There's pretty much nothing I wouldn't do to get out of writing a research paper:

1. Play FarmVille on Facebook

2. Watch Caillou every second of every day for a week

3. Delete my most-liked tweets

4. Eat a ghost pepper

5. Get on a roller coaster and never be able to get off

6. Stub an ingrown toenail

7. Fully read my car’s manual

8. Snap my iPhone in half

9. Bathe in hot sauce

10. Get pink eye in both eyes

11. Use poison ivy as toilet paper

12. Wear no underwear with jeans

13. Pierce my own tongue

14. Wear a bra that’s 3 sizes too small

15. Eat a handful of pebbles

16. Snort Tide laundry detergent

17. Only eat pickles for the rest of my life

18. Moisturize my body with mayonnaise

19. Delete all my contacts

20. Never see the light of day again

21. Get a tattoo of the dinosaurs from The Land Before Time on my forehead

22. Wear gauchos out on the town

23. Eat chalk

24. Go on a hike in Arizona in the summer wearing a sumo suit

25. Cut all my hair off using a butter knife

26. Swim in a pool of rusty nails

27.Swash my laptop with a hammer

28. Facebook friend everyone on my “suggested friends” list

29. Shrink all my clothes in the washer

30. Permanently glue my forehead to my feet

31. Sleep in a dorm room in the middle of summer

32. Use tree branches as arms for a year

33. Learn how to play the violin

34. Shave both my legs with a toothpick

35. Replace my Listerine with pureed onions

36. Make a list of things I’d rather do than write this paper