Ever since I was a little kid, my parents taught me how to be strong and fight back after getting hurt, but no words can summarize what if feels like to bear such a heavy burden. Assault was never a joke in my eyes. I never took anything for granted and I certainly didn't think that I would ever be that girl who would get assaulted; but I did and now it's something I will have to life with for eternity. Although it's been 206 days, I can still picture every little detail like it was yesterday - and that is something I don't think I will ever get over. How could I be so careless? How could I lack the respect of my own body?
You see, if you're reading this and haven't been in a place like I am, first let me say bless you - because it sucks. All the rumors are true; the victims are not treated fairly and usually get the shorter end of the stick. Words such as liar and fake came up a lot around that time, and you'd be surprised that most of the people were the "closest" to me. Secondly, if you have been there, you'll know that it's traumatic. Just please try and fight it. I know, I know, it doesn't matter how many days, months, or years go by, you will always find a trigger for the event.
“Instead of saying, "I'm damaged, I'm broken, I have trust issues," say "I'm healing, I'm rediscovering myself, I'm starting over.”
Assault has been occurring around my campus at an alarming rate and I can't bear to think of it any longer. It destroys a part of me inside because as I mentioned - I am a survivor. Even though I've been on my road to recovery for just about a year now, it is still appalling that people are continuing to take advantage of one another even though we've fought so hard against it. Ramapo College has a huge community of support against sexual assault, but I know you may not have your inner voice just yet, thus why I'm fighting everyday to stand up for others. I do not want what happened to me to happen to someone I know, or do not know. I want it to stop, and I'm afraid my voice isn't loud enough.
“But no matter how much evil I see, I think it’s important for everyone to understand that there is much more light than darkness.”
That's where all the others come in. For you, girls and boys who have been through it - just know that even though I do not know you, I am there for you. Sadly, we will always be tied in some way because we are the individuals who have been defaced and made a statistic, and I am so sorry. I'm sorry it will stick with you, I'm sorry for all the pain and struggles, but it is time to stand against it and win - together. This isn't something anyone else on campus should have to go through. We are all worth so much more and that's that.
