If you're a second generation Italian-American, like myself, then "crazy" is the best word to describe how you grew up. Or I should say, "pazzo". There is never a dull moment when the whole family is together, and every time you try and tell someone how many cousins you have you're always forgetting at least one of them because there are too many to count! Here's my list of reasons you knew you were growing up Italian.
1. The wooden spoon or the belt, choose your weapon.
When Nonna took this out of the drawer you knew you were in for it big time! There's nothing that scares a little Italian kid more than that despised utensil that is supposed to be used for sauce. When grandpa took the belt off, you also knew to run.
2. Is it a pepper or a horn?
Is it an Italian horn? Or is it a pepper? To this day I still have no idea but I do know that my dad just asked me to go to Salpino's yesterday to go get another one. How many can we possibly have? There's one hanging from every door that leads to outside from my house and I wish I knew why. And why is there one hanging in the tree?!
3. Classic songs.
If you aren't familiar with Toto Cutugno, then are you really Italian? If you grew up with the first generation Italians then you know all the words to "L'italiano" and "Ti amo". The real test is if the DJ plays these two songs at a big family party, because you know the whole family will get on the dance floor and sing to them in Italian. I'm guilty.
4. Communion's and Confirmation's are so much more than a sacrament.
Did you contact all the family from Italy to let them know you're receiving your First Holy Communion? What about picking you're favorite crazy Zia or Zio to be your sponsor for your Confirmation? Just when you thought the church was all over, you have the huge party with all the family from out of state and the country coming in to help celebrate something you barely understood. At 8 years old I was just ecstatic to wear a giant "wedding dress".
5. Mangia!
Yes of course I love the pasta, eggplant, Nonna's artichokes, mommy's chicken cutlets and meatballs, and the stuffed shells. Sometimes it can be too much. Like at a family barbecue is it necessary to have trays of Italian sausage and ziti? When you go to Nonna's for Sunday dinner you will leave with enough leftovers for breakfast, lunch and dinner for the next three days. Especially after a holiday you know you'll have extras to last for at least a week for the whole family. I'm also that Italian girl who gets her hand on a nice chunk of provolone as soon as I do my food shopping. Judge me I dare you.
6. Every family has a garden with tomatoes, cucumbers and basil.
What else do you really need? You got the tomatoes and basil for sauce, and the cucumbers for salad. Whether it was my grandparents or my own parents everyone had a garden in the summer and this was a majority of what it contained. I am not ashamed because I love the homemade sauce.
7. The made up "English/Italian" language.
The majority of my family speaks or understands Italian. Being that my grandparents had to learn English when they came to America, their children learned both English and Italian so then it got passed down to my generation. I don't know about your family but every time someone tells a story in mine it's never in one language. We must incorporate both English and Italian. No one questions it, everyone just goes along and speaks it and then laughs. That is and always will be the pattern.
8. "Dominick the donkey".
"Hey! Chingedy ching, (hee-haw, hee-haw) It's Dominick the donkey!"Ask any Italian, we know every single word to this song. This is our Christmas anthem every single year for like the past 30 years. The best part is anyone who's named "Dominick" in the family will get teased and sung to all year round. I'm very guilty of torturing my dad with this (sorry daddy). Can't forget about Pepino the Italian mouse either!
9. The socks and sandals.
Since I'm already teasing my dad, why not take it a bit further and mention that not only him, but every other Italian will wear socks and sandals. No matter if it's running out quick to get the cake before the company comes over, or if you're doing a huge food shopping trip. The socks and sandals always seem to make their grand appearance somewhere. For my family, the pictures usually end up on Facebook.
10. The farm animals.
This might have just been my family, but I definitely did not grow up the slightest bit normal. My Nonna had chickens in our backyard and when I was little I use to take them for walks. Yes you read that correctly, I use to walk the chickens. My mom would come home from work and find me in the backyard with string tied around one of the chick's feet walking it around. This may be the root of the reason why I'm still trying to convince my parents to get a goat. It will happen.
11. This was considered a normal lunch.
A whole loaf of Italian bread stuffed with fresh mozzarella, prosciutto, chicken cutlet, red peppers, and black olives with balsamic vinegar all over the damn thing isn't what you had in mind for lunch? That's what Ma had in mind for you! Unfortunately, we'll always be the ones made fun of in school for bringing these obnoxious sized lunches meanwhile the kid next you had bologna and cheese. You know it's true. You also know it's pronounced "mootzadell" not "mozzarella".
12. Nutella
Speaking of lunch, I was the Italian kid always made fun of for bringing a "chocolate sandwich" in elementary school, but not by the other kids, by the teachers. Apparently my family had the Nutella in the house before it even became the hype that it is today. And no, it is not chocolate it's hazelnut, so shove it!
