Everyone needs a little help sometimes, and sometimes, for some people, it becomes evident that needing a little help has turned into needing a lot of help. However, it can be an extremely daunting process to go to a counselor for the first time. I know that I have enough problems just making tattoo and doctor’s appointments, and going to a counselor is a whole different beast. However, if you’ve found yourself needing counselling, here are three things to keep in mind that hopefully can ease your mind. One thing to remember, though, is that the things that I will be saying apply to people who are seeking mental health treatment through their own volition -- the process is a little bit different for people who are court, or otherwise, ordered to receive mental health/substance abuse treatment.

1. Your information and what you say* will be kept confidential.

For the most part, everything you tell your counselor will not leave the room. Psychologists as a whole, whether they’re research or counselling psychologists, take confidentiality extremely seriously. Your thoughts and feelings will be kept safe. Furthermore, if you are a legal adult, then nobody is allowed access to your case file or even allowed to know if you are attending therapy appointments at all. This can change if you’re underage, and it varies by state. It’s important, if you’re underage, to do research into what laws your state has in regards to minors receiving mental health care and how much your potential therapist is legally able to disclose to your parents or guardians.

*There are some exceptions to this. If your counselor deems you as being dangerous to yourself or someone else, then they will likely report it, or if they receive a court order. Therapists will also disclose instances of abuse and domestic violence that are currently ongoing as well. Furthermore, some states may require therapists to report any instances of child abuse, even if they happened in the past and are unlikely to happen again. Most of these nuances will likely be gone over in the informed consent process, which I will talk about next.

2. Therapists are ethically bound to provide some form of informed consent.

The informed consent document is exceedingly important in the therapeutic process. In this document, which your therapist will likely go over with you, there is a host of important information to keep in mind. It will detail the nature of the therapeutic relationship and the project time that it will take in order to complete the course of treatment. Regarding this, the therapist you’re seeing will likely include his or her theory/theories that they employ. There are multiple theories that therapists utilize -- some of the more popular ones are person-centered and cognitive behavioral models. If you have any questions regarding the therapist’s theory, don’t hesitate to ask! They’ll likely be more than happy to tell you. The theories that work for some people don’t always work for other people, and it’s always a good idea to know the finer details, especially when it comes to seeking treatment options.

Informed consent will also detail things like likely costs (which are usually covered by insurance if you have the insurance in order to cover it), degrees of confidentiality and what the therapist is required to report and not, and insurance details. The informed consent also allows you a chance to refuse treatment if you feel if you and the therapist don’t click, or if it will be too expensive, or even if you’ve decided to change your mind and not get help.

3. You may not click with the first therapist… or the second… or the fifth.

A lot of people may think of therapists as people who are roughly the same in personality, whatever that personality may look to you. The personality in mind could be a neo-Freud who requires you to lay down on a couch and who sits behind their desk and looks smart, or someone who is warm, caring, and open while sitting on the same couch as you. It’s true that there are therapists out there who DO behave like that, but, just like their clients/patients, at the end of the day, therapists are all different people with different personalities. That being said, you will likely click well with some therapists, but not others, on a fundamental level, and that’s OK!

Furthermore, a lot of a therapist’s “therapist” behavior will stem from the theory/theories they employ. As I mentioned earlier, there are a host of theories a therapist can use in order to treat their patients. I’m personally a huge fan of the existential theory, and if I were going to be an actual therapist, I would definitely employ that theory, but I know that not everyone is going to resonate with it the same way that I do. A lot of people will likely resonate with the person-centered theory, which is the warm, fuzzy type of theory. In fact, you might even be a person who likes a psychodynamic perspective, which is a Freudian-like experience.

It’s also worth mentioning that while anyone can learn to be a counselor, it doesn’t mean that anyone can be an

effective counselor. Like any other professional that you have to employ throughout your life, you might come across counselors who are just flat-out ineffective at their job, and that’s OK too. It just means that you might have to go therapist-shopping again, which can be really discouraging if it’s the third therapist you’ve tried to receive treatment from, but don’t give up! I promise that there’s someone out there that will be able to help you, even if you’ve visited 12 counselors and none of them have worked for you. Nobody in this world is “un-helpable,” and even if it takes a few tries to get a good relationship with a good therapist, I promise that it’s going to be worth the headache of a few bad apples in the process.