While many people spend their 21st birthday celebrating with their friends in their college town during a night of reckless debauchery. I spent the great adult milestone that is being able to legally drink with my parents at Walt Disney World’s Epcot, drinking my way around the world. Due to the unfortunate circumstance of being born during winter break, my options were limited. I could either drink in my hometown at bars I have been sneaking into since I was 16, or I could do something new. I decided to spend my 21st at Epcot in a failed attempt to feel cultured and worldly, despite the fact that I was in Orlando, Fla. Nevertheless, I had a great time drinking around the world at Epcot and would highly recommend it to anyone 21 and over. Here are 30 pro tips for anyone thinking about drinking around the world at Epcot, but who doesn’t want to die.
1. The fake countries of Epcot (aka where all the alcohol is) open at 11 a.m.
So go ride Mission: SPACE before so you’re not throwing up on a ride after drinking.
2. There are two paths you can take when exploring the countries, but really there is only one correct way to go.
Start at Mexico and finishing in Canada.
3. In Mexico, get a frozen margarita at El Cantina.
The first place you see by the gazebo (my favorite bar in Tallahassee is also called Cantina, so this was a welcoming sign for me). The mango margarita is good, but the lime is better.
4. There’s also a fancy tequila bar inside the ancient Mexican pyramid.
But the cheapest shot you can get costs the same price as a handle of the stuff anywhere outside of Disney. I did not realize this until we got the bill.
5. If you are contemplating buying the extra-large sombrero after drinking just one margarita then you have a long day ahead of you, my friend.
6. In Norway, the only place to buy alcohol is at the tiny kiosk by the “Church.”
You can order the white ale if you’re boring, but because you came here with purpose, get an aquavit shot of the potato vodka to put a few hairs on your chest. It’s not on the menu, but they have it -- trust me.
7. To be honest, Norway is kind of boring now that it’s all under construction for a "Frozen" ride.
So just take the shot and move along, now.
8. In China, I let my dad order the drinks and he got Chinese beers for us.
It wasn’t bad, but I wish I got one of the slushies.
9. They have a cool museum in the China area.
But we spent most of our time debating getting Chinese food until we decided to have snacks in Germany.
10. In Germany, I drank a Hefeweizen beer and listened to my parents compare the fake Epcot version of Germany to the real one they lived in for a whole three seconds when my dad was in the army.
11. Go ahead and eat a pretzel, bratwurst, schnitzel, or all three because they are fun to pronounce when ordering.
12. In Italy, escape the blazing sun by hiding away in a dark bar.
Be fancy by ordering red wine. We got the cheapest wine on the menu because we can’t tell the difference, just as Leslie Knope would.
13. A wise man would say not to mix alcohol, but a junior at a state college, like myself, would tell you to go for it.
14. In America, I decided to stick to my roots and get a beer brewed in my hometown of New Orleans, La.
Naturally, this was the worst drink I had the entire day.
15. Consider the last tip to be a metaphor of how U.S.A. compares to the rest of the world, even in Epcot.
16. In Japan, things got interesting.
When we got to the kiosk and asked for sake bombs, the servers giggled and said they weren’t on the menu. Determined, I asked them to make them for us anyway and, surprisingly, they did, giving us to-the-brim shots of sake and a tall boy of Japanese beer. Using empty cups they gave us, we filled the cups with beer about a quarter of the way full, dropped the sake in cups, and chugged the bombs. It was great.
17. Your parents will not think sake bombs are great.
18. In Morocco, there is a fully stocked bar that can make anything you want.
But you can still stick to the theme of Epcot and have a Moroccan beer.
19. The staff here let me use their iPhone charger so they deserve a shout out for being great human beings.
20. In France, I had a glass of champagne because apparently champagne is just weird wine if not from France.
21. Kudos if you make it this far. We almost didn’t.
22. In the UK, have a drink at the best bar in Epcot, the Rose & Crown Pub.
Here, I had two Guinness’s and an hour later, I regretted it.
23. Fun fact: the secret ingredient in Guinness that makes it so smooth is fish guts.
Yep, you heard me. That’s why in 2016, Guinness will be changing it’s recipe to suit vegetarians, vegans, and everyone else who finds out they’ve been drinking fish guts.
24. In Canada, you can order a nonalcoholic beer.
But Momma didn’t raise no quitter, so you better believe I’m drinking an alcoholic beer at the last country on the list.
25. Just order a celebratory Canadian beer and pat yourself on the back for successfully drinking around the world.
26. Go with your parents because the drinks are hella expensive.
27. Make sure to finish the hunt before 9 p.m. because right after the fireworks end the park closes.
28. Please, don’t upload an Instagram photo for every single fake country you visit. That is what Snapchat is for.
29. After five or so countries, you are going to forget to take photos for your Snapstory, anyway.
30. And finally, don’t lose the family backpack that has the car keys in it.
Otherwise, you’ll spend the remaining two hours of the day searching every single country in Epcot from Mexico to France, only to realize you left it at the very end of the checklist in the U.K. pub. Oops.
