27 of the Craziest Chad Quotes from 'The Bachelorette' | The Odyssey Online
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27 of the Craziest Chad Quotes from 'The Bachelorette'

You never cease to entertain us, buddy.

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27 of the Craziest Chad Quotes from 'The Bachelorette'
The Ringer

This season on The Bachelorette we have a lot of quality guys, but no one makes us recognize how great they are quite like Chad. He’s been portrayed as this season’s villain and even though you desperately want to hate him, you just can’t. There’s something about his constant eating, strange comebacks, and beef with Evan and Alex that make it impossible to want him to get sent home (even though he did). Now don’t get me wrong, Chad is not hubby material, he's crazy, but if nothing else, he is definitely a new perspective on what it means to be a contestant on The Bachelorette. Here are just a few Chad-isms that make him a memorable guy:

1. His position on everyone being there for the “right reasons”:

“I feel like everyone, man. Y’all don’t know her yet, you can’t be in love with her. Is this the first beautiful girl you’ve ever seen? You don’t have TV? You don’t have magazines?”

2. His beef with short men, mainly Alex:

“She’s gonna keep Alex around because she doesn’t want America to think she hates short people.”

3. His strategic plan to the final rose ceremony:

“I’m gonna have some protein shakes, keep working out, keep eating the food, and continue to do what I do. At the end of the day, I’m going to get the girl.”

4. His plans for after the show:

“You think this is a show. And you think you’re safe, for now. But one day this ends. And when this ends, you go home. When you go home, you think I can’t find you? You think I won’t go out of my way to come to your house? I’m dead f*cking serious.”

***PSYCHO ALERT***

5. His advice on the type of men to avoid:

“I always warn girls, I always say: Stay away from the nice guys.”

6. His blossoming bromance with Dan, man who got naked in the first episode:

“I think you’re cool, man. I’m glad I met you.”

7. His insults via the only thing he knows best, protein:

“If you’re making a protein shake made of the group of dudes here and ya know, blended it up… half that dude-protein-shake would have zero chance with JoJo.”

8. His foolproof way to make the perfect first impression:

“You’re starting off a little naggy here. If I’m getting nagged, I’m gonna say something.”

9. His unconventional diet:

*chops into sweet potato like it's an apple*

10. His advice on how to keep quiet in necessary situations:

“The only way I can get you to shut your mouth is to hit you in it.”

11. His position on dairy products:

“Milk’s delicious.”

12. His unwavering demand of respect:

“I’m not very happy with you. I’m not very happy with you. With you! I’m not “maaad”… I’m just disappointed.”

13. His views on the men in the mansion:

“Pigs are in the castle.”

14. His shock at JoJo calling him out for threatening other contestants:

“Alex lied. He told her that I threatened people. And you know what? Now I gotta go find Alex.”

15. His “not-threatening” threats towards Evan:

“You’re gonna f*cking die if you don’t chill out.”

16. His reaction when he sees himself in a mirror:

“Woahhhh, hey, buddy!”

17. His apparent X-ray vision:

“I don’t get why they’re all happy with each other, and they’re gonna be all happy to see her in a bathing suit. I’d be happier having her not be in a bathing suit, so they couldn’t see her in a bathing suit. I know what she probably looks like, I can tell through her dress.”

18. His reformed approach to settling differences in the house:

“I don’t want to physically fight you, but if there’s no way to stop you from saying what you’re saying, then I will physically have to hurt you.”

19. His comparison between him and Evan through food analogies:

“So it’s like, imagine me trying to figure out what restaurant you want to eat at. You know what I mean? I mean, you want ice cream, or you want steak?”

20. His assumption as to why people in the house have problems with him:

"Look, whatever guy like me stole your girlfriend, it wasn't me. I don't know you. I barely talk to you and honestly you just keep bringing me up."

21. His past times

“I’m going to cut everyone here’s legs off, and arms off, and there’s gonna be torsos, and then I’m gonna throw them in the pool.”

***NOT THREATENING AT ALL, THOUGH***

22. His way to handle altercations:

"It's so unfortunate that I can't hurt you without getting in trouble right now."

23. His role model:

"Myself in 10 years."

24. His preferred person to be for just one day:

"Myself in 10 years."

25. His dream lunch date:

"Myself in 10 years."

26. His greatest achievement:

"Being born good looking."

27. His response to, “Will you accept this rose?”

“I do.”

So here's to you, Chad. We loved ya while ya lasted.

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