The day this article will be published is on my birthday, December 12. This year, I am turning 27. It got me thinking about what all I have learned in these 27 years. So, here is my list - maybe it will help you if you find yourself in a situation needing some insight.
1. Time flies.
Really, time gets away faster than it may feel. Suddenly you find yourself in full-fledged adulthood and no chance to turn back. Savor the moment. Especially college - this unique time in life will never happen again.
2. People are sometimes in your life for only a season.
It's okay to let people go sometimes. It doesn't mean their time was for nothing or that you don't care anymore. It just means your lives are going in different directions.
3. Kindness always wins.
Think about how nice it feels when someone shows you kindness, especially if it was unexpected. Now go show the same kindness to others. It has the potential to make someone's day.
4. Always have extra toilet paper.
You just never know.
5. Be mindful.
Be sure to learn your signals for anxiety and stress. And learn mindfulness (skills like grounding and centering yourself) so you can focus your energy on that when you need it.
6. Continue to practice manners.
I remember transitioning from undergrad at Longwood University to graduate school at VCU. At Longwood, students held the door for each other and didn't really think twice about it. At VCU, nobody seemed to care like that. It's amazing how a simple act like holding a door open can be helpful.
7. Take the risk.
You may find yourself presented with opportunities that are so outside of your comfort zone (like, joining a Rodan + Fields team), but if you never try it, you'll never know what the benefit could be.
8. Practice good self-care, not just stress management.
Yes, there is a difference. Stress management is a reaction to times of stress (ex: taking a nap, in denial that something important needs to be done). Self-care, however, is more proactive. It is something you do to keep your bucket full, so to speak. So an example of that would be treating yourself to a massage once a month or something like that.
9. Better out than in.
I say this to my counseling clients all the time, especially when they are apologizing for getting emotional. Let your feelings out! If you hold them in, it will only cause more damage. Find a safe way to share your feelings and let it out!
10. No. And no reason necessary.
Believe it or not, you do not have to give a reason for saying no. You can just say it. Nobody is entitled to knowing your reason why.
11. Trust your gut.
Instincts are usually pretty spot-on, so try trusting your gut and seeing where it leads you.
12. The grass is greener where you water it.
If you spend your life looking at the "greener" grass in the other yard, your own yard will continue to turn brown. Focus inward (i.e. practice mindfulness), and water your own grass. Maybe your life can feel more full with a little more energy focused on where you are right now.
13. Money doesn't buy happiness.
The older I have gotten, the more I treasure time with family and friends going on random adventures. Money could not buy that same amount of happiness.
14. But that doesn't mean it isn't important.
Let's be real, you need money to live. Don't sell yourself short. If you are working at a job that is not paying you adequately, maybe it's time to move on. Somebody will pay you what you deserve, you may just have to get creative with how to find it.
15. Things can get lost in translation.
Pick up the phone, meet in person, facetime, whatever. But only communicating through text or online becomes impersonal and the way you read it may not be the way it was intended.
16. Patience.
Patience really is a virtue. When someone is impatient with me, I feel pressured to get things done and it either becomes half-assed or just incomplete. So I try to keep this in mind when I am presented an opportunity to be patient.
17. Never stop learning.
You can learn from everyone if you look closely. Find something that interests you and learn more about it. Pursue something totally different. Just keep your mind active by learning new things.
18. Stay humble.
Nobody likes arrogance. Be confident, yes. But stay humble.
19. Invest early.
My first job offered a retirement plan where they would match your investment up to a certain percentage. In one year, I invested over $3,000 in retirement. If you can do that young, that money will add up and accrue interest quickly. And if you start right away, you will never miss the income anyway (plus, it's less taxable income so that's a win/win).
20. Really get to know yourself - the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Back to mindfulness. But get comfortable in your own skin and know exactly who you are.
21. Learn how to cook.
It can be cheaper than eating out and also more delicious.
22. Learn how to manage money.
Adulting is expensive. You have to know how to pay your bills, pay for living expenses, and save money.
23. Knowin' and doin'.
My mom used to say this to us growing up (and growing up in the South, the g's on the end of those words were never enunciated). The conversation usually went like this:
Mom: Have you done your homework yet?
Me: Mom, I know!
Mom: Knowin' and doin', babe.
Basically, don't be lazy and say you're going to do something. Just do it.
24. Take care of something - a pet, a plant, etc.
If you can take care of another living being, you have shown you can handle bigger responsibility.
25. Say yes to things that scare you.
Again, back to my new adventure working as a Consultant for Rodan + Fields. It's scary and exciting and pushes me out of my comfort zone. Try it!
26. Be true to yourself.
"To thine own self, be true". This incorporates more mindfulness (notice a theme here?) and self-awareness. Honesty with yourself is key to being comfortable with who you are.
27. Don't take life so seriously.
You only get one shot at this thing. Enjoy the ride!
