1.) I'd make a good chemistry pun, but all the good ones argon.

2.) Are you the square root of -1? Because you can't be real!

3.) A good pun is its own reword.

4.) What do you do with a dead chemist? Well, if you can't curium and you can't helium, you may as well barium.

5.) What does the subatomic duck say? Quark.

6.) If you can take the derivative with respect to time, that'd be rate.

7.) I'm reading a book about antigravity. It's hard to put down.

8.) What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye matey.

9.) Never trust atoms. They make up everything.

10.) What kind of fish is made with two sodium atoms? 2 Na.

11.) These chemistry puns are sodium funny, I slap my neon the last one.

12.) A chemistry lab is like one big party. Some drop the acid and other drop the base.

13.) Oops. I lost my electron. I need to learn how to keep a better ion them.

14.) What did the angry electron say when it was repelled? Let me atom!

15.) I like to make bad chemistry puns, periodically.

16.) All of these science jokes are humerus!

17.) Resistance isn't futile! It's voltage divided by current!

18.) The labs smell like eggs you say? Sorry to hear you sulfphuring like that.

19.) The barkeeper says "sorry, we don't serve particles faster than light." A neutrino walks into a bar.

20.) What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his toe? Mitosis.

21.) I love earth science jokes. I think they're the schist.

22.) Why did the hipster chemist get burnt? He touched the beaker before it was cool.

23.) Are you full of beryllium, gold, and titanium, Because you are Be-Au-Ti-full

24.) Why did the white bear dissolve in water?? It's polar.

25.) Told a joke to helium. Helium doesn't react.

26.) Cations. They're PAWS-ITIVE.

27.) Organic chemistry is difficult. those who study have alkynes of trouble.

28.) What did earth say to the other planets? Wow, you guys have no life.

29.) NaCl/NaOh. That base is under a salt.

and finally...

30.) Do you want to hear a sodium joke?

Na...