1. How did I get home?
2. How much did I drink last night?
3. Oh no. What is my Snapchat story?
4. I think I'm dying.
5. Why did I do this to myself?
6. I can’t move.
7. I need Advil now.
8. And a fat ice coffee with a bagel.
9. Water is a necessity.
10. *checks phone*
11. I suck.
12. Why do bad things happen to good people?
13. I think I am going to vomit.
14. Someone get me saltines and ginger ale.
15. I hope I didn’t drunk eat last night.
16. The room will not stop spinning.
17. Annnd I’m sweating.
18. I am never going out again.
19. I just don’t understand myself.
20. Who let me dance on an elevated surface?
21. And who spilled beer in my hair?
22. Why am I still in my jeans?
23. Where is my ID and credit card?
24. I hope all of my friends survived.
25. Why did I drink tequila?
26. I can’t watch any Snapchat stories.
27. Should I shower?
28. I should probably stop making dumb decisions.
29. When the f*ck did I order pizza?
30. *checks text messages*
31. *silently curses self out*
32. I don’t remember anything.
33. That's it, I'm allergic to alcohol.
34. And it's safe to say I'm never drinking ever again.
Until... *12 hours later*