I hate to fuel the stereotype that girls can’t understand sports, but I epitomize this unflattering typecast to a tee when it comes to football. Of course I know what touchdowns, complete passes and field goals look like, but fourth downs, two-point conversions and punts…eh. However, as a student at Southeastern Louisiana University, I do attend our football games and support the Lion Nation. Aside from cheering when we score or booing when the opposing team catches up, I'm kind of a bleacher filler munching on nachos and occasionally filming a random play to post on Snapchat, to be honest. So here are three reasons why I’m the worst company at football games.
1. I talk about irrelevant things.
Saturday at Southeastern’s first home game against Northwestern State, I noticed that my choice of conversation topics had little to do with what was taking place on the football field. For instance, it was the middle of the first quarter. The student section was packed shoulder-to-shoulder, and the late September sun showed no mercy as it beamed over Strawberry Stadium. When I wasn’t griping about the heat, I was complaining about the Spanish homework I had to complete before Monday. Or I was contemplating aloud what snacks I wanted to grab at the concession stand at half time. Or I was asking one of my friends what products she uses on her hair to keep it moisturized.
Apparently, I believe that stimulating conversation should not be sacrificed anytime, even while watching a football game.
2. I can't accurately describe what is happening.
My friend: "Cabrina, I missed the play. What happened?"
Me: "One guy tried to run the ball but got tackled."
My friend: "Did they get the first down?"
Me: "Umm… sure?"
That is how an exchange would commence if you miss a play and dare ask me to report what happened when you weren’t looking. It’s not like I can’t fill you in because I was busy organizing the order of my workout playlist or something. No, I am watching what’s happening on the field, but my limited understanding of football's rules and terminology makes it hard for me put the activity into words. Unless the running back danced into the end zone, or the football sailed in the air to make a field goal, I can't precisely illustrate the action that is taking place. I will try my very best, though.
3. I'm exhausted by the third quarter.
On Saturday, once I engaged in enough irrelevant small talk and gobbled down my nachos, I grew tired. After all, I had participated in almost two hours of tailgating before the game began, and the constant standing up, sitting down and cheering was enough to wear me out by the third quarter. At this point, with a dying phone, a full stomach and a hoarse voice, I was spent. Still, I endured, for I wanted to see our Lions win with my own eyes, even if I did not comprehend half of the plays they executed to get to that victory.
So if you’re looking for that friend that will shout “Go Lions!” with you in a consistently uproarious manner for all four quarters, I am sad to say I am not that person.
Although I do not fully understand the game of football, I still enjoy attending our home games at Southeastern. I lovesitting in the stands at Strawberry Stadium. The sense of excitement and pride I feel when our football team scatters onto the field to the intro song of The Lion King is indescribable. The deafening roar of the fans, the sight of green fireworks bursting in the evening sky when we score, and the frozen strawberry lemonade are parts of a unique, exuberant experience that I wouldn’t change for the world. I may speak on unrelated material and give false recaps of plays, but that doesn't mean I don't fully support the Lion Nation.
Lion Up!
