This post is actually a bit late. I missed two weeks and fell behind on writing my poetry due to a lot of complications over the holidays, both good and bad. I am slowly catching up though, please forgive the misplaced pacing of my work this time. This is both week 11, 12, and 13 put together (and I’m still missing a few, which I will cover next week).

As usual, for those of you who do not know why I am doing this, I will quote my first article here:

“I have realized that a great way to keep sane when you’re busy (especially with very tedious work) is to keep your creativity flowing. So recently, I have decided to start a sort of creative goal for myself. I’m going to write 365 poems. That is one every day without stopping. This is all free form and off the cuff. So if it’s short, long, good, and/or crap, that is up for you to decide.”

Please enjoy.

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When something really is over, it’s best to not stick around. Don’t make that mistake, because it only causes pain on both sides.

December 19^th, 2016

70 of 365

Past the Deadline

You don’t understand what I was feeling
It’s definitely not the same
You wouldn’t have ignored my heeding
If we were on the same page
You’ve changed since I last saw you
Why are you so far away?
Cold reality to the truth
I can’t accept this kind of pain
You won’t tell me what you really think
Even when you say you do
Easily changing a chain link
Unconsciously saying we’re through
We should have taken that first chance
It’s been way past the deadline
I finally stopped my second glance
You probably wanted it this whole time

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No matter how much you want your past to be the way it used to be, sometimes that can never be the case. Cherish your memories and move on. Sometimes objectively looking at something really shows that the current actions are the best.

December 20^th, 2016

71 of 365

Nothing Goes in Reverse

Just telling me what I want to hear
With words that sounded so sincere
That’s always been the case
Retrospect shows how commonplace
The form you’ve taken was mistaken
And I believed it for every second
Honestly, I still do
Why would I still be near you?
I don’t ever want to believe the truth
Ahh, the trials of fucking youth
Why couldn’t we see this at first?
You were desperate, I was much worse
We used each other till it didn’t work
You got nothing you deserve
Dropped out and left in the dirt
I have lost all of my worth
Nothing goes in reverse
Just tell me what I want to hear
For anything else confirms my fears

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Creativity really is an amazing thing. This poem explains how I feel about it, but it’s something can always go to at any time, even if you have no way to record it. There’s always your imagination, and no one can take that from you. Create and revile in your satisfaction of it. It’s a unique feeling that nothing else can create.You don't even have to create for anyone, it can just be for yourself. That's the main point of this poem, just create, even if it's only for you.

December 21^st, 2016

72 of 365

Your Eyes Can Be the Only Ones

Creativity is an amazing thing
It can’t betray you or hurt you
Leave you when you need it
Judge you for your beliefs
It’s unconditional acceptance
If you let it
No hesitation or reluctance
Or regret
If you think otherwise
That’s fear internalized
“Am I good enough for this?“
“Will others abhor this?”
Just stop right there and realize
Why create for another’s eyes?
The characterized doubt
For a maximized crowd
You’ve limited your creations
To someone’s expectations
It’s unconditional acceptance
If you let it
No hesitation or reluctance
Or regret
It fills your soul
One of life’s goals
Explains unexplained
Brings back someone’s remains
Reaches otherworldly highs
Just stop right there and realize
Why create for another’s eyes?
When they only criticize
And stop you from your prize
Write on into the night
And realize that your eyes can be the only ones

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Sometimes it happens, you are reminded of someone from your past, and there's nothing you can do except go through the motions.

December 22^nd, 2016

73 of 365

Something of Theirs

When you think you're done and over it
You see a sliver of something of theirs
A car, a painting, their food, a friend
It all comes rushing back to you again
You can never seem to leave it and yet
You always fall straight in when you can leave
They're nothing you need but still want
You still have them in your fucking mind
Listening to their song just for you
Hoping that they're also doing the same
You know deep down that's never the case
Lost in the past again with feelings of regret
You can never seem to leave it and yet
You always fall straight in when you can leave
They're on their own path without you
And happy to leave you all alone
They're moving on towards their future
You're stuck in a world of your own
They think it's for the best for you
And you let them think that for their sake
The truth is without them, you can even eat
You can't even sleep, you can't even dream
You can't even move, you can't even think
But you let them think that for their sake
Because it's something you can carry
At least, that's what you let yourself think
You can never seem to leave it and yet
You always fall straight in when you can leave
They're nothing you need but still want
You still have them in your fucking mind

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Time doesn't ever seem to move fast enough when you're making an important decisions. It's as if you're made to think on it whether you like it or not. Is it worth it? You never know what the future holds.

December 23^rd, 2016

74 of 365

Time That Sits Still

7:28, and the clock is sitting still
Every other time it's moving fast
Like a cup waiting for its fill
To spill the good times that don't last

Presented with an opportunity
For most wouldn't be so keen
Questions that relate to conformity
All pointing to something you don't need

I can't believe the place you want me
I've denied those chances of regret
But this whole time my vision was foggy
Because I'm still here with feelings I beset

Honesty is seldom found
Just because it is what I want
You say those lies when I'm around
Never realizing how much they haunt

7:28, and the clock is sitting still
To say those words I should have said
Long before you lost your goodwill
I'll finally be released from this life of dread

I've accepted myself again

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A friend of mine tasked me to write a poem about Man vs. Himself. Now, I imagine something quite philosophical and unique could be written about this subject, but I decided to tackle it with a modern approach to personal personal independence of the wrong kind. Which in the end, backfires. Some people who live the “YOLO” lifestyle end up having it bite them in the end.

