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28 Thoughts That Go Through An Impulse Buyer's Mind At 1AM

Impulse buying is going into Walmart for milk and coming out with a wireless printer.

Emily Weyls

Feb 27, 2018

Kent State University

946

28 Thoughts That Go Through An Impulse Buyer's Mind At 1AM

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I am a self-diagnosed impulse buyer. I like to spend my days at Target and my nights on Amazon. If I have a bad day, I blow off some steam at TJ Maxx. Am I alone? Nope. Can this be treated? No. Is there anything wrong with this? Definitely not. This is what a normal thought process looks like for those of us who suffer from this inconvenient urge.

1. I'm bored.

Because who isn't bored at 1 a.m. on a Tuesday, right?

2. What do I like to do when I'm bored...?

3. SHOP!!!

This is where the problem begins.

4. What do I need?

I need things that I can't buy online... like things to stock my empty fridge.

5. What do I want?

EVERYTHING.

6. Sunglasses.

7. Aviators or Wayfarer?

8. Both.

9. What was I thinking about earlier?

I should have been thinking about the three exams I have next week and my work schedule for this weekend, but no.

10. Oh yeah, SOCKS.

Naturally.

11. Fuzzy or regular?

12. BOTH.

13. I don't have any shoes that go with these socks...

Not that I don't already have four bins full or anything!

14. Vans or boots?

15. Not both. Control yourself.

How can I make such a hard decision? Hint... I can't.

16. I definitely don't have the right color top to go with these shoes. Must. Buy.

At this point, I usually send out an SOS text to my mom. I'm surprised she hasn't cut me off yet.

17. Do I really need to be doing this right now?

No.

18. I could always go to Target tomorrow...

19. BUT something will come up, I won't be able to go, and then I'll regret not buying all of this.

I'll probably end up at Target regardless of what happens.

20. I need a new laptop case, mine is dingy.

*adds three to cart* I'll decide at checkout.

21. Maybe I should try to crochet, this kit teaches you how to make a bear!

AND it comes with different colors of yarn! Definite need.

22. Is "professional shopper" a career?

scans room

23. You know what I need? New curtains.

And new shelves, light fixtures, bedding, and why not a barn door for my bathroom too?

24. I should get some succulents too. So ~Joanna Gaines~ of me.

25. You know what I really need? $300 headphones.

26. I can afford these... right?

NO!!!

checks bank account

27. I guess all I really need is socks. That's fine (for now).

28. $16.99 shipping? Nope. I don't need anything.

Because this extra $16.99 is what REALLY sends me over the edge... not all the other items in my cart.

If any of these thoughts sound familiar, you may just be an impulse shopper, too! Don't worry, I think it's a good thing- you live an ever changing life. I have learned to embrace it. You should too.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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28 Thoughts That Go Through An Impulse Buyer's Mind At 1AM

Impulse buying is going into Walmart for milk and coming out with a wireless printer.

1. I'm bored.

2. What do I like to do when I'm bored...?

3. SHOP!!!

4. What do I need?

5. What do I want?

6. Sunglasses.

7. Aviators or Wayfarer?

8. Both.

9. What was I thinking about earlier?

10. Oh yeah, SOCKS.

11. Fuzzy or regular?

12. BOTH.

13. I don't have any shoes that go with these socks...

14. Vans or boots?

15. Not both. Control yourself.

16. I definitely don't have the right color top to go with these shoes. Must. Buy.

17. Do I really need to be doing this right now?

18. I could always go to Target tomorrow...

19. BUT something will come up, I won't be able to go, and then I'll regret not buying all of this.

20. I need a new laptop case, mine is dingy.

21. Maybe I should try to crochet, this kit teaches you how to make a bear!

22. Is "professional shopper" a career?

*scans room*

23. You know what I need? New curtains.

24. I should get some succulents too. So ~Joanna Gaines~ of me.

25. You know what I really need? $300 headphones.

26. I can afford these... right?

*checks bank account*

27. I guess all I really need is socks. That's fine (for now).

28. $16.99 shipping? Nope. I don't need anything.

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All names should be "unisex names."

1. Communicating via email can be awkward.

2. Appointments usually accompany weird looks.

3. Introducing yourself to someone is never without a hitch.

4. You’ve probably thought about changing your name.

5. You’re often asked why you have the name you do.

6. You get excited when you meet someone of your gender with your name.

7. You feel awkward when you meet someone of the opposite gender with your name.

8. You’ve had someone say to you, “I knew a [your name], but they were [your opposite gender].”

9. You’ve heard a bad joke/pick-up line or two about your name before.

10. People are surprised when they see you.

11. You’re extra sensitive to other unique or unisex names.

12. You’ve fought with your parents about it.

13. All things considered, you’re happy your name makes you unique.

You know that all of these things apply to you. You'll just never tell.

I get it... I'm pale.

1. At least I can't lose you in a crowd!

2. Oh my goodness your skin is like glow-in-the-dark.

3. Can't you just get fake tan?

4. Do you tan or just burn?

5. Your kids are going to look like Casper the Friendly Ghost!

6. *holds arm against your arm* Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. *holds pale arm against another pale arm* Aw, at least you're darker than her!

8. I laid out by the pool almost every day over break!

9. I haven't used sunscreen since I was, like, five.

10. *adjusts selfie lighting to their face* Oops, where'd you go??

11. *after working out* Your face is SO red!

12. *wears white* Look! You're all one color!

13. You need to get some sun.

14. Aren't you excited for summer?

The struggle bus is real.

1. Child prodigies:

2. Hearing other musicians in the practice room next door and accepting that you will never be as talented as them:

3. That anxiety that takes over before every performance:

4. Taking a million 0 credit classes:

5. When there's a paper due the next day, but you have to attend yet another concert in order to pass a 0 credit class:

6. When your friends try to encourage you after a performance, even though you are criticizing everything in your mind:

7. Knowing that there's always that one professor during juries:

8. The oh-so-attractive band/choir uniforms:

9. Realizing that a college campus is maybe not the best atmosphere to finish your latest composition:

10. Hearing "Oh, you sing opera? I LOVE Phantom of the Opera!" for the hundredth time:

11. When people think finals week is a breeze for you.

12. When you're drowning in the stress that comes with 18+ credits (and not to mention all those 0 credit classes) and people ask you how you are:

13. When it all comes down to it, though, you know that at the end of the day, music is your passion:

Because you need it in your life.

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scans room

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6. holds arm against your arm Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. holds pale arm against another pale arm Aw, at least you're darker than her!

10. adjusts selfie lighting to their face Oops, where'd you go??

11. after working out Your face is SO red!

12. wears white Look! You're all one color!