1. Crispitos are not just a food, they’re a lifestyle.
2. The Homewood Patriot Marching Band is like the Meryl Streep of marching bands: they cannot be beat, they cannot be outdone, and they cannot lose against anything.
4. Windows are for the weak.
5. So is a level parking lot.
6. We’ve inconveniently placed stadium the seven miles away from the actual school because... reasons.
7. The Stairwell: you know the one. It smells like pancakes. Or burning rubber. Or rotting garbage. Not sure which, but you know exactly what I’m talking about.
8. Miss Heritage might as well be a prelim to Miss Alabama.
9. The dress code was unbelievably biased.
10. The mural of a blank field above the doors to the senior patio literally serves no purpose, and they could’ve saved on paint by just putting in an actual window.
11. Every parking lot has a name, and Spangle lot is the best one. (Others include Second Tier, Redneck lot, The Concourse, and Band lot).
12. The building is crawling with various organic matter: spiders, scorpions, mice, rats, snakes, birds, mold, mildew, etc.
13. You are an expert on sneaking into the library and staying for extended periods of time without getting caught. Although, why is it illegal to study in your own school library? The world may never know.
14. May our hearts re- *stomp* -flect thy spirit HONOR AND LOYALTY.
15. 75 percent of the school is in the pep rallies and spectators are mostly made up of parents with their phones out. Ergo, school spirit is usually nonexistent.
16. The mommy mafia. And there’s a good chance your mom is in it.
17. The McBrides are the William and Mary of Homewood: a power couple that the entire student body adores and highly regards.
18. The cheerleaders like to hurt themselves for a cool effect (Yes, I’m talking about Splat).
19. The Jam: it’s revolutionized the way we see drumlines.
20. The drum line is second-in-command when it comes to Homewood royalty.
21. The cheerleaders also have a strange obsession with "The Nan."
22. There are cavernous tunnels and hallways underground that mainly exist to house the astronomical amount of vintage pictures we still continue to hang on to.
23. Eight out of 10 times the bathrooms by the choir room will be locked. And does anyone know why? Nope.
24. Homewood is its own unique little world on the side of Lakeshore Drive that anyone outside of it strives to understand.
25. Even though Homewood comes with its many flaws and issues, you wouldn’t have wanted to go anywhere else. It’s the land where football players are in show choir, where cheerleaders are in band, where crispitos rule, and where we’re featured on national television at least once every four years.
