Have you ever had a day that you can just look back on and say, “Wow, that was a crazy day.” You know what I’m talking about? Those days where you almost express every emotion you know of in the course of a single day? Well, I had one of those days. It was interesting, to say the least, but I learned a lot. I figured I’d want to share these lessons with you.
1. Dreams can die, and that’s okay.
In the morning, after a few classes, it was time for convocation. Specifically, the Freeman Lecture Series. The Freeman Lecture Series is dedicated to bringing people from around the world to come in and talk about Christ here at Sterling College. This time, we were graciously granted with the presence of Phil Vischer. In case you didn’t have a childhood, Phil Vischer is the creator of VeggieTales, one of if not the most popular Christian children video series ever created.
During his speech, I found a new side to him that I had never thought existed. It turns out that, around 2003, the company that created VeggieTales, Big Idea Productions, basically had to declare bankruptcy. He kept stressing the phrase “God could have saved me, but he didn’t," which struck me by surprise. Usually, when we have these sermons with these kinds of stories, yes God doesn’t save them at first but he eventually does. With Phil, however, this didn’t happen. After going to conference though, he learned something. Sometimes God puts us in positions where he asks us a question, “Which is more important? Me, or your dream?”
Look at Abraham. He was promised many generations of children by God himself, but then God asks him to kill his one and only son. The very thing that God promised to him. Abraham’s son doesn’t get killed in the end, but is inches from it. I wondered if Phil was going to take a similar route with his story and say “But VeggieTales is back and better than ever!” But he didn’t, and this especially intrigued me. Why would he not continue the story that we all know? Was it because we all know it? Was it because he was trying to prove a point? Did he just run out of time? I wish I could have the time to ask, but when it was time for me to say something to him, all that came out was “You’re a good person.” Then I left.
In the end, I was re-inspired to pursue my dreams. Which is ironic because of the lesson he had just told us. The thing is, just because I shouldn’t put my dreams before God doesn’t mean I can’t pursue them. It’s just that now, I had motivation to move along and pursue it. Along with this, I now know that my dream might die, or even not even happen, and I’ll be okay with that. Although, that in no way means I’ll try just as hard if not harder to make my dream into reality. What is my dream? Same as everyone else, I want to do something different, something interesting in this world. But that’s for another time, and another article.
2. Don’t try to please people, just be yourself.
After Phil Vischer gave his speech, it was time to go to lunch. Now, Phil had another luncheon to go to with the business department so there was no way that I'd be able to see him, but that's okay, I had other plans at that point. So I go to the cafeteria and get some lunch. Normally when I eat lunch I stay there for quite a while talking to my friends. For some of them, this would be the only time I'd get to see them that day (save for dinner). So we talked about general things. You know, like the weather and how good or bad the cafeteria food was that day. Eventually, most of my friends had to leave because they had class and I still had a half hour or so before I needed to go. Then it was just a friend and I sitting at the table, both trying to strike up a conversation. Being unsuccessful, I told her "Well, I'm gonna go unless you have anything else you'd like to talk about." She shook her head, so I got up and started to walk away. But before I left she turned to me and said "Actually, there is one thing. Remember last year when we talked over on one of these tables?" It was a general thing to ask so I let her explain, "I asked you something about why you're trying to please people I think, remember?"
To give some context, last year her and I had many conversations. It was kind of our thing and it was nice. At some point, we started talking about some really deep stuff about who we were and how we can become better. I told her that since I didn't have many friends growing up and then when I came to college I had more friends than I could have ever wanted. It was because of this that I started reacting to what people say in a way that I thought was appropriate. At first, it was small things like finding the right thing to say, but it soon turned into shaping my personality. For instance, there were many times when someone would tell a joke and I would react by laughing. At the same time, everyone who heard it thought it was a "terrible" joke. So they went "aw man that's so bad" as they laughed, and every time I caught myself changing how I reacted to match that.
Going back, I had realized that I hadn't taken many strides to change myself. After rehashing the conversation, I had a class to go to; but when I got back to my dorm room, I sat and thought about it. For the longest time, I had wanted to just be accepted by others. So I changed who I was to make sure that would happen. Now, I know that this sounds cliche but it's not exactly what you'd think. I was still me. I never changed what I liked or what I did from day to day. I told myself I was just being friendly. I never changed how I looked or what I wore. Instead, all I did was make sure that when I talked to people, I was likable and accepted.
I decided that day that I would change, or at least take strides to becoming better. Like a good friend of mine told me "They can't just love a person, they have to love you." I remembered a key phrase that the friend I talked to told me, "You can't try to please people, you just have to love yourself."
3. Everything happens for a reason, but it isn't necessarily your job to find those reasons.
After my reflection, I decided to relax a bit. After all, this was a rare time. I didn't have any homework or anything to worry about. I pulled up YouTube and started to go through the general videos, catching up on my favorite channels. Then I saw this one YouTuber named Domics. I had seen a video of his before and they were quite good. He tells small parts of his life through cute and simple animations while keeping a nonchalant yet humorous and yet serious tone throughout the videos. Confusing on paper, excellent on screen. Anyway, I saw a video of his labeled "Breakup: Part 1". I was interested because the way this guy does his storytelling is admirable, so it should be good, and was I right. During the next hour, I watched the entire Breakup series. It was about how he fell in love with girls in his life but ultimately broke up with them. It was really interesting how the stories unfolded. But it wasn't until his last entry in the series that it really caught my attention. I'll explain what I mean.
In the video, we learn that while this man was in college, he met a girl and they had an instant connection. They had similar interests, similar hobbies. Everything you'd expect in a good couple. They seemed perfect for each other, (I would say something other than "fateful day" - a little too cliche.) He wakes up to a text saying that she wanted to webcam, so he pulls up his computer and calls her. When the screen showed her, she was crying. She told him that they needed to break up. He froze, not knowing what to say, but a million questions coming to mind. He only got a few answered, but those questions still lingered. He never heard from her again.
It was then I realized the parallel. Unfortunately, the exact same thing happened to me. When I was in high school, I met the one girl in late spring. She was pretty, smart, extremely talented, and had red hair so, hey, bonus! We got along instantly and for months after we first met we could never find anything we disagreed on except hobbies (I liked video games and she liked books). We loved each other, and for a while, even into the next school year, everyone thought that she was the one, including myself. That is, until one night when I received a phone call. It was her. She told me that she didn't know what was happening, but she had lost the "spark" between us. I told her it would change soon and waited until our next date, all the time being nervous. As you could probably guess, that was the last time we went on a date together. She broke up with me the night after. I had so many questions. Did I do something wrong? Do you not like me? What can I do to fix this?
That night was one of the very few times in my life that I cried.
To this day I still don't have an answer to all of my questions I have for her, and in the video, it was the same. He never got most of his questions answered. But then he said something that touched me. "I gave up the questions, they didn't need answers. You see, when a toy breaks, you're not always ready for a new one. Sometimes you have to remain in that state of being without a toy to reflect upon yourself. You have to learn to be strong on your own and existing independence. You're not supposed to go looking for a new toy, you wait until you've earned it as a gift. People will often tell you that everything happens for a reason, but it isn't necessarily your job to find those reasons. Sometimes the best thing to do is just accept it and move on."
