To all my fellow moms, I’m sure countless nights you find yourself wondering why you, of all people, find yourself in the worst position of your going-out group, the mom. Somehow, every time you go out you find yourself responsible for making sure that the night doesn’t end in utter chaos and everyone makes it back safe and sound. This is a lot of pressure and it’s often super stressful and makes a fun night not so fun. Here’s a list of things I would rather be doing than holding hair and calling multiple Ubers.
1. Listen to Nickelback.
2. Fail all the tests I have ever taken.
3. Watch all the Sarah McLachlan animal commercials on repeat.
4. Walk on glass.
5. Make all 10 fingers be thumbs.
6. Lick the floor at Pots.
7. Have to say my name, major, and something unique about myself in all of my classes on the first day
8. Look for parking in Traditions at 10 a.m. on the first day of classes.
9. Ugly cry like Kim Kardashian every day of my life.
10. Get eaten alive by a pack of chihuahuas.
11. Get told the ending of the season I’m watching on Netflix before I watch it.
12. Hit every red light on West Tennessee.
13. Pour hot coffee on myself.
14. Be the family member no one talks about.
15. Listen to my upstairs neighbors scream and fight at 3 in the morning.
16. Step on a lego.
17. Grow up to be a crazy cat lady.
18. Pull a hang nail on every one of my fingers and toes.
19. Never be able to look at baby animal videos again.
20. Have my mom look at my finsta.
21. Live inside Strozier library for the rest of my life.
22. Go to my friend’s house when she gets in a fight with her mom.
23. Have all my friends screenshot every disgusting Snapchat I have ever sent to them.
24. Do group projects for the rest of my academic career.
25. Watch Dr. Miami videos in the middle of class where everyone can see.
26. Try on/shop for jeans.
27.Drop my contacts in the toilet.
28. Eat hospital food for the rest of my life.
29. Be an Uber driver.
30. Wake up late for a final.
31. Never be able to eat at Bento again.
32. Get told “you look tired” every time I don’t wear makeup.
33. Be the person who stays home when everyone decides to go out.
34. Eat anchovies
35. Yell "Go Gators."
That being said, there is a sense of pride and comfort that comes with knowing all your little ducklings made it to their rightful homes safe and sound. There is a reason you are the mom of the group and probably always will be. As much as you hate doing what you do, someone has to do it and that’s why you rock. You go, mommas!
