I am now 20 years old and find myself acclimating more and more to the idea of becoming an “adult.” I realize I have to remember to pay rent as well as get used to making plans for a comfortable future. Often I miss the comforts of being dependent on my parents. There aren’t many things better than waking up to a barking puppy and the knowledge that a loving family is making breakfast outside of your bedroom door.
Despite the physical separation, I remain influenced by the lessons imparted on me by my parents. I feel lucky to have had them by my side to believe in me in moments of failure, to calm me in moments of misplaced stress. They have been my guiding light, and I often find myself smiling when remembering the things they’ve taught me.
When in doubt, I’ll still find myself scribbling these lessons in a notebook or two.
1. “Every time you step on the court, play like it’s your very last game."
This is obviously coming from a sports-obsessed family, but it still makes so much sense. I still remember my dad telling me to think about this before important volleyball matches. If I ever felt as though my head was somewhere else during the game, I would immediately regret it afterwards. Sure everyone has a bad day, but you can tell when you didn’t give something the full attention it deserved. I would kick myself if I didn’t give it everything I had. These words still guide me when it seems so much easier to complete a project with lackluster effort.
2. “Don’t be afraid to ask for help.”
I’m stubborn and, all too often, stubborn to a fault. Growing up, I would wake up at 4 a.m. and try and finish my homework rather than seek out a tutor or have my parents proofread my papers. This changed when I headed off to college, and I realized I needed them more than ever. As I was a homesick and an anxious freshman, they received about a million phone calls every day. But they still always found a way to pick up, which was incredible for me. I now know that I don’t have to lie and act like everything is fine when I’m hurting. They are willing to hold my hand until I can walk on my own again.
3. “Always make time to laugh.”
My family and I all have thick skins for all the times we’ve made fun of each other. The inside jokes are weird and frequent and dominate dinner conversation. We find ourselves discussing characters we met on a cruise or imitating an inappropriate statement made by a colleague. I was raised on nights of Seinfeld -- always looking forward to watching a new scenario play out even though both Jack and Kerry Moore already knew all the lines of dialogue. It still cracks me up when my mom calls me “schmoopie” in a text message in reference to one of the most famous episodes.
After I tired of the TBS Seinfeld syndication, our love became The Office. I was overjoyed when they let me start watching the offbeat program, and I looked forward to the Thursday night ritual. In a couple years, my brother would join the viewing party, and we would have our claimed spots on the couch every Thursday up until we were sobbing at the series finale.
When I take myself too seriously, my parents will remind me that being a human being is both simple and strange. They’ll resort to sending me a dorky picture from my childhood or overuse emojis to make me mad. I often long for those living room nights, but it makes me happy that whenever I hear those theme songs, I think of home.
Love you, you kooky parents. Thanks for the past and present lessons.
