30 Thoughts During A Hot Yoga Sculpt Class | The Odyssey Online
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Health and Wellness

30 Thoughts During A Hot Yoga Sculpt Class

"I just took a deep breath and choked on my own sweat. Tight."

Sarah Han
Jul 07, 2015
University of Minnesota Twin Cities
35
30 Thoughts During A Hot Yoga Sculpt Class
  1. I made it on my mat, and that’s half the battle.
  2. That girl’s sports bra is really cute.
  3. Wow, that lady is really fit. Do you think she gets all of her muscles just sculpting with three-pound weights?
  4. I think the prerequisites for men who take this class are to be buff and beautiful.
  5. I’m sweating just sitting here, and I haven’t even moved yet.
  6. Extended child’s pose. Okay, I got this. Just one more hour, and I’ll be back down on my mat.
  7. I think it’s been 10 minutes into class now. At least I hope...
  8. There’s always that one person who just has to show off and do a handstand before going into Chaturanga.
  9. You want us to hold a plank AGAIN?
  10. All right, we’re picking up our light set of weights now. That means class is almost halfway.
  11. How many squats do you think I’ve done?
  12. What do. you mean another set of mountain climbers? My arms feel like jello.
  13. That big, muscular man is on his knees chugging water. That makes me feel so much better about myself.
  14. Oh, you want me to do tricep push-ups? I’d love to see you do these with me.
  15. I think I just gave the instructor my bitch stare.
  16. Burpees? Is this yoga or military camp?
  17. If I don’t have a six-pack and rock-hard thighs after this class, I'm giving up.
  18. I can’t see anything because my sweat is in my eyes.
  19. I just took a deep breath and choked on my own sweat. Tight.
  20. Oh, we’re going into sculpt series one and two now. That means we’re almost done!
  21. Stop telling me to bring my knees to my nose and elbow. I just want to get into the lunge without having to be tortured before I do.
  22. The instructor is telling me to breathe, but I just don’t know how to anymore.
  23. OMG it’s over. My back is on my mat now, and I’m alive.
  24. Just kidding. We’re doing abs.
  25. Are we really going to do bicycle twists for this entire song?
  26. Yup. We are.
  27. What makes you think that I can hover my legs and hold after I just got my ass kicked this past hour?
  28. We’re bringing our knees in. Which means we’re stretching. Which means it’s over.
  29. Final Savasana. I could play dead and be in corpse pose all day long.
  30. Well, I still look the same. Why do I pay so much for a membership again?
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