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33 Ways You Could Better Spend Your College Tuition

A four-year degree is overrated anyway.

Austin Goodwin

Aug 29, 2017

Tuscaloosa, AL The University of Alabama

33 Ways You Could Better Spend Your College Tuition

Paramount Pictures

As college students, we all wonder from time to time why we are paying so much money for a piece of paper. Many of us feel as though we aren't getting our money's worth, and thus are not happy in college. So, I have compiled a list of 33 ways your $100,000 tuition could be spent much better.

1. Season tickets in the skybox for Bryant-Denny stadium

2. Puppies for every sad college student on campus

3. Thousands of Subway sandwiches for the most ridiculous Subway commercial ever

4. 10,000 ten-dollar strippers

5. One $100,000 stripper

6. A nice house in the countryside with a white picket fence

7. A small cozy beachhouse

8. Around 4,000 thirty-racks of beer for the most ridiculous party ever

9. The Shelby GT350R

10. A date with Kate Upton

11. Long-term stock investment

12. The opportunity for real job experience which is actually going to get me further in life than a $100,000 piece of paper

13. Rent a private jet once or twice

14. Purchase bodybuilding supplements for life

15. Get a meet and greet with Eminem, or any worthwhile music artist

16. Buy roughly 87,374 Chick-Fil-A milkshakes for random strangers

17. Use it to stack penny stocks while flipping these birds

18. Convert it to 10,000,000 pennies in a swimming pool, then push all of my worst enemies off of a diving board 30 feet high into that swimming pool

19. 1,000 hours of psychiatry to help me deal with the fact that college costs so much

20. A king size tub big enough for ten plus me

21. Have a zipline between city skyscrapers

22. A year's worth of traveling to all of the exotic cities in the world

23. Ten year's of eating a steakhouse quality steak every day

24. Kobe Bryant's two championship rings he bought for his parents that were sold at an auction

25. Pay 1/190,000,000th of the U.S. National Debt

Check out the U.S. National Debt Clock here

26. This legal tender $100,000 bill from 1934

27. 50,000 Powerball tickets

28. Open a coffee shop, smoothie bar or other cash cow

29. Invest in my parents' early retirement

30. Land a guaranteed lifetime job and bathe in my cash

31. Give it all to charity

32. Obtain M4's, shotguns, hunting rifles and necessary supplies for a zombie apocalypse

33. A year's worth of security guard services so I can antagonize jerks in bars

Stay in college, kids.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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33 Ways You Could Better Spend Your College Tuition

A four-year degree is overrated anyway.

1. Season tickets in the skybox for Bryant-Denny stadium

2. Puppies for every sad college student on campus

3. Thousands of Subway sandwiches for the most ridiculous Subway commercial ever

4. 10,000 ten-dollar strippers

5. One $100,000 stripper

6. A nice house in the countryside with a white picket fence

7. A small cozy beachhouse

8. Around 4,000 thirty-racks of beer for the most ridiculous party ever

9. The Shelby GT350R

10. A date with Kate Upton

11. Long-term stock investment

12. The opportunity for real job experience which is actually going to get me further in life than a $100,000 piece of paper

13. Rent a private jet once or twice

14. Purchase bodybuilding supplements for life

15. Get a meet and greet with Eminem, or any worthwhile music artist

16. Buy roughly 87,374 Chick-Fil-A milkshakes for random strangers

17. Use it to stack penny stocks while flipping these birds

18. Convert it to 10,000,000 pennies in a swimming pool, then push all of my worst enemies off of a diving board 30 feet high into that swimming pool

19. 1,000 hours of psychiatry to help me deal with the fact that college costs so much

20. A king size tub big enough for ten plus me

21. Have a zipline between city skyscrapers

22. A year's worth of traveling to all of the exotic cities in the world

23. Ten year's of eating a steakhouse quality steak every day

24. Kobe Bryant's two championship rings he bought for his parents that were sold at an auction

25. Pay 1/190,000,000th of the U.S. National Debt

26. This legal tender $100,000 bill from 1934

27. 50,000 Powerball tickets

28. Open a coffee shop, smoothie bar or other cash cow

29. Invest in my parents' early retirement

30. Land a guaranteed lifetime job and bathe in my cash

31. Give it all to charity

32. Obtain M4's, shotguns, hunting rifles and necessary supplies for a zombie apocalypse

33. A year's worth of security guard services so I can antagonize jerks in bars

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The holiday classics that shaped my life

1."But what would happen if we all tried to be like Santa and learned to give as only he can give: of ourselves, our talents, our love and our hearts? Maybe we could all learn Santa's beautiful lesson and maybe there would finally be peace on Earth and good will toward men."

"Sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can't see."

"If you won't use your heart, who cares if it gets broken? If you just keep it to yourself, maybe it'll be like my rollerblades. When you do decide to try it, it won't be any good. You should take a chance. Got nothing to lose."

"Remember, no man is a failure who has friends."

"Life is made up of meetings and partings. That is the way of it."

"If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find a that love actually is all around."

"Sometimes things look good on paper, but lose their luster when you see how it affects real folks. I guess a healthy bottom line doesn't mean much if to get it, you have to hurt the ones you depend on."

"'Maybe Christmas,' he thought, 'doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.'"

"Faith is believing when common sense tells you not to."

"There's room for everyone on the nice list."

Hopefully they will make you laugh.

1. Why are towels considered dirty when you get out of the shower clean?

2. Who closes the bus door once the bus driver gets off?

3. Why is there a "d" in "fridge" but not in "refrigerator"?

4. If you drop soap on the floor is the floor clean or the soap dirty?

5. Is the "S" or the "C" silent in the word "scent"?

6. Does expecting the unexpected make the unexpected the expected?

7. Would Lightning McQueen buy car insurance or life insurance?

8. Who put the alphabet in alphabetical order?

9. What color are mirrors?

10. If 2 mind readers read each other's minds whose mind are they really reading?

11. Is there a synonym for "synonym"?

12. If your shirt isn't tucked into your pants, are your pants tucked into your shirt?

13. Why is it called "quick sand" if you sink slowly in it?

14. If I try to fail, but succeed, which one did I do?

15. If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, why did it fall off?

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