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31 Candy Corny Halloween Jokes

Halloween is meant to be scary, but it doesn't mean we can't have a few laughs, too.

Samantha Keenan

Oct 31, 2017

Butler University

1454

Family Photo Album

Halloween is a time for tricks and treats, but it's also a time for laughs and giggles amidst the ghoulish scares and boos.

1. How do you fix a jack-o-lantern?

With a pumpkin patch!

2. Why didn't the vampire attack Taylor Swift?

She had bad blood!

3. Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?

He had no-body to dance with!

4. What do ghosts drink when they are thirsty?

Ghoul-Aid!

5. Who did Dracula take on a date?

His "ghoul" friend!

6. What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin' drops!

7. What do you call witches that live together?

"Broom" mates!

8. What do birds do on Halloween?

Go Trick or Tweeting!

9. What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!

10. What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone Appetit!

11. Why wouldn't the skeleton go trick or treating?

He didn't have the guts!

12. Why do vampires need mouthwash?

Because they have bat breath!

13. Who do monsters buy cookies from?

Ghoul scouts!

14. What might you find on a haunted beach?

A sand-witch!

15. Which ghost is the best dancer?

The Boogie Man!

16. What kind of music do mummies like listening to?

Wrap music!

17. Why don't mummies take vacations?

They're afraid they'll relax and unwind!

18. What position does a ghost play in soccer?

Ghoulie!

19. What room in a house is useless for a ghost?

A living room!

20. Do you know how to make a witch itch?

Take away the "w"!

21. Why did Dracula's mother give him cough medicine?

Because he was having a coffin fit!

22. Where do baby ghosts go during the day?

Day-scare!

23. Where did the college-aged vampire like to shop?

Forever 21!

24. Why did the man fail as a standup comedian, but later become a prolific ax murderer?

He was a total hack!

25. Why didn't the British boy's mother ever dress up for Halloween?

Because she was already a mummy!

26. Why did people think the jack o' lantern had a crush on the girl who carved him?

Because everyone could see he held a candle for her!

27. Why did you see so much hair when the werewolf dropped his pants?

It was a full moon!

28. What did Betty the Horse go as on Halloween?

A night-mare!

29. When does Dracula respond to the name Daniella?

When he's at Starbucks!

30. Why did everyone think Mr. Jones was rich?

Because he gave every kid who came to his door 100 Grand!

31. What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?

A stake sandwich!

Big thanks to Pinterest for all of the help finding these jokes. If you want to find some other ones- go to pinterest.com and type in "halloween jokes"! Happy Halloween!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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31 Candy Corny Halloween Jokes

Halloween is meant to be scary, but it doesn't mean we can't have a few laughs, too.

1. How do you fix a jack-o-lantern?

2. Why didn't the vampire attack Taylor Swift?

3. Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?

4. What do ghosts drink when they are thirsty?

5. Who did Dracula take on a date?

6. What do vampires take when they are sick?

7. What do you call witches that live together?

8. What do birds do on Halloween?

9. What is a ghost's favorite pie?

10. What does a skeleton say before dinner?

11. Why wouldn't the skeleton go trick or treating?

12. Why do vampires need mouthwash?

13. Who do monsters buy cookies from?

14. What might you find on a haunted beach?

15. Which ghost is the best dancer?

16. What kind of music do mummies like listening to?

17. Why don't mummies take vacations?

18. What position does a ghost play in soccer?

19. What room in a house is useless for a ghost?

20. Do you know how to make a witch itch?

21. Why did Dracula's mother give him cough medicine?

22. Where do baby ghosts go during the day?

23. Where did the college-aged vampire like to shop?

24. Why did the man fail as a standup comedian, but later become a prolific ax murderer?

25. Why didn't the British boy's mother ever dress up for Halloween?

26. Why did people think the jack o' lantern had a crush on the girl who carved him?

27. Why did you see so much hair when the werewolf dropped his pants?

28. What did Betty the Horse go as on Halloween?

29. When does Dracula respond to the name Daniella?

30. Why did everyone think Mr. Jones was rich?

31. What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?

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Here are just a few of those things.

Take the time to thank that one friend in your life you will never let go of.

1. Thank you for being the one I can always count on to be honest.

2. Thank you for accepting me for who I am.

3. Thank you for teaching me what real love feels like.

4. Thank you for always making sure I'm safe.

5. Thank you for going through things with me.

6. Thank you for teaching me to take care of myself.

7. Thank you for going out of your way to make me feel supported.

8. Thank you for always being there to back me up, even when you know I'm wrong.

9. Thank you for constantly pushing me to live up to my potential.

10. Lastly, thank you for making such a huge impact on my life.

It sucks, but you’ll make it through

1. Please just be seasonal allergies

2. I must not have gotten enough sleep last night

3. I’ll just take a little nap

4. Oh no, I have so much due tomorrow!

5. I’m fine, I’ll just sleep it off

6. Do I have to be responsible today?

7. Ugh no, I can’t actually be sick

8. Alright, I’ll take some medicine and I’ll be fine

9. This is the worst day of my life

10. Mom?

11. She was right (like always)

12. Too bad you're busy and can’t take the day off tomorrow

13. You think about taking the day off, but realize you have like three tests

14. You think you're actually going to be sick forever

15. Finally, you're better!

Sleepovers are not a thing. They're just not.

1. You only ask things once.

2. Seriously, you only ask once.

3. When you do muster up the courage to ask your parents for something, you creep around and wait until they’re in a good mood.

4. Before you get that final yes, you have to go through an interview.

5. If you ever got “the eye,” you knew you were screwed.

6. You were always the first to leave your group of friends when hanging out.

7. If you say you will be home at a certain time, you better be home at that time.

8. Seeing a missed call from your parents sends fear and horror through your veins.

9. If relatives are coming over to the house, your room better be clean.

10. You are careful about what jokes you share with your parents.

11. "You’re not an adult until you turn 18! You can do whatever you want then!"

12. If plans change while you’re out, you better text or call.

13. Don’t talk back. Ever.

14. When you’re called by your full name, you’re in deep trouble.

15. Don’t make them call your name twice.

16. Sleepovers are not a thing.

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