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36 Pick-Up Lines Guaranteed Not To Get The Girl

If you were a fruit, you'd be a fine-apple.

Kimberly Burton

Jan 23, 2017

National Writers Society

1253

36 Pick-Up Lines Guaranteed Not To Get The Girl

Keller Law Offices

Here's advice on how to not be labeled "that guy:" don't use any of these. Ever.

1. If you were a fruit, you'd be a fine-apple.

2. Tonight this Han doesn’t want to fly Solo.

3. I'm not sure what quidditch position you play, but I bet you're a keeper.

4. You are hotter than the bottom of my laptop.

5. From one to America, how free are you tonight?

6. It's handy that I have my library card because I'm totally checking you out.

7. Did you invent the airplane? Cause you seem Wright for me.

8. If I had to rate you from 1-10, I would rate you a 9 because I'm the one you're missing.

9. Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes.

10. If Internet Explorer is brave enough to ask you to be your default browser, I’m brave enough to ask you out!

11. Hey, girl, are you my appendix? Because you give this weird feeling that makes me want to take you out.

12. Do you have a Band-Aid? 'Cause I scraped my knee falling for you.

13. There are people who say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Apparently, none of them have ever been in your arms.

14. Remember me? Oh, that’s right, I’ve met you only in my dreams.

15. If you were a Transformer, you'd be Optimus Fine.

16. Are you religious? Because you're the answer to my prayers.

17. Do you live in a corn field? 'Cause I'm stalking you.

18. Was your mother a beaver? Because damn!

19. Does your left eye hurt? Because you've been looking right all day.

20. Hey, girl. Is your name Wi-Fi? Because we have a connection.

21. My doctor told me I'm missing vitamin U. Can you help me?

22. If you were a vegetable, you'd be a cute-cumber.

23. Is your name Google? Because you're the answer to everything I've been searching for

24. I'm not a photographer but I can picture us together.

25. Are you German? 'Cause I wanna be Ger-man!

26. Excuse me. I think you have something in your eye. Nope; it’s just a sparkle.

27. Charmanders are red, mudkips are blue, is you were a pokemon, I would choose you.

28. Do you work at Starbucks? Because I like you a latte.

29. Hey, tie your shoes! I don’t want you falling for anyone else.

30. Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got fine written all over you.

31. Go on; feel my jacket. It's made of boyfriend material.

32. If you were a chicken, you would be impeccable.

33. What's your favorite silverware? Because I like to spoon.

34. I'm not staring at your boobs. I'm staring at your heart.

35. Was your dad a boxer? Cause you're a knockout!

36. I will stop loving you when an apple grows from a mango tree on the 30th of February.

If you ever tried to use any of these, I'd like to ask if you're a red light... because you need to stop.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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36 Pick-Up Lines Guaranteed Not To Get The Girl

If you were a fruit, you'd be a fine-apple.

1. If you were a fruit, you'd be a fine-apple.

2. Tonight this Han doesn’t want to fly Solo.

3. I'm not sure what quidditch position you play, but I bet you're a keeper.

4. You are hotter than the bottom of my laptop.

5. From one to America, how free are you tonight?

6. It's handy that I have my library card because I'm totally checking you out.

7. Did you invent the airplane? Cause you seem Wright for me.

8. If I had to rate you from 1-10, I would rate you a 9 because I'm the one you're missing.

9. Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes.

10. If Internet Explorer is brave enough to ask you to be your default browser, I’m brave enough to ask you out!

11. Hey, girl, are you my appendix? Because you give this weird feeling that makes me want to take you out.

12. Do you have a Band-Aid? 'Cause I scraped my knee falling for you.

13. There are people who say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Apparently, none of them have ever been in your arms.

14. Remember me? Oh, that’s right, I’ve met you only in my dreams.

15. If you were a Transformer, you'd be Optimus Fine.

16. Are you religious? Because you're the answer to my prayers.

17. Do you live in a corn field? 'Cause I'm stalking you.

18. Was your mother a beaver? Because damn!

19. Does your left eye hurt? Because you've been looking right all day.

20. Hey, girl. Is your name Wi-Fi? Because we have a connection.

21. My doctor told me I'm missing vitamin U. Can you help me?

22. If you were a vegetable, you'd be a cute-cumber.

23. Is your name Google? Because you're the answer to everything I've been searching for

24. I'm not a photographer but I can picture us together.

25. Are you German? 'Cause I wanna be Ger-man!

26. Excuse me. I think you have something in your eye. Nope; it’s just a sparkle.

27. Charmanders are red, mudkips are blue, is you were a pokemon, I would choose you.

28. Do you work at Starbucks? Because I like you a latte.

29. Hey, tie your shoes! I don’t want you falling for anyone else.

30. Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got fine written all over you.

31. Go on; feel my jacket. It's made of boyfriend material.

32. If you were a chicken, you would be impeccable.

33. What's your favorite silverware? Because I like to spoon.

34. I'm not staring at your boobs. I'm staring at your heart.

35. Was your dad a boxer? Cause you're a knockout!

36. I will stop loving you when an apple grows from a mango tree on the 30th of February.

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We get it — we're frustrated with you, too.

1. When they go out of their way to help you.

2. When they are cleaning up a section of the store.

3. When they deal with your children being heathens.

4. When they listen intently to your coupon problems.

5. When they ask you about opening a credit card or rewards card.

6. When you have to wait to get an item number or to talk to a manager.

It's not always fun being fun-sized!

1. Not wearing makeup is like stepping in a time machine

2. "Wow, how tall are you?!"

3. You don't realize how much you're craning your neck until you talk to someone as short as you.

4. Hugging your friends is just asking for a face full of boob for you and makeup on their shirt for them. Awkward.

5. You face retail discrimination

Details the INFJ may not have wanted to let you know about.

1. Their moral compass is the strongest bone in their bodies

2. They like getting a mild cold

3. They can only make one new friend at a time

4. They can only be leaders if they're experts on the topic

5. You know what too nice means: Fake

6. Their creativity comes out in strange bouts

7. They like heavily emotional stories

8. They experience a different kind of tired

9. Structure and routine is the name of the game

10. They are sensitive little creatures

11. They love to love

12. Yup, they’re the mom of the friend group

It's a daily struggle to make it on time, but everyone has those days where they just...don't.

1. "Oh, crap..."

2. "Is it worth it?"

3. "Why is this room so cold?"

4. "Does this professor grade attendance?"

5. "Can I wear my pajamas to class?"

6. "Do I have time to brush my teeth?"

6. "Shoot, I didn't finish my homework..."

7. "What's the weather supposed to be today?"

8. "Will the bus be on time?"

9. "How can I enter the room in the least obtrusive way possible?"

10. "WHY didn't anyone leave a seat on the end in case someone came late?!"

11. "Does this professor hate me now?"

12. "I'll be early next class..."

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