Where would I be without the guidance of my mother? I honestly don't want to know. She's taught me an incredible amount and still does. She never ceases to amaze me with her love and knowledge.

So here are 3 things she said a lot growing up and one day, I wised up and started really listening to.

1. Everything happens for a reason.

We’ll start out with a really nice cliché that I’m sure we’ve all heard at one time or another. Even though this has been really hard to grasp on quite a few occasions in my life, I always realize what she meant after I’ve gone through a hardship. I also learned that she may have said this to convince herself that her struggles weren’t for nothing. Honestly, I thought that too. The cycle for us seemed to be wishing the other didn’t have to go through some of the tough things we inevitably dealt with. It’s hard watching your mom suffer and it’s hard watching your daughter suffer. Whether or not these sad/tragic/terrible events were honestly necessary in the grand scheme of things, I don’t know. What I do know is that she was right. Things really do always work out, one way or another, even if it’s hard for us to understand in the moment.

2. Trust your instincts.

This is a huge one. My mom always taught me to trust my gut. And I’ve learned plenty of lessons where I ignored my instincts and later came to regret it. Whether it be reading signs, paying attention to dreams, trusting initial perceptions of the people I meet, or just trusting myself when I get this odd feeling that something isn’t right, my mom taught me that it’s better not to just ignore it. She did also teach me that our initial instinct may be incorrect, which is completely fine. But there really is something to trusting yourself to know when something doesn’t feel right.

3. Choose your battles wisely.

This is the master of all my mom’s quotes. This was the one I made fun of and rolled my eyes at growing up. To me, this was a challenge. I thought, why choose your battles? Why not fight them all (not that I actually did!)? Here’s the thing about my mom. Everything she taught me was from hard-earned experience. She was handed some really horrible cards in life but despite that, she knew when to keep things to herself. She learned the art of participation through her hardships. She came to understand that there are things in life worth letting go. There are situations in life that will only get worse if you throw gasoline onto the flames. This may seem obvious to some but when you’re fighting through abuse, mental illness, and low self-esteem, sometimes all you want to do is fight, fight, and fight some more. But she knew that choosing battles wisely, strategically, was exactly how you won the war. Not by flying off your seat the moment someone hurts your feelings. And let me just say, there’s true power in knowing when to step back and knowing when to stand up and fight. This is my life motto now and it’s thanks to her.

My mom hasn’t always followed her own advice. In fact, she notoriously doesn’t. I’d have to say I’m a lot like her but I’ve also learned lessons by watching her experience them. Don’t get me wrong, I wish she didn’t go through some of those things. But they did make her who she is and I know she’s thankful I made the effort to learn from her mistakes. She’s so powerful but not in the way you’d think. The two of us are similar in this way. We don’t demand attention when we walk into a room and we don’t get into the middle of everything. We watch and listen quietly, working to make sure we’re prepared for the right moment. Now that I’m going to be a mom myself soon, the similarities between she and I are only growing more apparent. And I’m damn proud. I’m just so proud to be her daughter. And I’m so proud to be like her.