The Odyssey Rejects twitter page surfaced about a year ago. It posts headlines and prompts for articles that wouldn't necessarily make it onto Odyssey. I love to read them and most of them are ridiculous, but there's quite a few that I'd definitely read if they were published. Here is my list of 33 Odyssey Reject articles that I would definitely read:
1. "Why Hasn't He Texted Me Back?" A Long-Form Narrative.
I'd also like to know. Boys can be so rude.
2. The Five Stages of Peeing Your Pants, As Told By Beans from Even Stevens.
Ah, Even Stevens. Such a childhood classic.
3. 12 Reasons Why You Should Quit School and Become a Rapper, as Told By Someone From Your Hometown.
Shoutout to all of those from Downriver still trying to make it.
4. The 473 Best Places to Go Just For the Instagram Pic.
I really need to up my Instagram aesthetic. I feel like this could really help a girl out.
5. An Open Letter to the Boy Who Made Eye Contact With Me While I Was Picking My Nose at a Red Light.
Who is this boy? Why was he making eye contact with her? Couldn't he just leave her alone to pick her nose in private?
6. 67 Reasons Why You Should Keep Up With The Kardashians Instead of Your Own Life.
They obviously have a much more exciting and glamorous life than I do. Who wouldn't want to live vicariously through them?
7. 45 Ways Watching Grey's Anatomy Makes You a Real Doctor.
Now, I am one of the few humans who has yet to watch the show... But from talking to friends that have watched it numerous times, I'd definitely trust them in the operating room.
8. How To Tell If You're Being Catfished, as Told By 529 Cats Wearing Scarves.
Who knew so many cats liked to wear scarves? I sure didn't. But if a cat wearing a scarf were to tell me I was being catfished, I'd have to listen.
9. 7 Times You Reacted to a Situation Like A Normal Human Being Would.
Is that even possible? Please, tell me how.
10. An Open Letter To The People Who Keep Down Voting My Yik Yaks.
I'm pretty sure YikYak doesn't exist anymore, or if it does, nobody uses it. But people that used to down vote them are just plain rude.
11. 15 Workout Tips From The Girl Eating Chick-Fil-A On The Couch.
Chick-Fil-A is delicious, and obviously healthy... you don't even need to work out, duh.
12. 500 Words On The One Time I Literally Thought I Wouldn't Be Able To Even Anymore.
I can relate, 100%. I can't ever even anymore.
13. An Open Letter to the Teacher Who Sent Me Home Because My Shorts Were Too Short.
Shoutout to my middle school - I remember those days.
14. Why You Should Keep Texting Him Every Day, Even If He Doesn't Respond For 4 Months.
Been there, done that. 10/10 would recommend.
15. Simple 3 Day Juice Cleanse Recipe That Can Literally Cleanse You of Your Sins.
Yes! I need to know!
16. An Open Letter to the Boy Who K'd Me and Ruined My Perception of Love.
You can't just go around K'ing people. That's like the first rule of texting.
17. 27 Signs Your American Girl Doll Is Plotting To Kill You.
I could honestly write this one. Scary shit.
18. An Open Letter to The Girl I Met in the Frat House Bathroom That Showed Me Where They Hid The Toilet Paper.
These are the real heroes.
19. 101 Creative Ways To Exterminate Your Furby.
Such creepy creatures.
20. An Open Letter to the Hairdresser Who Cut Off 1 and 3/4 Inches of Hair When I Only Asked Her to Cut Off 1 and 1/2.
How dare you cut 1/4 more inches than she asked. Can't trust anybody nowadays.
21. 28 Times the Wild Thornberry's Were Your Squad Goals.
Who wouldn't want a monkey like Darwin to be a part of the squad?
22. An Open Letter to the Girl I Facebook Messaged About Being My Freshman Year Roommate Who Never Responded.
We could've had such a great year! Your loss.
23. 500 Words on Why I'm Still Pissed That High School Was Nothing Like Zoey 101.
That show gave me such unrealistic expectations. I still wish I went to Pacific Coast Academy...
24. How to Get That Perfect Summer Bod, as Told by Rolie Polie Olie.
He can tell you how to be small and smart and round!
25. An Open Letter to My Ex-Childhood Friend Who Ripped My Polly Pocket's Favorite Dress.
Friendship was immediately over.
26. 13 reasons Why You Shouldn't Trust Anyone Who Eats Taco Bell Before 10 p.m. While Completely Sober.
Who even does that? Definitely not me...
27. An Open Apology to Saint Patrick for the Sins I Have Committed on Your Special Day.
That would be a long apology letter...
28. What Being Away From My Sorority Sister for 5 Minutes Taught Me About Long Distance Relationships.
This is why sisters go everywhere together. Long distance relationships suck.
29. What My Ex Changing His Netflix Password Taught Me About Being Excommunicated.
The worst kind of person.
30. The Ultimate Spotify Playlist for Your Sunday Morning Walk of Shame.
The playlist you never knew you needed.
31. Why We Shouldn’t Let the Debate about Pineapple on Pizza Divide our Nation.
Even though everyone knows that pineapple on pizza is the best.
32. What Throwing Up Tequila on Cinco de Mayo Taught Me About the Mexican Culture.
I love learning about other cultures... tell me more!
33. 76 Reasons Why Passive Aggressively Subtweeting Will Solve All of Your Problems.
We've all had our petty times. I can't remember a time it didn't solve all of my problems...
Odyssey Content Creators are always looking for new topics to write about... Maybe I'll write one of these next time!
