Finally on week 20. Time sure is flying by. I had to write 3 essays for college this week as well, so one can say I’m quite burnt out on writing for a short period. I’ll get my writing chops back together in a couple of days, for sure. That would defeat the purpose of this goal if I stopped!
As usual, for those of you who do not know why I am doing this, I will quote my first article here:
“I have realized that a great way to keep sane when you’re busy (especially with very tedious work) is to keep your creativity flowing. So recently, I have decided to start a sort of creative goal for myself. I’m going to write 365 poems. That is one every day without stopping. This is all free form and off the cuff. So if it’s short, long, good, and/or crap, that is up for you to decide.”
Please enjoy.
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No matter what happens during the time you know someone, life still moves on. Life doesn't wait for you to pout and mope about your own consistent mistakes and selfishness.
February, 20th 2017
133 of 365
Hold On Or Let Go
Through the basics of principle
Prediction is inevitable
Life goes on ever so
Not deserving their thoughts anymore
Because I betrayed their trust
With my envy and lust
All of the promises and plans
Turned around after those demands
Through the basics of principle
Prediction is inevitable
Those tears were left in vain
We both made those stains
Lost in my world again
With every dream paper thin
The move was more than enough
To push us into a rut
Our time really was a bluff
We thought we could be tough
I can't seem to get past the hopes
I can't seem to get past the promises
I can't seem to get past the dedication
I can't seem to get past the love
I've always been alone in this
Because my mind is my weakness
I'll hold on to myself this time
As long as you can put up with mine
The park was hot that day
When we first dreamed away
Whenever I visit it
It's turned cold in respite
Memories are memories
Only as far as the mind carries
Those tears were left in vain
We both made those stains
Life goes on ever so
Whether I hold on or let go
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This is a piece about unrequited love. Now whether you consider it creepy or tragic, depends on you and your life experience.
February, 21st 2017
134 of 365
Your Radiant Presence
From the first moment I looked at you
I thought you were beautiful
The girl I thought I'd never speak to
Who dropped right into my life
It was completely unrequited
But your presence was just enough
Talk about out of my league
I think you knew that from the start
But I still tried my hardest, I can say that
I never had a chance, and can't face it
I remember the poem where I completely
And utterly expressed my feelings
No opportunities were ever missed
You made it clear that there was no chance
I can't help my feelings of romance
Just take another path I'm not on
Because I'll hurt what we have someday
Your choice to ignore my contact
Was the best choice you ever made
I still feel the same way I did the first day
Your radiant beauty shone as bright as the sun
Your presence was just enough for my love
---
This piece can be interpreted as a nod to assassins and the like who suffer from PTSD and paranoia based anxiety.
February, 22nd 2017
135 of 365
Following Wicked Footsteps
Loss of my own will
As time moves ever still
Just wait, just wait until
A moment relative to a shrill
The cold night keeps coming
A speed faster than any running
Choices so ever reaching
Left myself in the hall sleeping
Anxiety strickens me
My stains clothe me
My eyes show me
The past completely
The body in the other room
Delegates the lights of doom
Darkness illuminates in red and blue
And that coldness is coming soon
Just wait, just wait for now
Judgement can't be passed down
Because the job's don't allow
The opinions of the crowds
Anxiety strickens me
My stains clothe me
My eyes show me
The past completely
---
This piece focuses on the feeling of blaming others, but deep down you know you made the mistakes, and there's no getting past it.
February, 23rd 2017
136 of 365
It's Always Me
Hating my own mind
For overthinking other's lives
Are they in need?
Is it my help they heed?
That may just be my ego
Thinking I could give my say so
Never waiting for their contact
Always in need of someone to interact
Why can't I just see
That you never wanted to talk to me?
Its my complete naïveté
On that we both agree
Hating my own mind
For overthinking other's lives
Are they interested in me?
Do they see my creativity?
I'm really fishing for compliments
When the implication's in descent
Genuine care is impossible to find
Not without coercion or a bribe
My motivation is in dismay
My selfishness always gets in the way
I can't shift the blame
Since my methods are always the same
Yeah, my selfishness always gets in the way
---
They say that if you truly love them you'll leave them. Some people feel like they do not deserve who they love, and will leave them knowing that they are more trouble for the one they love than they are worth. This piece is focused on something like that.
February, 24th 2017
137 of 365
A Slack Rope
I'm just hanging on
Onto a rope that was slack
I can feel the tension
And it's ready to snap
Like a man on a tightrope
Who is inexperienced
Ill advised in everything
Disappointing his descendants
I just left it alone
I left my home for good
Because she was there
No descent man could
Ever, ever turn back
Look into my eyes again
That moment was filled
With passion and sin
You knew the right answer
The silence was enough
I could hear the sounds
Of breaking your love
Because you know the truth
And how I couldn't face it
Someday you'll really know
I actually gave a shit
---
Sometimes people want to remember their own past, or completely forget anything ever happened. When you live in the truth, it can really mess up your brain when others act like their past never happened at all. Never owning up to, or admitting to anything. Or ignoring the good times due to a grudge. The present always trumps the past. This piece takes a more self loathing approach to this topic.
February, 25th 2017
138 of 365
Unrequited Memories
Is it really so easy to forget
The times that we both cherished
The moments full of love
The times I couldn't give up
Or maybe I'm the only one
Who values what's said and done
Because they always run astray
Or maybe.... I'm pushing them away
I still hold onto those times
Because I have that kind of mind
You should be happy to forget me
Rather than remembering everything
Memories are great memos
Sounds and smells exchange hellos
Reminiscing on that trail
Words I should have said outside mail
That moment we knew that random song
Or that hug that lingered on
Or that dance I spectacularly failed
Or when you taught me pooling details
Or maybe I'm the only one
Who values what's said and done
Because they always run astray
Or maybe.... I'm pushing them away
Yeah, I'm just pushing them away...
---
Recently, I've gotten very interested in an older video game called "Dark Souls." The ambiguous style of telling its story, its poetic writing style, decrepit subject matter, and engulfing atmosphere fascinates me. I find the lore and ideas in this story to be quite inspiring and intriguing. This poem is basically a tribute to that game series. If you know about these games, you'll see a lot of terminology of the game used in this piece.
February, 26th 2017
139 of 365
Hollowing
I can't defer any infamy
And my force is waning
My soul I'm constantly shaming
Maybe I've lost my sanity
I cannot seem to rest
Waking with this circular crest
Crafting my urges, like alchemy
Molding them into a right
That's easily brought blight
Cutting deeper into blasphemy
With varying degrees of hope
Lost in a thick kindling smoke
Which can be revived infinitely
Pressing forth again and again
Only stepping stones to my sins
Because I'm lost in this eternity
Just an illusion's face in the dark
With only one way to master this art
The philosophy of humanity
Lost to the cursed hollowing
A path I'll forever be following
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Thank you so much for reading. Please let me know if you have any feedback, thoughts, or topics for me to write about.