Recommended for you

Start writing a post

Entertainment

36 Pick-Up Lines Guaranteed Not To Get The Girl

If you were a fruit, you'd be a fine-apple.

Kimberly Burton

Jan 23, 2017

National Writers Society

1255

36 Pick-Up Lines Guaranteed Not To Get The Girl

Keller Law Offices

Here's advice on how to not be labeled "that guy:" don't use any of these. Ever.

1. If you were a fruit, you'd be a fine-apple.

2. Tonight this Han doesn’t want to fly Solo.

3. I'm not sure what quidditch position you play, but I bet you're a keeper.

4. You are hotter than the bottom of my laptop.

5. From one to America, how free are you tonight?

6. It's handy that I have my library card because I'm totally checking you out.

7. Did you invent the airplane? Cause you seem Wright for me.

8. If I had to rate you from 1-10, I would rate you a 9 because I'm the one you're missing.

9. Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes.

10. If Internet Explorer is brave enough to ask you to be your default browser, I’m brave enough to ask you out!

11. Hey, girl, are you my appendix? Because you give this weird feeling that makes me want to take you out.

12. Do you have a Band-Aid? 'Cause I scraped my knee falling for you.

13. There are people who say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Apparently, none of them have ever been in your arms.

14. Remember me? Oh, that’s right, I’ve met you only in my dreams.

15. If you were a Transformer, you'd be Optimus Fine.

16. Are you religious? Because you're the answer to my prayers.

17. Do you live in a corn field? 'Cause I'm stalking you.

18. Was your mother a beaver? Because damn!

19. Does your left eye hurt? Because you've been looking right all day.

20. Hey, girl. Is your name Wi-Fi? Because we have a connection.

21. My doctor told me I'm missing vitamin U. Can you help me?

22. If you were a vegetable, you'd be a cute-cumber.

23. Is your name Google? Because you're the answer to everything I've been searching for

24. I'm not a photographer but I can picture us together.

25. Are you German? 'Cause I wanna be Ger-man!

26. Excuse me. I think you have something in your eye. Nope; it’s just a sparkle.

27. Charmanders are red, mudkips are blue, is you were a pokemon, I would choose you.

28. Do you work at Starbucks? Because I like you a latte.

29. Hey, tie your shoes! I don’t want you falling for anyone else.

30. Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got fine written all over you.

31. Go on; feel my jacket. It's made of boyfriend material.

32. If you were a chicken, you would be impeccable.

33. What's your favorite silverware? Because I like to spoon.

34. I'm not staring at your boobs. I'm staring at your heart.

35. Was your dad a boxer? Cause you're a knockout!

36. I will stop loving you when an apple grows from a mango tree on the 30th of February.

If you ever tried to use any of these, I'd like to ask if you're a red light... because you need to stop.

Report this Content

This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Student Life

A Few Thoughts Every College Freshman Has

The transition into adulthood is never easy

Dubuque, IA

8420

Courtney Jones

Today I started my third week of college at Minnesota State Moorhead. I have survived welcome week, finding my classes on the first day, and being an awkward loner in the dining hall. Even though I have yet to be here for a month, I have already experienced many thoughts and problems that only a new college student can relate to.

Keep Reading...Show less

freshman

Student Life

8 Easy Ways to Get Involved in College

It's easier than you think.

Kansas State University

7646

"Make sure to get involved when you're in college!"

We've all heard some variation of this phrase, whether it came from parents, other family members, friends, RAs, or college-related articles. And, like many clichés, it's true for the most part. Getting involved during your college years can help you make friends, build your resume, and feel connected to your campus. However, these commitments can get stressful if you're dealing with personal issues, need to work, or aren't sure how to balance classes and everything else going on during the semester.

Keep Reading...Show less

college

Relationships

9 Reasons Why Friends Are Essential In College

College without friends is like peanut butter without jelly.

Widener University

3770

Bridgaline Liberati

In college, one of the essential things to have is friends. Yes, textbooks, a laptop, and other school supplies are important but friends are essential. Friends are that support system everybody needs. The more friends you have the better the support system you have. But you also have someone to share experiences with. And don’t settle for just one or two friends because 8 out of 10 times they are busy and you are studying all alone. Or they have other friend groups that do not include you. Don’t settle for just one or two friends; make as many friends as you can. After the first couple of weeks of college, most friend groups are set and you may be without friends.

Keep Reading...Show less

friends

Lifestyle

The Power of Dressing Up

Why it pays to leave the hoodie at home.

College of Staten Island

2755

Sister | Brother Style - Word Press

For a moment your world is spinning. The phone alarm has just scared you awake and you’re flooded by daunting thoughts of the day ahead. You have three assignments due and little time to work on them because of your job. You’re running late because you’ve hit snooze one to many times after yesterday’s long hours. You dizzily reach for a hoodie, craving its comfort, and rush for a speedy exit, praying you will have time to pick up coffee. Does this sound familiar?

