We have all witnessed the glamorous portrayal of military relationships. From the cute monogramed spirit jerseys to the notorious "Marine Girlfriend" bumper stickers. From my experience, I'm here to tell you that the military lifestyle is a tough one to live especially from a distance. My fiancé and I had previously dated before he joined the military and we were inseparable. We graduated high school and I went off to college and seven months after that he went off to bootcamp. My attending college was an adjustment for us, but I was fortunate enough to only be an hour away from home so I was able to visit every weekend. When he left, I was absolutely crushed. We went from being together everyday to communicating via letters that were few and far in between. Now, we are over a year into our military relationship and I have learned how to nurture it and make the best of it.
Here are three ways to ensure a thriving military relationship:
1. Your support and dedication to him is key.
In order for him to be successful, he needs your support. He needs to know that you are there for him. Not only is your relationship feeling the strain of this new adjustment, his life in general has been flipped upside-down. He is going through so many changes and has so much expected of him on top of nurturing your relationship. The military is a big part of his life now, and he needs to know that you are 100 percent okay with that. When you have an easy-going and supportive attitude, it will aid in keeping your relationship grounded. When he knows that you are his number one fan and support him no matter what, that really helps to build positivity in the relationship.
2. Arguments will happen, but don't sweat the small stuff.
They say that distance makes the heart grow fonder, which is true but it also creates tension. It's no secret that being away from the one you love will cause one or both of you to become frustrated. Your schedules are different and it becomes harder and harder to communicate as much as you would like. He will make new friends where he is stationed and he will go out without you. He will forget to call you because he got busy with work. These are all great examples of how conflict can arise in a long-distance relationship setting. Though they may seem like silly reasons to start an argument, it happens. We are imperfect people who have flaws and egos and we argue, but never let small things get in the way of your relationship. Do not let petty arguments become the center of your relationship for this will lead to a tragic end. The best way to deal with these situations is to think to yourself, "Is this really worth the fight?" because nine times out of ten, it won't be. It is hard enough that you have the strain of distance and the military on your relationship, you do not need the negativity of arguments.
3. Cherish your time together.
Liberties and holidays do not come around often enough for us military wives and or girlfriends, but when they do it is important to enjoy this time. When he comes home he will want to do as much as he can in a very short amount of time. This can get slightly frustrating, but bear with him. He misses so many aspects of home he will want to soak it all in in a 96-hour period. When he travels from far away to see you and his family, appreciate that. His line of work is a dangerous one, so never take his presence for granted. You will learn to appreciate him more than you ever thought possible and your time together will be that much more precious.
Military relationships aren't all that bad, but it does take special people to handle all that it encompasses. With a little time, effort and above all, love, your relationship is sure to beat the odds.
