I wouldn’t call my building so much a dorm as much as I would a very nice, live-in locker room. Also, my dining hall is more like a weird gravy train of men eating hamburgers and chugging whole milk. My point being, this school is basically just a glorified Boston Sports Club. Okay, I’m being a little dramatic which I tend to do, but all jokes aside I am one of 600 girls on this entire campus. There are over one thousand pairs Oakley sunglasses staring back at me. Me and my roommates; we are minorities on campus. Here are some of the things I’ve learned three years deep at a male-dominated school.
1. Not every curse word is exclusively used to describe women.
2. Baseball hats on Friday mornings after a tough Thursday are more important than the First Amendment.
3. Not everyone is as concerned about the tampon-tax as I am.
4. Football is apparently, like, a big deal.
5. So is hockey, I guess.
6. AND GOLF, EVEN GOLF- EVEN GOLF IS A BIG DEAL.
7. Lil Yatchy is a rapper not a small boat.
8. Water Light is not water but actually a mean name for Bud Light.
9. Panera counts as going “out to dinner”.
10. There is this thing called the Gain Train and for some reason every guy I know is apparently on it.
11. Gatorade can come out of fountain machines.
12. Screaming at a TV is a normal, sane thing to do.
13. Bringing books back and forth every year even though I’ve already read them is odd and pretentious and a waste of car space.
14. Writing poetry is not lame and they’ll come to your readings and cheer like it’s a baseball championship.
15. They have no idea what makeup is or does or why we wear it.
16. They’ll watch you do your makeup and try to figure it out.
17. Spending $160 on boots when you can get them from Forever 21 for $30 is silly.
18. Dressing for anyone but yourself is a waste.
19. Playing dumb is dumb within itself.
20. Being the loudmouth, smart-a**, opinionated, and over-educated chick in class is literally the coolest thing you can do.
21. I cannot drink the way a 6’4 basketball player and I should never try.
22. Girl athletes are seriously the toughest people you will ever meet.
23. Girls do not suck- girls stick together and we watch out for each other and we protect each other the way our real sisters do.
24. Group projects are impossible. One person will, I repeat will, do everything.
25. “No, feminism is not… no, listen, I like boys seriously, no listen… I just- I just… oh my god… I just want equality.”
26. Supporting people is vital- whether it is sports, writing, or anything in between.
27. Dapping someone up is equivalent to signing a peace treaty.
28. Violence solves nothing.
29. You can be at every party and on Dean’s List- don’t limit yourself.
30. Don’t spend time with people who you don’t like. It is that simple.
31. If someone calls you for a ride you leave class and you pick them up from the mechanic in a seedy part of town.
32. Loyalty… loyalty, loyalty, loyalty.
