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27 Christian Pickup Lines

Is that a thin-line, duo-tone, compact ESV study Bible?

Gabby Ater

Sep 26, 2016

Ashland University

Google

Everybody loves a good pickup line. Whether they're good or not, they're always funny. Here are some pickup lines I've gather for you Jesus lovers out there:

1. You must be made out of water because Jesus turned you into FINE.

2. I've been struggling with loneliness. Would you mind meeting with me to pray about it?

3. You put the stud in bible study.

4.So last night I was reading in the book of Numbers, and then I realized, I don’t have yours.

5. Is it a sin that you stole my heart?

6. Is this the transfiguration? Because you're glowing!

7. Is your name faith? Because you're the substance of things I've hoped for.

8. How many times do I have to walk around you for you to fall for me?

9. I would part the Red Sea for you.

10. Is it hot in here, or is that just the Holy Spirit burning inside of you?

11. I didn't know angels flew this low.

12. You and me? We're like loaves and fishes. We might be a miracle together.

13. If we were around when Noah was here... Me + you = a pair.

14. I know that Solomon had 700 wives...He obviously never met you.

15. Let me sell you an indulgence because it's a sin to look as good as you.

16. I feel like God's telling me that you should go on a date with me.

17. I just want you to know that I'm praying for you... FOR you.

18. I mentioned you in my testimony.

19. Is that a thin-line, duo-tone, compact ESV study Bible?

20. I didn't believe in predestination until tonight.

21. Do you need a prayer? Because I'm willing to lay hands on you.

22. If I kissed you on one cheek, would you turn the other?

23. The fact that I met you shows me that God loves me.

24. Is this seat saved? Because I am.

25. When I count my blessings, I make sure to count you twice.

26. I'd work 7 years for you to be mine.

27. I heard Jesus called you. Mind if I do the same?

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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27 Christian Pickup Lines

Is that a thin-line, duo-tone, compact ESV study Bible?

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#Adulting is hard.

1. Taking care of yourself when you're sick

2. Making a to-do list

3. Planning your activities around the weather

4. Scheduling your own doctor’s appointments

5. Getting your own toilet paper

6. Making food without needing to ask your mom questions

7. Holding your tongue

8. Saving your paycheck (or your tax refund) to pay your bills

9. Balancing your checkbook

10. Going places alone

11. Packing your own lunches

12. Actually eating your vegetables...on purpose

13. Taking a multivitamin

14. Planning a life after graduation

Sometimes bigger isn't always better.

1. If something happens, everyone knows about it

2. Never getting to be invisible

3. Knowing every single thing about every single person in the town

4. New kids are a big deal

5. It’s hard to make new friends

6. On that note ... the dating pool is even smaller!

7. Teachers are weirdly close to their students

8. It forced you to make friends out of school

"I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love"

1. That Time He Tested Out His Flirting Skills and This Happened

2. When He Was Willing to Do Anything to Avoid Confrontation

3. When He Couldn't Handle Awkward, Emotional Situations

4. How He Reacted Whenever His Friends Ignored Him

5. All of the Times He Worried About His Failing Love Life

6. Whenever He Tried to Whip Himself Into Shape

7. How He Handled New People and New Experiences

8. Whenever His Friends Got Annoying, He Was Always the Voice of Reason

9. He Always Knew How to Jam

10. He Finds a Way to Make Any Situation More Fun

No, I can't help you.

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

4. Having the same conversations over and over again! To be honest I really don't even want to talk to you right now, or have this fake ass smile on my face!

5. Always having to have a smile on your face. I promise I'm not as happy as I may look!

6. Customers not understanding that sometimes, mistakes happen. I am a human being, we all mess up sometimes!

7. Having the boss from hell, it's their way or the highway! Even though I did my job correctly and efficiently, if I don't do it the exact way you do, I'm a piece of shit.

8. Having coworker who don't help out, who bend the rules just enough to screw you over.

9. Having to be at work after closing because a customer is taking forever and half! Not like I'd like to go home or anything!

10. Having shitty hours and more shifts than you asked for. Just because we don't have enough workers, doesn't mean I want to pick up every shift that you cant cover, oh great boss of mine!

11. Not having time for a social life. It gets old saying, "I can't I have work..." Every day of the week!

12. Having that lazy costumer who can't do anything for themselves... no please I'll get that, it's no problem at all!

It's just my face, I swear.

1. When you meet new people, they automatically assume you hate them or are rude.

2. People are constantly asking you if you're OK.

3. After being friends with someone for a while, they confess to you, "I thought you were so mean when I first met you," or, "I thought you hated me."

4. You get told to smile more, but they don't understand how scary that would be.

5. You're always labeled as seeming "judgy."

6. Passing a friend with your RBF in full force and not realizing you just shot them a death glare.

7. Being sarcastic, but everyone thinks you're outright rude.

8. Not knowing how mean you really look until you see a picture of yourself in resting face.

9. Your apologies never sound sincere because of your emotionless face.

10. Your "mad face" scares you.

11. And, lastly, people are constantly asking you if you are happy or having a good time because you look bored to death.

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