When I was old enough to walk to the bus stop on my own, I remember specifically the talk my mother had with me. When I was old enough to know what sexual intercourse was, I also remember that conversation, and also remember when I got a cellphone, the talks that I had with my parents about the pros and cons of it. Yet, I don't hear many parents now-days speaking much into their children about the simple things that can happen to them while walking to school alone, or the ups and downs about being sexually active, so I created a list of things as a reminder for parents,to still have "The Talk" with their children.
The "It's Still Not Okay To Talk To Strangers" Talk
I watched this video on YouTube called The Dangers of Social Media , which I will leave the link below. In the video, there was a guy who, along with the help of some fathers, would create a Facebook profile using all fake information. After talking with the women for almost 5 days, he tried to see how easy it was for him to meet the girls face to face conversations via text and FaceTome. I don't think I told you, but these women were between the ages of 10 and 13. After setting up a meeting time, he was able to meet the young girls face to face, while also surprising them with their fathers once they got to the location. The girls were so shocked and so scared, yet it made me wonder if we are even having the "Don't talk to strangers" talk with our children. Are we talking to them about the dangers of social media? How to now add anyone that you don't know? How do go to your parents immediately of anyone stops them and invites them into their vehicle while walking to the bus stop, or even how to not give your number out to total strangers. This is still relevant, and should still be talked about.
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The "Dress How You Want To Be Approached" Talk
I've been seeing a lot of news stories of elementary school teachers being arrested under child pornography charges, because they've either hinted to the children that they wanted a physical relationship with them, or they indeed followed through on their desires and made them into actions. I've spoken with someone who is currently a registered sex offender, and asked what caused him to do so. What provoked him, and surprisingly, how to prevent anyone from following in his footsteps.The first thing that came out of his mouth was how parents need to be careful when dressing their daughters, and how children are still children. Along with his many other insecurities, he acknowledged how sick he was. Mentally, he couldn't even get a woman to speak to him, date him, or hold a conversation with. Yet, along with this generation of music and television shows, it's so easy for our children to not only mimic them, but become them. It's still important to dress your children, as the children that they are. I've seen children 5 to 6 years old with crop tops and pressed silk wraps,and have been totally in shock. When I was 5 or 6 I remember still having headaches because the braids in my head were so tight, and getting popped when I wouldn't keep still while my mom advanced the number of plats she put in my head for my school pictures. Although you can't pick and choose who approaches your child, you do play a role in the attention that can be bought to them.
The "I'm Your Parent First, Friend Second" Talk
Last, but not least we've come to something that I had to learn the hard way. One day I was talking my mom, and we were laughing and joking. I took the joke a little too far by adding profanity into the conversation, and as quickly as the word left my mouth, my mom also grabbed my shirt at my neck with a quick reminder. She said "Chelsey, I'm still your mother, and always will be that. I was put on this earth to be a parent to you at all times, and that I will continue to be, but don't ever fix your mouth to disrespect me or my house". I've been in grocery stores, hearing children talk to their parents as if they didn't raise them. Parents, how your children talk to you, is how they talk to adults outside of the home. Please be careful.
Even with it being 2016, it is still important to instill certain values into your children. I have met parents recently that practically laughed in my face when I asked what kind of lessons they were instilling in their children, and were quick to tell me that their children have to learn through experience, just as they did. When having children, the goal is to teach them, and parent them on the things we weren't. Let's get back into the habit of looking out for our children.
