In case you have been living under a rock or somehow have not been paying attention to the news, the Republican National Convention has been making big headlines all week. The feeling of watching it is what I would imagine it would feel like to watch a parade float catch on fire and then crash into a crowd of people.

I used to respect Republican values such as small government, only taxing when it has a motivational effect, and the promotion of free trade. I still respect those values, but the Republican Party has taken their other platforms to an extreme that negatively outweighs any benefits of their “small government” philosophy.

I was the last person my friends or family would have ever expected to turn on the GOP but I am no longer willing to associate with the party. Matt Walsh said it best about leaving the GOP himself, “Not my circus, not my elephants.” It really was not Trump that caused me to leave the party. It was a culmination of immaturity, extremism, and division.

Let’s talk about immaturity first.

If I could choose one word to describe the Grand Old Party, I think it would be petty. Think about the onslaught of ridiculous insults Trump has thrown at people over the campaign cycle. From Mexicans, to women, to any minority in the country, he has commented with criticism or ignorance.

Then there are little things that bring Republicans down; like not being able to show compassion (I said show not unable to be compassionate) towards basic human rights, struggling to get women into leadership positions within the party, and becoming defensive about gun rights in the midst of shooting tragedies.

The party is just a mess, from copied speeches and confusion on what their stance is, to struggles with humility.

Sadly, immaturity is not the worst part.

We can now move on to extremism.

When I think about my middle school days and the extreme drama that went down weekly, I can’t help but relate that dynamic to the way the Republican Party works. The Republican platform itself has changed a lot since the 90s-early 2000’s.

It was not always so extreme. In the 1980s, the Republican’s platform stated, “We believe that to the fullest extent possible those immigrants should be admitted who will make a positive contribution to America and who are willing to accept the fundamental American values and way of life.” That is a vast difference from today’s view, which is geared towards keeping people out and even building a wall.

The rapid shift in philosophy reminds me of my middle school mindset, when my opinion on people would quickly swing and people’s petty actions were taken to the worst extreme. Another shift is in their view on gun control. In the early 2000s they supported the right to bear arms but also supported vigorously enforced gun laws. Today Republicans hate any sort of obstacle or legislation that would get in the way of someone trying to purchase an assault rifle.

Looking at just these two shifts in platform on 2^nd Amendment rights and immigration, it would seem the Republicans are trying to be even more conservative in an increasingly less conservative country. Like a frustrated, puberty infected, middle school child, (sorry for that last visual) they stick to their point even more so when they are losing.

Ultimately though, immaturity and extremism are possible to overcome.

Division, however, is not.

Division is rampant in the GOP. It all started with the split of the tea party in 2009. The tea party is the most conservative group of conservatives and most of their platforms are not functional in the modern world. It was a grassroots movement that ultimately ended up causing confusion and starting the years of division.

Since then, conservatives have futile exerting effort to define what their party is really about causing more disagreement and division. The best example of this is the fact that there were 17 Republicans running for the presidential nomination all with different ideas and platforms of what the party should be about.

Donald Trump himself has caused much division. Perhaps the most controversial Republican presidential nominee of all time, many loyal party members such as Glenn Beck have left the party due partially to his influence.

At the Republican National Convention last week, Ted Cruz refused to publicly commit a vote to Trump. This caused so much disruption and booing that he had to leave stage (see “Immaturity” above) and his wife was escorted away out of concern for her safety (see “Extremism” above). I do not blame Ted Cruz for this. The value of individualistic thinking and voting for a candidate that is worthy cannot be written off. The move overall, however, just displayed the desperation inside the party over all the division that has occurred.

Coming back from division will be nearly impossible. The party is more unpopular than it ever has been since the 1930s.

Don’t get me wrong, although I no longer stand with a lot of the party, there are republicans who are working hard to improve the government, Kevin Yoder who works down the aisle with both parties, Paul Ryan who respects family values and is working for unity in congress versus extremism, Condoleezza Rice perhaps the most important female republican influence of our time, and more. It is important to never generalize an entire party into one category (in this case the Trump category).

This election cycle has been one of the most entertaining, interesting, and frightening of all time. Some say that Republicans will never be able to win an election again if they cannot pull this one off and the party will die. I was a diehard conservative and never thought I would leave the party, but I’m fed up with what I’ve seen. I no longer wish to support something that I am embarrassed to tell other people about. Someday, the Republican Party may see me as a supporter again but not if it even remotely resembles the party I am watching now.