December 24^th, 2016

75 of 365

YOLO

Continuing onto the path I made
I was going against everything he laid
His ideal were all wrong
I live my way, I write my own song
I take my own classes
That’s if I want to, I don’t kiss asses
I work my own job
My schedule is my own, I’m not a snob
This is my life, I know what’s right
I go by my rules, I’m not uptight
I make my own path, my own math
I’ll show them wrath upon their epitaph
“Where do you see yourself in ten years?”
Who cares when I can party with my peers?
But those years flicker on by
Like an F1 across the finish line
All those words he said in the past?
All those classes I failed to pass?
All those “friends” that didn’t last?
All those enemies that I’ve amassed?
I realize now I wasn’t building a path
I’ve created a foundation made of glass
Defying anything I considered crass
Anything against my ego’s mass
I could have been somebody
I could have been somebody

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Since it is Christmas, I decided to write a simple poem based on the holiday. I know there are probably a million in existence already, but it is here anyway.

December 25^th, 2016

76 of 365

Holiday Comfort

The snowflakes fall and give us a chill
The uniqueness of each one gives us a thrill!
Just like Christmas time, with moments that stand still
With love of your family that's easy to fill

Traditions abound from many different places
All culminate with smiles on their faces
No matter the culture or all of the races
We all share and accept positive graces

We all want presents but don’t get to greedy
Family is the real reason why we are needy
The evening is the right time for the feeding
Seeing so many friends I’ve been missing

The snowflakes fall and give us a chill
The uniqueness of each one gives us a thrill!
Just like Christmas time, with moments that stand still
With love of your family that's easy to fill

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This poem is based on how some people can change for a short amount of time, which could be due to a powerful event or something along those lines, and then revert back to the way they were. It’s kind of a pessimistic view on how people always go back to their “origination.” It’s not like that for everyone, but it is most definitely true in some.

December 26^th, 2016

77 of 365

Revolving Origination

Unexpected feelings
Go back on what they say
Believe in your words
For a single day
Relentless in feeling
Contradicting ways
Believe in yourself
For a single day
Always back to it
For better or for worse
Losing your true self
Origination is your thirst
Telling who you are
A persona comes fourth
Uncannily the star
With a burnt out torch
Alone with your façade
Just like you imagined
Trust me that god
Will only be saddened
By your agreeing nod
To every reaction
And how much you’re not
Changing your actions
Love not yourself
More than others
Do not succumb
To what the ego mutters
Bringing on hell
Making those shudder
Firstly and only numb
To your moody stutters

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People can be quite ignorant of how unique cultures can be. There are so many things that we do in our society that we consider common that we do not realize that even something as simple as a thumbs up can actually be offensive (for instance, it is equivalent to the middle finger in Russia). So learning the customs of a culture to a country you’re visiting (or moving to) is very important. You don’t want to unintentionally offend people! I must say though, this poem does not go into too much depth of different cultures. I should do something like that one of these days.

December 27^th, 2016

78 of 365

Learning of Culture

Rock solid on this foundation of dirt
Learning the customs of the people I hurt
The way they wear their shirts, or the way they flirt
Because culture changes the way our brains work

I'm even lost in my own abstrusity
So much so my mind needs peace
Two sides of a coin can't agree
When they're presented with dichotomy

If you can't view with an open mind
At least leave them to their own demise
Whichever decision you get behind
Both hold truths and simple lies

Impossible to generalize
Sit back and realize
We all fantasize
But very much a different kind

Rock solid on this foundation of dirt
Learning the customs of the people I hurt
The way they wear their shirts, or the way they flirt
Because culture changes the way our brains work

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Sometimes you can rely on your friends too much, and almost take them for granted. It can be a bit hurtful. Or you may go back to “friends” who were hurtful to you because you were lonely. Life’s emotions are so complicated, it can actually be disheartening. It makes you do hypocritical things. However, the true friends make it all worth it. True friends can make a difficult life a little bit easier, but remember, they’re people too with emotions and feelings. Don't get too absorbed into yourself all the time.