Keep Reading...Show less

dress up

Entertainment

11 Signs You Live At The Library As Told by 'Parks And Recreation'

A few signs that you may live in the library whether you'd like to admit it or not.

College of Charleston

2502

Photo by Mariia Zakatiura on Unsplash

Finals week is upon us. It is a magical time of year during which college students everywhere flock to the library in attempt to learn a semester's worth of knowledge in only a week. For some students, it's their first time in the library all semester, maybe ever. Others have slaved away many nights under the fluorescent lights, and are slightly annoyed to find their study space being invaded by amateurs. While these newbies wander aimlessly around the first floor, hopelessly trying to find a table, the OGs of the library are already on the third floor long tables deep into their studies. Here is a few signs that you may live in the library, whether you'd like to admit it or not.

Keep Reading...Show less

library

Recommended for you

36 Pick-Up Lines Guaranteed Not To Get The Girl

If you were a fruit, you'd be a fine-apple.

1. If you were a fruit, you'd be a fine-apple.

2. Tonight this Han doesn’t want to fly Solo.

3. I'm not sure what quidditch position you play, but I bet you're a keeper.

4. You are hotter than the bottom of my laptop.

5. From one to America, how free are you tonight?

6. It's handy that I have my library card because I'm totally checking you out.

7. Did you invent the airplane? Cause you seem Wright for me.

8. If I had to rate you from 1-10, I would rate you a 9 because I'm the one you're missing.

9. Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes.

10. If Internet Explorer is brave enough to ask you to be your default browser, I’m brave enough to ask you out!

11. Hey, girl, are you my appendix? Because you give this weird feeling that makes me want to take you out.

12. Do you have a Band-Aid? 'Cause I scraped my knee falling for you.

13. There are people who say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Apparently, none of them have ever been in your arms.

14. Remember me? Oh, that’s right, I’ve met you only in my dreams.

15. If you were a Transformer, you'd be Optimus Fine.

16. Are you religious? Because you're the answer to my prayers.

17. Do you live in a corn field? 'Cause I'm stalking you.

18. Was your mother a beaver? Because damn!

19. Does your left eye hurt? Because you've been looking right all day.

20. Hey, girl. Is your name Wi-Fi? Because we have a connection.

21. My doctor told me I'm missing vitamin U. Can you help me?

22. If you were a vegetable, you'd be a cute-cumber.

23. Is your name Google? Because you're the answer to everything I've been searching for

24. I'm not a photographer but I can picture us together.

25. Are you German? 'Cause I wanna be Ger-man!

26. Excuse me. I think you have something in your eye. Nope; it’s just a sparkle.

27. Charmanders are red, mudkips are blue, is you were a pokemon, I would choose you.

28. Do you work at Starbucks? Because I like you a latte.

29. Hey, tie your shoes! I don’t want you falling for anyone else.

30. Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got fine written all over you.

31. Go on; feel my jacket. It's made of boyfriend material.

32. If you were a chicken, you would be impeccable.

33. What's your favorite silverware? Because I like to spoon.

34. I'm not staring at your boobs. I'm staring at your heart.

35. Was your dad a boxer? Cause you're a knockout!

36. I will stop loving you when an apple grows from a mango tree on the 30th of February.

Subscribe to our Newsletter

The transition into adulthood is never easy

1. "Unlimited Freedom!"

2. "Dorm Life!"

3. "Never mind, where is my apartment?"

4. "Whose idea was this 8 AM?"

5. I'm so looking forward to that nap."

6. "I don't have the brain capacity for this"

7. "Wow, college is great"

It's easier than you think.

1. Look into Housing and Dining.

2. Pay attention to campus postings.

3. Find common interest groups.

4. Join an intramural sports team.

5. Work on a cause that you care about.

6. Join a club related to your major.

7. Get an on-campus job.

8. Volunteer.

College without friends is like peanut butter without jelly.

1. You need people to hang out with.

2. You don’t want to be stuck alone eating lunch or dinner.

3. Weekends suck without anyone to share them with.

4. College will be miserable for you.

5. Finding a roommate for the following year will be impossible.

6. You need someone to talk to about personal stuff or homework that isn’t your mom.

7. Classes will be boring and quiet for you if you don’t know anyone.

8. Walking around campus is just awkward.

9. Homework help and study buddies do not exist.

Why it pays to leave the hoodie at home.

1. Comfort

2. Confidence

3. Surprises

4. Self Esteem

A few signs that you may live in the library whether you'd like to admit it or not.

1. You dress for the temperature of the library, not the weather outside.

2. You say hello to the security guard when he or she walks by.

3. The employees at Starbucks know your name and order.

4. You eat all your meals at a library cubby, not at your own house.

5. You take the quiet floors very seriously.

6. Any night you are not at the library is a special occasion.

7. You have shown up to the library hungover on more than one occasion.

Subscribe to our
Newsletter