1. The best Harry Potter movie marathons take place in the car.
The year you made it to The Order of the Phoenix was the year you played a lot of soccer.
2. There are some states that you're simply allergic to.
It's all fun and games until you start to sneeze at breakfast.
3. You've been to Rockford, Illinois; Muscatine, Iowa; and that small town in Arkansas more than you'd like.
Field(s) of dreams.
4. There's nothing like a hotel waffle.
Peanut butter, not syrup!!
5. Your childhood dream was to touch the chandelier in the middle of every Drury Inn.
You wanted to swing from the chandelier before wanting to swing from the chandelier was cool.
6. The Fiji water in the hotel room is not free.
Please take a moment of silence for all the kids who learned that the hard way.
7. You've mastered the art of keeping your phone and your hotel key in separate hands.
You don't know panic until you realize you've had both in the same pocket for the last thirty minutes.
8. 'I Spy' is not fun any more.
You've found all the license plates, been through the ABC's a dozen times, and won the quiet game more than you can count.
9. Snacks are not your own.
It's the rule of the car.
10. Truly awkward silence: A car-full of girls after a loss.
For four hours.
11. Friends are nice, but open seats are nicer.
You can only handle someone else's feet in your lap for so long.
12. There aren't a lot of happy people in rest stop bathrooms.
Rest stops are for parents who "have had it up to here!" and "will turn this car around!"
13. There was a time when the hotel pool was the 8th wonder of the world.
Then you reached high school, and everything was off-limits: "Stay out of the sun and stay out of the hot tub."
14. It's important to at least bring a few school books.
Lol.
15. There's a lot of corn in the Midwest.
I mean really, who eats it all?
16. There are some towns that simply don't have radio stations. You'll probably drive through three or four of on them each trip.
Static, CD's, and Spotify. Don't forget your headphones.
17. It's not an out of town tournament if the windows aren't decorated with your name, nickname, team, team cheer.
You're allowed to include your dog's favorite color and social security number too, as long as you use your team colors and write in bubble letters.
18. By the end of the weekend, someone will forget a jersey in a gas station bathroom, leave a sock at the fields, or accidentally drop a shinguard out the car window.
It's just the way it goes.
19. There is no greater feeling than realizing you missed the luggage-cart-moving-the-whole-family-in-to-a-small-hotel-room process.
Luggage carts are way more fun when you're pretending you're with Zack and Cody at the Tipton. Not when you actually need to transport bags and suitcases.
20. Whichever parent brings the tent for the bench and the cooler full of rags is the real MVP.
God bless soccer moms and dads.
21. How to answer the question: "Have you been to Overland Park, Kansas City?"
"Yeah, I know my way around 135th, Metcalf, Antioch, The Blue Moose, Orange Leaf, that big soccer ball fountain, and the super fun spinny-thing at the playground."
22. Elevators can be rollercoasters if you try hard enough.
Imagination is key.
23. The Soccer Master tents have too much of your parents' money.
You really needed to pay an extra $6 to get a star by the name of your team. The pajama pants were necessary. And you couldn't live without a new color of pre-wrap.
24. Port-a-Pottys are a fact of life.
You got over that a long time ago.
25. The left lane is for passing.
And your dad belongs in a NASCAR race. Road rage is real, people.
26. For the sake of everyone in the car, change into a clean pair of socks after your last game on Sunday.
Because while you may forget the wins and losses, you'll never forget the way you smelled on the way home.