13. The names.
The names repeat, trust me. In my family we have three "Angela's", three "Lucia's", two "Mario's", two "Antonio's", two "Dominick's", and at least three or ten "Salvatore's". It's like every kid needs to be named after someone. "Oh we decided to name her after my mother's sister's second cousin!" Really? This can't just be my family.
14. We talk smack in our language.
"Chistu ragazza!" I'm insanely guilty of screaming this in public to my mom and sister when we see a girl who looks like she's dressed to go to a club or something. Yes, we are judging you, and yes we will do it respectfully in our language so you won't understand it. Move along, and please change out of the skin tight dress you wear to Shop Rite.
15. Stop "wine-ing" and just drink it!
We were all taught to drink wine at dinner, even the kids! From the time I was about 8 or 9 I remember drinking wine and mixing it with ginger-ale. All of the kids did this, and they still do! But it has to be Nonno's wine that he makes! It's never store bought.
16. The Lizzie McGuire Movie.
All the girls in the family hold this movie in their hearts, including myself. We always dreamed of Paolo as our future boyfriend, or hoped to find a "Paolo" when we went to Italy someday. We know the song "Volare" like the back of our hand, and we always impressed our friends when we recited the entire Italian part within the song.
17. The Palm Sunday Crosses.
It could be 7 years old but it's still in your kitchen or bedroom! You can't just have one either. You must have multiple or you're not a real Italian. Tying them into the Cross is a totally different story. If you don't know how to do tie it into the Cross please don't call yourself Italian. Nonna always has to bless the table with it too after dipping it in the Holy Water and going down the table blessing each member of the family. This only takes like 20 minutes don't worry!
18. The fig trees.
Why does every Italian have one of these somewhere on their yard? I remember picking off the figs from Nonna's tree when I was younger and peeling them open just to sit on the grass and stuff my face with it. Just the other day I walked into my backyard and found a plant on our patio so I asked my dad what it was. "Nonno gave me a fig tree!" Awesome! Do you need me to go get another Italian pepper for this tree too?
19. We all look forward to Nonna's Struffoli.
The Americans call them "Honey Balls" but it's called Struffoli. We start talking about this dessert about a month before Christmas because we know that's the only time of year Nonna will make it! When it comes out on the table you better run for it before it's gone. Cannoli's are cool too but this is the stuff we go crazy for.
20. When we talk, we yell.
There's no such thing as talking. It's yelling, and this is done way too often. We yell when we tell a story, we yell when we fight, and we yell when we express our love to each other. You get use to it. This is really a norm for us Italians.
21. Pastina.
Pastina is Italian Penicillin. Need I say more?
22. Padre Pio.
Padre Pio is always watching you. He's on the refrigerator, He's above the fireplace, and He's definitely waiting for you as soon as you walk in to Nonna and Nonno's house.
23. "Give a kiss and say goodbye".
Thanks to this sign of respect, I now have awkward encounters with my friends when I go to say goodbye to them. It's a habit to kiss someone on the cheek when you say goodbye and now half of my friends probably think I'm strange. Oh well.
24. The gold jewelry.
I can't tell you how many pairs of gold earrings I had from Italy. If it's not a girl's earrings, then it's the boy's chain or bracelet. We all had at least one piece of jewelry that had to be from Italy and we usually received it for our Christening, Communion, or Confirmation. I still received jewelry pieces when I graduated from high school.
25. Morning Italian soccer games.
Every so often I'll wake up and find my dad watching the soccer game, but he doesn't just watch it. He's got the jersey on, the stove top Espresso is brewing, and he's making sure he's giving everyone the play by play on Facebook. We must let all of the cousins in Italy know that we're also watching the game on the Italian station, and we do this with a cup of Espresso in our hand also!
26. Do you need more bread?
We love to eat, but when the food is gone off of our plates is it actually really gone? Of course not, we need to cut another piece of bread and wipe the dish clean with it. The left over oil and vinegar soaked in to the fresh Italian bread is my weakness. Sometimes even the left over penne alla vodka sauce too.
27. Weddings
Italian weddings are something else! 500 people will be invited, but the bride will most likely only know 20 to 30 of them. "How are you? You got so big since I've last seen you!" I have no idea who I just kissed hello, but I'll probably see them in about 5 or 10 more years at another wedding.
There's no doubt that I love being Italian and everything that comes along with it! Nothing compares to the loving bond that we all have for each other, especially when we're yelling. Anyone who's Italian would understand everything I've mentioned and maybe there's even a few other points out there that I forgot! Remember, if you're ever coming over to my house check for the pepper hanging from my front door. It's there, and probably won't ever come down. Ever.
