to my family
My father who worked his fingers to the bone
As a expert carpenter
He was never paid enough,
Considering the risks overtime
He made toys for me,
When I was a child
I remember each one fondly
I still have the first car he made me
Hmm, like my future dream car
He died not long after I was in my teens
The work caught up with him
My mother was distraught,
But was able to keep us going with his savings
Her part time work (women had it rough back then)
Until I could get a job to fill in Dad's shoes
I worked at that restaurant for years
Never changing positions,
Living paycheck to paycheck...
Why did all of this come up?
I really don't know.
Maybe it's my work catching up to me
Who knows
But I do know that this is my last time
As a hired gun
This one...
I just can't do it anymore
He was just too much like him

---

This piece is pretty much about surviving victims of war who contract PTSD. An the more overall affects that war can have on you, to my inept knowledge of the subject anyway.

April, 6^th 2017

178 of 365

The Veterans

Moments where the shell casings fall past
Create memories that were forced to last
The root of the cause is out of control
Orders given ringing subtlety dictatorial
Hours go on to days and weeks
Eagles still fly with broken beaks
This place called death as it's desire
Sending even more like fuel on a fire
No songs are sung for the fallen
You'd surely turn back with prior knowledge
Tricked into reality not hitting us sooner
"I shouldn't have quit when I was a junior"
Is a phrase we hear from the 'fodder'
The term we use for the front of the slaughter
Your views change when your destined to fall
It's not one against one, it's one against all
This wasteland resembles a giant coffin
It's so ridiculous that you start laughing
Grotesque images inciting retch
Days go by and you still smell the stench
I no longer remember who I was
Or how to smile, or the feeling of love
When you finally go back home
You don't recognize the family you've known
Because moments where the shell casings fall past
Create memories that were forced to last

---

This is a piece purposefully told ambiguously. More of that Bon Iver approach I seem to garner a lot of inspiration from. In my eyes, this piece is what happens when you don't let someone blossom into who they should be. This is the downfall of someone when you hold them back.

April, 7^th 2017

179 of 365

They're Being Used

It's not advantageous
Locking birds in cages
Feelings unabated
Confessions overstated

Infectiously solitary
Desiring the contrary
When minds marry
It can be extraordinary

Crutches for the soul
Rivers that run gold
Hear them whispering low
Catching them with ropes

When Internal lies
Deceive the eyes
Those unabated cries
See what's inside

Climbing up stairs
In blanked pairs
Only splitting hairs
Only splitting hairs

Confessions overstated
Rightfully separated
Truthfully isolated
Socially desolated

Keeping it prolonged
Not seeing any wrong
Punished for so long
For a personal song

Crutches for the soul
Rivers that run gold
Hear them whispering low
Catching them with ropes

Leading them astray
Words just can't relay
The unbridled dismay
Of colors turning grey

---

April, 8^th 2017

180 of 365

Idle

I want to help, but there's nothing I can do
I can only stand by while the suffering chews
I wish I could trade my health with you
But the world doesn't work the way I want it to
I understand the point of view you're taking
But I can never know the feelings of your pain
This dichotomy is only complicating
The future I thought was in the making
Love can only take you so far
Much less give you what you needed from the start
Like walking through a pit of tar
Is the admittance that we must depart
Struggling to watch the days go by
Time only proves to be a lie
As the symptoms continue to pry
It's obvious that you're going to...

I want to help, but there's nothing I can do
I can only stand by while the suffering chews
I wish I could trade my health with you
But the world doesn't work the way I want it to

---

I figured I should write more positively, so I decided to write about a great girl.

April, 9^th 2017

181 of 365

And You Were There

Like a beautiful maiden in plain sight
No one else sees this spectacle
Blind to their own biases, that's right
Never seeing what makes you incredible

You see the good in so many things
Bolstering your personality
Lines from you have a quotable ring
"Trust me, you're no banality."

The contrivance is what makes it cute
Since your energy is so in line
To feel negative around you is obtuse
You truly know how to spend time

Even the most unremarkable days
Turn out to be memorable ventures
Always with the right cards at play
Never giving up for surrender

You mesmerize with your intellect
More than the figure that you own
A day without you would be a regret
Trust me when I say I know

Like a beautiful maiden in plain sight
No one else sees this spectacle
Blind to their own biases, that's right
Never seeing what makes you incredible

---

Thank you so much for reading. Please let me know if you have any feedback, thoughts, or topics for me to write about.