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31 things I would rather do than retake the SATS

Sep 25, 2016

wikipedia.com

As the college class of 2022 begins their college application preparation, we high school grads are reminded of the good times at Saturday morning test prep and timed practice sections. Here are 31 things better than relive this wonderous process:

1) Shave my head

2) Eat something off of a New York street

via">https://giphy.com/gifs/nickatnite-full-house-miche... GIPHY

3) Listen to Nickelback for an entire day

4) Name my first five children after the spice girls (Sporty,Scary, Posh, Baby and Ginger)

5) Loose a game of checkers

6) Turn down an invitation to Jim and Pam's wedding

7) Braces for two more years

8) Give up 1010! for a week

(Download in the app store you won't regret it)

9) Trade my iPhone for an Android

10) Go to another high school dance

via">https://giphy.com/gifs/hiding-hide-embarassed-jbws... GIPHY

11) Trade my Adidas in for Sketchers

12) Be a contestant on the Bachelor (wouldn't actually take that much convincing)

13) Reread Beowulf

14) Be in an Avenger without any superpowers

15) Be a muggle with two wizard parents

16) Spend an hour with Gabe from The Office

via">https://giphy.com/gifs/wut-happyhappyjoyjoyhappyha... GIPHY

17) Drink diet soda

18) Wear waterproof mascara

19) Open my eyes underwater with contacts in

20) Go sunscreenless to the beach

21) Answer April 25th as my perfect date

via">https://giphy.com/gifs/miss-congeniality-april-25t... GIPHY

22) Never listen to Taylor Swift again

23) Roll around in the sand

24) Sleep on a dorm bed with no mattress pad

25) Dance to the cha cha slide

26) Retake Geometry

27) Watch "Scott's Tots" on repeat (Season 6 Episode 12 "The Office")

28)Swim in jeans

via">https://giphy.com/gifs/comedy-seinfeld-DBa308wq8XT... GIPHY

29) My homework

30) Take a week long break from showering

31) Drink coffee on an empty stomach

All better than 4 hours of spotting grammatical errors, reading page long stories about rocks and determining which function equation best represents someone's gas mileage.

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1. When your advisor tells you that you should declare a major soon.

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31 things I would rather do than retake the SATS

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What about those of us who don't do it all in four years?

1. You feel like an elder.

2. You may feel lonely.

3. Senioritis is more real than ever.

4. You may feel a little down sometimes.

5. Fear of missing out won't be as real.

6. You are a college pro.

7. You'll have more free time.

8. You're happy you're still in school.

9. You feel like a guru.

10. You continue to grow.

You can't say that no one told you life was gonna be this way.

1. When dealing with people is too difficult.

2. When food is the best part of your day.

...you can't ever say no to it

3. When you meet new people.

4. When you're the third wheel.

5. When life is tough but you're trying to hold it together.

6. When you're the brunt of a joke.

7. When you're too broke for food.

8. When your judgment could be better.

9. When you're not great at socializing.

10. When honesty is the best policy.

11. When you accept your flaws.

12. When work is not going well.

13. When you skip the gym.

14. When you over think.

15. When you swipe right.

16. When you get a crush.

17. When no major life event is happening

"I don't want to do things. I want to do not things."

1. When your advisor tells you that you should declare a major soon.

2. Seeing the lost and confused freshmen and remembering that was you a short year ago, and now being grateful you know the ins and outs of the campus.

3. Going to the involvement fair to sign up for more clubs knowing that you are already too involved.

4. When you actually do the reading required for the first class.

5. Seeing your friends for the first time since last semester.

6. When you're already drowning in homework during syllabus week.

7. Realizing you don't have the same excitement for classes as you did as a freshman.

8. Going home and seeing people from high school gets weirder the older you get.

9. You've already established your de-stress routine.

10. Wondering where all the new freshman came from.

11. But ultimately being glad that you have a lot more knowledge than you did a year ago.

Freedom vs. Curfew

No one cares if you wear pajamas to class

You don't live with mommy anymore, say hello to cereal and Ramen Noodles

Curfew? Never heard of her.

Everything said in class is most likely posted online

Sundays are now for hangovers and homework

The realization that you need your pet now more than ever

High school parties are nothing compared to college

Exams are worth way more than participation points

The library is now your new best friend

You don't live with your mom anymore... call her

Moms are super heroes dressed in yesterday's clothing and they deserve an award for that.

1. For all of the endless hugs and kisses you always seem to smother me in.

2. For teaching me how to cuddle and being the best cuddle buddy still to this day.

3. For teaching me some of the best "mom dance moves"

4. For pushing through all of the sleepless nights and still being super mom.

5. For not killing me every time you found me cutting my own bangs.

6. For showing me all the classics and helping me develop a good taste in movies.

7. And for watching the ridiculous reality TV shows with me because no one else will.

8. For helping me with all of that awful homework that even you couldn't understand.

9 For giving us a taste of our own medicine when we needed it.

10. For setting my curfew at a reasonable hour to ensure I didn't get into any mischief. (I was still able to accomplish a little mayhem though)

11. For spoiling me as a little girl but making me do chores as I got older. I now understand the point of having a clean house.

12. For being the best host to all of the weird friends I would bring over.

13. And for standing up for me when those weird friends stabbed me in the back.

14. For listening when I needed to vent and always giving the best advice possible.

15. For being the absolute best cook. No arguments there.

16. For answering every single phone call and the millions of questions that I always have.

17. For letting me form my own identity and encouraging me along the way.

18. For going on shopping dates with me and always telling me your honest opinion.

19. For rolling the windows down and singing along to the music with me.

20. And for being the best mom possible. I love you!

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