December 28^th, 2016

79 of 365

Words of a Hypocrite

Inside of me I feel a bit of regret
The kind I get from knowing something is right
But doing the exact opposite
Against the word I so adamantly adhered to
But turned around and became a hypocrite
What is there to believe when you can’t believe yourself?
Almost every day I can’t believe myself
Why would I procrastinate?
Why would I judge and hate?
Why would I not be myself?
Why would I ignore everyone’s constant help?
I know I’m a better person than this,
But I feel a bit of regret
Putting everyone through my mess
I’m sorry and I thank you
You put up with something when you don’t have to
Again, I’m sorry and I thank you
Even if I don’t say it, I know your feelings are true
I hope these words of a hypocrite
Mean anything to someone who’s been there
You definitely mean something to me
That’s why you’re still here
Remember, that’s why you’re still here

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I was given a mental image, by a friend of mind, to write about with this poem. I was told to write with “Lily pads on a few inches of cool, clear water as far as the eye can see” in mind. So I took that and this is what came out (Not exactly the challenge, but close enough),

December 29^th, 2016

80 of 365

Silent Nostalgia

A kind of marsh, swamp area
With lilies that go on forever
There’s a frog here and there
Bellowing right on que
As the sky reaches its twilight
The dusk has just past
Crickets orchestrate themselves
With the skies of orange and red
Droplets gleaming off the pads
Glistening off the twilight
The frogs then jump away
Their ripples cause a view
A chaotic yearning for home
A beautiful night, for sure
The fireflies illuminate
Where the twilight left off
I feel the breeze on the water
A silent nostalgia swept me
The coolness on my cheek
The green flickering on green
Gave me something I’ve missed
A strong yearning for home

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I just watched the film “Twelve Monkey’s” for the first time, and it’s definitely a unique film. Despite it mostly being about mental illness, the dystopian aspect of the film was an idea that caught me. I started thinking about other barren and dystopian films like “A Boy and His Dog,” and “Dark City.” I decided to write about a barren world where there’s only one person, and only at the last moment was there another. Tragic, really.

December 30^th, 2016

81 of 365

Dystopian and Barren

From a world so full and vibrant
Now left in the wake of despair
When left in control to someone who doesn't care
When every course of action is violent
Just another step towards totality
When you're the only one left to rule
Keeping the numbers down for the fools
Depleting all known vitality
But I'm bewildered in my sight
All of the stars are still out there
Weighing a single planet's share
Doesn't compare to a universes plight
I just might be the last one left
You made it easy in a world of nothing
Consumed by the greed, and guilt of shoving
Because your spot was achieved through theft
My last breath was taken alone
In a world dystopian made
Just when I've been laid
You disturbed my ground of stone
How sad for all that could have been
When loneliness sets in don't cry to me
Since your duo has been split so happily
Since this world has been deserted when?

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This one comes right before New Year’s because of the structure of the poem. My friend reminded me that I should make one about New Years, so I did. I find the structure of this one to be experimental and unique. I quite like the outcome. It’s like a countdown disguised as a New Year’s resolution.

December 31^st, 2016

82 of 365

The Countdown to the New Year

2016

It’s the end and the countdown is starting

10
Remember all of those times we spent together?
All of the good and the bad, the beginnings and endings?
Bittersweet seems to be the main memory

9
All of that amazing food from Christmas and Thanksgiving
I’m still digesting most of it after all
This year will definitely involve the gym, I know that

8
I should have said more to my family
My mother doesn’t deserve that kind of treatment
She still loves me, I never stopped loving her

7
My best friends are so crazy when we’re together
Like that night we went to all the bars in town?
A lot of truths we spilled that day (At least I think so…)

6
I love my dog who’s lived here for so long
I remember her whenever it’s dinner time
She lived a wondrous and loud life

5
So much work in my classes this three semesters
I never took a break, and worked as hard as I could
I should have studied harder than I really did

4
I had a falling out with a really good friend of mine
It was sudden and difficult to understand
I wonder if that can be rectified?

3
I feel like I’m losing my passion for something I loved
The motivation is lacking where it once was not
I’m trying my hardest to get it back

2
I’m so hard on myself, I know it’s not healthy
I see goals and break them down before achieving them
I end good things before they even start

1
I shouldn’t have cause the people I love so much stress
I want to make this new year a happier one
And make everyone I love happier along the way

Happy New Year!!

2017

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I was thinking about one of my favorite films, Unbreakable. One of the main characters in that film suffers from osteogenesis imperfecta, also known as brittle bone disease. This is a complicated disease brought on by genetic mutations that can cause bones to be brittle for the individual inflicted with it, among other things. In the film, the character in question has a severe case of this disease. I decided to write my own take of someone with that disease, and this was the result.

January, 1^st 2017

83 of 365

Osteogenesis imperfecta

The world is spinning way too fast
With bones as brittle as glass
Can't keep up with their acts
I'd still join in on a laugh
But let them have their own fun
I'll watch, and imagine some
Since my accident has made me shunned
Couldn't Mom trade me in for a refund?
I'm such a burden with this illness
I never asked for this mundane stillness
Even standing fractures my brittleness
I hear every crack in frank shrillness
I live in books since I've learned how to read
My imagination has always been my safety
Even when my life feels so empty
I can always appreciate creative reverie
But such a short life... With what is my purpose?
Should I write a book on life's curses?
Should I shed some light through poetic verses?
About how I got over my mind's envious coerces?
The fact I am alive is meaning in itself
Worrying what isn't obvious shouldn't be my pretentious hell
That spark of life is my wealth, even in my health
It's Irony in how even I appreciate myself

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Thank you so much for reading. Please let me know if you have any feedback, thoughts, or topics for me to write about.