Being a soccer player, you understand that there are good days and bad days. Quite often, you find yourself expressing your hatred for it, and yet, you wouldn't give it up for the world. You have your differences with other teams and sometimes your own. Thankfully there are a decent amount of good things that soccer players from all over can relate to. You know what it's like to win a game against your rival. You know what it's like to start in your first Varsity game. You know what it's like to hear your coach say you're scrimmaging the entire practice. And most of all there are plenty of things that soccer players all hate that non soccer players would never understand.
1. Finding turf in everything you own.
I'm slowly going insane while also collecting enough turf pieces to start my own stadium.
2. Floppers.
But really, get up. Everyone but the ref knows you're faking it.
3. Teammates that can never make it to practice but want to start every game.
We can see right through you, we know you weren't at your Grandma's house baking cookies every Tuesday/Thursday for the past three weeks.
4. Refs that blow the whistle too much.
Can we please play the game for longer than 10 seconds without you using that stupid thing!?
5. And then refs that don't ever use their whistle.
There's this thing around your neck and it does this magical thing when you blow into it. SO USE IT!
6. Waking up at the crack of dawn for tournaments forever far away.
You say "you can sleep in the car" like it's supposed to make me feel better about being up at 5 a.m.
7. Hair pullers.
8. When the new player tries to take your number.
I don't really care if that's usually your number. If you want to keep your fingers I'd suggest you pick a new favorite.
9. People who duck away from the ball instead of hitting it.
10. The look people give you when they see your tan lines.
Yes I'm aware how great I look, so looking is free. Touching and pictures are definitely gonna cost you.
11. When people say soccer is "easy".
LOL you're so funny, you should pursue a career in comedy.
12. The teammate who sucks up to your coach.
13. Ankle biters.
MY ANKLES ARE NOT THE BALL! Why is this such a hard concept for you!?
14. When people question why you spent so much on your cleats.
You spend hundreds of dollars on name brand shoes that you're too afraid to wear because they might get dirty. Your opinion is very irrelevant here.
15. Wearing pinnies.
It doesn't matter how many times your coach claims he washed them, they still reek.
16. The one teammate who yells at everyone to do better, and they're actually terrible.
17. Getting stuck carrying all of the equipment.
No really guys, it's fine. I enjoy struggling to walk because I'm carrying everything. GO AHEAD WITHOUT ME!
18. When someone misses an open goal.
It...was... wide... open.
19. Turf burn.
20. Getting megged.
Why me.
21. When you're wide open and the ball hog won't pass to you.
22. The ball hog finally passes you the ball... but you're completely covered.
23. Coaches that yell constantly.
I think they just do it because they like to hear the sound of their own voice.
24. Breaking in new cleats.
You wear them everywhere around the house in hopes of avoiding the nasty blisters and yet you still get them.
25. When one person causes the whole team to run at practice.
It's unanimous, you're at the top of my hit list.
26. The dreaded crossbar.
27. Annoying parents.
Yes we get it, you think your child is the best and deserves more playing time. Please file your complaint in the "we don't actually care" section and go to the back of the line.
28. Realizing you have to go to the bathroom the second the game starts.
Shoot. Coach will not be pleased.
29. The gym class hero who actually thinks they're decent at soccer.
Let's not crush their dreams just yet. I don't think they're aware this isn't the Olympics.
