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33 Ways You Could Better Spend Your College Tuition

A four-year degree is overrated anyway.

Austin Goodwin

Aug 29, 2017

Tuscaloosa, AL The University of Alabama

33 Ways You Could Better Spend Your College Tuition

Paramount Pictures

As college students, we all wonder from time to time why we are paying so much money for a piece of paper. Many of us feel as though we aren't getting our money's worth, and thus are not happy in college. So, I have compiled a list of 33 ways your $100,000 tuition could be spent much better.

1. Season tickets in the skybox for Bryant-Denny stadium

2. Puppies for every sad college student on campus

3. Thousands of Subway sandwiches for the most ridiculous Subway commercial ever

4. 10,000 ten-dollar strippers

5. One $100,000 stripper

6. A nice house in the countryside with a white picket fence

7. A small cozy beachhouse

8. Around 4,000 thirty-racks of beer for the most ridiculous party ever

9. The Shelby GT350R

10. A date with Kate Upton

11. Long-term stock investment

12. The opportunity for real job experience which is actually going to get me further in life than a $100,000 piece of paper

13. Rent a private jet once or twice

14. Purchase bodybuilding supplements for life

15. Get a meet and greet with Eminem, or any worthwhile music artist

16. Buy roughly 87,374 Chick-Fil-A milkshakes for random strangers

17. Use it to stack penny stocks while flipping these birds

18. Convert it to 10,000,000 pennies in a swimming pool, then push all of my worst enemies off of a diving board 30 feet high into that swimming pool

19. 1,000 hours of psychiatry to help me deal with the fact that college costs so much

20. A king size tub big enough for ten plus me

21. Have a zipline between city skyscrapers

22. A year's worth of traveling to all of the exotic cities in the world

23. Ten year's of eating a steakhouse quality steak every day

24. Kobe Bryant's two championship rings he bought for his parents that were sold at an auction

25. Pay 1/190,000,000th of the U.S. National Debt

Check out the U.S. National Debt Clock here

26. This legal tender $100,000 bill from 1934

27. 50,000 Powerball tickets

28. Open a coffee shop, smoothie bar or other cash cow

29. Invest in my parents' early retirement

30. Land a guaranteed lifetime job and bathe in my cash

31. Give it all to charity

32. Obtain M4's, shotguns, hunting rifles and necessary supplies for a zombie apocalypse

33. A year's worth of security guard services so I can antagonize jerks in bars

Stay in college, kids.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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33 Ways You Could Better Spend Your College Tuition

A four-year degree is overrated anyway.

1. Season tickets in the skybox for Bryant-Denny stadium

2. Puppies for every sad college student on campus

3. Thousands of Subway sandwiches for the most ridiculous Subway commercial ever

4. 10,000 ten-dollar strippers

5. One $100,000 stripper

6. A nice house in the countryside with a white picket fence

7. A small cozy beachhouse

8. Around 4,000 thirty-racks of beer for the most ridiculous party ever

9. The Shelby GT350R

10. A date with Kate Upton

11. Long-term stock investment

12. The opportunity for real job experience which is actually going to get me further in life than a $100,000 piece of paper

13. Rent a private jet once or twice

14. Purchase bodybuilding supplements for life

15. Get a meet and greet with Eminem, or any worthwhile music artist

16. Buy roughly 87,374 Chick-Fil-A milkshakes for random strangers

17. Use it to stack penny stocks while flipping these birds

18. Convert it to 10,000,000 pennies in a swimming pool, then push all of my worst enemies off of a diving board 30 feet high into that swimming pool

19. 1,000 hours of psychiatry to help me deal with the fact that college costs so much

20. A king size tub big enough for ten plus me

21. Have a zipline between city skyscrapers

22. A year's worth of traveling to all of the exotic cities in the world

23. Ten year's of eating a steakhouse quality steak every day

24. Kobe Bryant's two championship rings he bought for his parents that were sold at an auction

25. Pay 1/190,000,000th of the U.S. National Debt

26. This legal tender $100,000 bill from 1934

27. 50,000 Powerball tickets

28. Open a coffee shop, smoothie bar or other cash cow

29. Invest in my parents' early retirement

30. Land a guaranteed lifetime job and bathe in my cash

31. Give it all to charity

32. Obtain M4's, shotguns, hunting rifles and necessary supplies for a zombie apocalypse

33. A year's worth of security guard services so I can antagonize jerks in bars

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10 things that most incoming college freshmen have no idea about.

Your Schedule

The Library

Time Management

Registration

Housing

The Dining Hall

Teachers

Clubs

High School Friends

Finals

It's not all morning coffees and singing along to the radio.

You can't just go to your room to take a nap in the middle of your classes.

Having to spend all your extra cash on gas for your car.

Speaking of money, you probably don't have a meal plan so you're forced to scrounge up some change or mooch off of your friends.

It can be harder to maintain the friendships you make with people from class.

Finding a parking spot.

It can be harder to be involved on campus because between your one, two, or three jobs and school you don't have much free time.

When you try to be super involved on campus, it can kill your sleep schedule.

It's impossible to do homework at home, but staying on campus isn't an option sometimes.

There are surveys and events that you can't participate in because you're a commuter.

Group projects are the bane of your existence.

Traffic.

Your backpack rivals that of a survivalist trekking in the woods.

Driving all the way to campus to find a note on the door of your classroom saying class was cancelled.

Because have you ever had to endure grilling your foot on a George Foreman?

1. When he just wanted bacon from his George Foreman grill

2. When he had money (and Jan) issues

3. When he got upstaged at Phyllis' wedding

4. When he unintentionally saved Meredith from rabies

5. When he wore a "bisexual" suit

6. When he had to apologize to Jesus

7. When his GPS drove him into a lake

8. When he had to deal with Ryan as his boss

9. When he couldn't fulfill his most generous empty promise

10. When this happened

11. When he struggled with a X-Mas break up

12. When he had to defend his generosity

13. When he threw a classy Christmas party for Holly but she had a boyfriend

14. When he had to stand up to peer pressure

15. When Toby was "Toby-ish"

This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

Run Around Clanging Pots and Pans in Everyone's Face

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