We already know most Americans do not want Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton to be the next president of the United States. But whether we like it or not, one of them will soon be. Here are 35 Things I Trust More Than Hillary Clinton.
1. That Kim Kardashian's butt is real
2. Dining hall sushi
3. My cheating ex-boyfriend
4. Bill Cosby bartending
5. When pledge drivers say you are the next ride on their list
6. People who use the term "swag"
7. My mom's compliments
8. Freshmen
9. The "you just won a million dollars" pop up add
10. Gas station hot dogs
11. The Cincinnati Zoo
12. My professor when he says "this class is easy if you just read"
13. The Tupac conspiracy theory
14. Any guy who says "you are the only girl I talk to"
15. Bill Clinton
16. An Über driver with a criminal record
17. Community showers without shoes on
18. Tiger Woods
19. Lifestyle condoms
20. The amount of weight a guy says he can lift
21. Hipsters when they say they were the first person ever to hear a song
22. T-Pain saying he doesn't autotune his voice
23. That Pretty Little Liars will actually end this year
24. Shonda Rhimes after she killed off Derek Shepherd
25. Taylor Swift during the #KimExposedTaylorParty
26. Any girl who claims they aren't crazy
27. Chick-fil-A saying that they are out of Chick-fil-A sauce
28. The nail lady saying she doesn't talk shit about me in a different language while I sit right in front of her
29. Casey Anthony in a room alone with a newborn
30. My apartment complex saying that they already contacted maintenance
31. Any professor who says I can't procrastinate and still pass their class
32. My roommate saying she didn't leave the empty Brita in the fridge
33. The "new" horoscopes
34. My boyfriend saying he didn't forget our anniversary
35. An elevator ride with T-Bag from Prison Break
