3 Ways To Help A Loved One Coping With Loss During The Holidays | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Lifestyle

3 Ways To Help A Loved One Coping With Loss During The Holidays

Losing someone you love is hard to deal with during the holidays.

13
3 Ways To Help A Loved One Coping With Loss During The Holidays

Loss is a part of life. Most people have lost someone in their lives. But that doesn't always mean that it's easy to deal with, especially when the holidays come around. From November to February, all of the holidays seem to be centered around family, but a lot of people don't have one or have lost parts of their family.

My mother died in April of 2013 and Christmas was her favorite holiday. We stuffed the stockings every year as if Santa still came, even when I was seventeen and the youngest, the point where everyone knew he wasn't real (sorry, spoiler alert!). But, my mom liked it. You could see her light up around Christmastime. I set up the nativity scene every year because we had a beautiful, small one that I loved almost as much as she did. But the year she died, I moved away. I spent that first year with my brother, and then from then on, there was no trace of my mom in my Christmases. Yesterday, I cried over this in the store. I couldn't afford a $3 nativity scene at that moment and disappeared two aisles away to cry over the fact that I missed her.

For a lot of people, this is the reality. So, I'm here to help. Based on a few friends' reactions and suggestions, as well as my own experience, I've got a few ways for you to help deal with someone who is experiencing and coping with this loss or other similar loss during the holidays.

1. Be patient.

This one is the hardest one. It's not easy to be patient with someone who might seem totally erratic, emotionally. Disappearing behind aisles and crying in a Walmart is hard to see and even harder to deal with. What are you supposed to do when that happens? Just be patient. We might want things that seem so unimportant, but let us do these things. They're probably important. It's okay to ask why, but understand that we might not want to tell you, or that we might now know how.

2. Don't pity us.

We need your help to get through these holidays: we have you and we know that, but pity is sometimes a reminder of how awful it felt to lose this person, whether it be death or anything else. Trust me, we went through that pity thing (and if it's a new loss, we might still be). We still want to enjoy our holidays, it's just harder. Instead, try to remain optimistic -- not glaringly so, but know that right now, we need your optimism.

3. Forgive us.

We're probably going to say some mean things, especially if you have what we don't. We probably don't mean it. When we say we "have no one," we know we have you, but you're not the person we're missing. We're grateful for you, we love you, but remember that it's not about you, meaning don't take it personally either. This isn't an excuse for us to be rude to you, but instead, an explanation to help you understand why we are and how your reaction to it matters.

I'm not an expert in losing people and I'm not an expert on how to treat those you love that have lost people, but in my personal experience, these are things that need to be understood. We love you, we care about you, but we miss our other person. I miss my mom and I miss the nativity scene I used to set up for Christmas, but while I was crying in the wrapping paper aisle my friend's mom picked up that $3 piece of a nativity set for us to begin one in our own home. It meant the world to me and I cried on the ride home from the backseat where my roommates understood.

It doesn't mean that we aren't happy, or that we don't want to enjoy the time this holiday with you. We just need patience -- a little understanding.

Because, I mean, with your help, maybe they can have as good a holiday as my 2000 Christmas was.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Adulting

18 Things I Want To Do Now That I'm 18

I'm technically an adult, so I'm legally required to live a little, right?

1116
Happy Birthday Cake

For the entirety of my high school career, I was always seen as the goody-two-shoes. I never got in trouble with a teacher, I kept stellar grades, and when I wasn't doing extracurricular activities, I was at home studying. Even when I did go out, it was usually with a bunch of fellow band geeks. The night would end before 11:00 PM and the only controversial activity would be a fight based on who unfairly won a round of Apples-to-Apples when someone else clearly had a better card (I promise I'm not still holding a grudge).

Now that I'm officially an adult, I want to pursue some new things. I want to experience life in a way that I never allowed myself to do prior to entering college. These are the years that I'm supposed to embark on a journey of self-discovery, so what better way to do that than to create a bucket list?

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

10 Life Lessons from Christmas Classics

The holiday classics that shaped my life

675
10 Life Lessons from Christmas Classics
Flickr

The holiday season is full of stress, debt, and forced conversation. While we rush through the month of December, it's important to take a step back and enjoy the moments before they're gone. Most families love to watch Christmas movies, but these beloved films provide more than entertainment. Here are 10 life lessons that I've learned from the holiday classics we watch every year.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

15 Mind-Bending Riddles

Hopefully they will make you laugh.

199795
 Ilistrated image of the planet and images of questions
StableDiffusion

I've been super busy lately with school work, studying, etc. Besides the fact that I do nothing but AP chemistry and AP economics, I constantly think of stupid questions that are almost impossible to answer. So, maybe you could answer them for me, and if not then we can both wonder what the answers to these 15 questions could be.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

Most Epic Aurora Borealis Photos: October 2024

As if May wasn't enough, a truly spectacular Northern Lights show lit up the sky on Oct. 10, 2024

20630
stunning aurora borealis display over a forest of trees and lake
StableDiffusion

From sea to shining sea, the United States was uniquely positioned for an incredible Aurora Borealis display on Thursday, Oct. 10, 2024, going into Friday, Oct. 11.

It was the second time this year after an historic geomagnetic storm in May 2024. Those Northern Lights were visible in Europe and North America, just like this latest rendition.

Keep Reading...Show less
 silhouette of a woman on the beach at sunrise
StableDiffusion

Content warning: This article contains descriptions of suicide/suicidal thoughts.

When you are feeling down, please know that there are many reasons to keep living.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments