My grandma is from Fujian, China. She's formidable, cranky, sometimes unreasonable and always telling us what we're doing wrong. Growing up, my siblings and I were constantly annoyed at how she lectured us on every little thing and imposed her opinions on us. More often than not, I would shrug off her words on the basis that the world she lived in is nowhere near the world I live in. That was when I was about 15. Now I'm almost 20, and to my surprise, I've realized that she actually knew what she was talking about.
1. Stand straight
Literally since the day I was born, my grandma would greet me by telling me to stand up straight and not slouch. I hated it. I would get home from school and throw myself on the couch only to hear her yell at me from upstairs (she has a sixth sense). Now that I'm somewhat in the world of professionalism, I've noticed how much of a difference it makes when someone has good posture. Thanks to my grandma, I'll never have to worry about slouching.
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2. Love yourself
If Justin Bieber spoke Chinese, I'd definitely claim that he stole that song title from my grandma. When I was in 11th grade, and my family was slowly realizing that I would be off to college halfway across the world soon, my grandmother would constantly remind my to love myself or, in Chinese, 自爱. She said that too many girls today don't love themselves enough and end up with the wrong man or in trouble. I didn't get it back then, but now I do. Without going too deep into it, if you love yourself you will end up with someone who makes you better, not someone who just makes you feel good but is ultimately bad for you, because you already feel good on your own. Does that make sense?
3. Don't date outside of your race
OK, a disclaimer: my grandma is very much racist. She doesn't mean anyone harm, but she is definitely prejudiced and has always told me that I could only date Chinese men or Chinese-Indonesian men. For a long time, I was (and still am sometimes) outraged at how unfair she was being; how could she just generalize all non-Chinese-Indonesian men like that? She's so politically incorrect all the time that if she were to spout all that nonsense within a mile of the Tufts campus... Anyway, I'm not saying I agree with her, but now I realize that she does have a bit of a point. It has nothing to do with generalizing people of a particular race, it's about recognizing that cultural differences can potentially be sources of friction. People from separate cultures are brought up with all kinds of different practices, customs and habits. Furthermore, when you get married, most of the time your significant other comes in a package with their family. It's important for both of your families to get along, otherwise, everyone is in for a really bumpy ride.
My grandmother has lived through things I can only imagine and has seen much more of life than I have. Even though we might have grown up in different worlds, some things stay timeless, including her advice.
